Okay, my question is more a measure to find out a few things...
According to a news broadcast, men are more likely to date women that have been dumped, opposed to women that dumped the guy...
Conversely, women are more likely to date a man that dumped women, than a man that has been dumped by a woman.
What are your thoughts?
I am nutral.
However, I find it amazing that women would prefer to date a guy that dumped his ex... Don't that mean you are more likely to be dumped by him yourself? I don't get the logic...
- I am a guy that rather date a girl that has been dumped by an ex.Vote A
- I am a guy that rather date a girl that dumped her exes.Vote B
- I am a girl that rather date a guy that has been dumped by his ex.Vote C
- I am a girl that rather date a guy that dumped his exes.Vote D
Most Helpful Girl
It doesn't make a difference to me personally.
But if I can take a stab at why men and women view this differently:
A man might worry about dating a girl who dumped her last boyfriend because:
- he sees her as a woman with high standards or who knows what she wants; she isn't willing to settle---if that guy wasn't "good enough", am I going to be? (which puts a lot of pressure on the guy to meet all of her standards, and makes him worried that if he doesn't, he's going to be dumped too--which is difficult for any person, but I think has an additional "ego bruising" effect on men)
A man might prefer a girl who has been dumped because:
- he sees her as more willing to accept a man's flaws or to work on problems
- he sees her as more committed and less likely to stray or break up with him for the next appealing guy who comes by
- the last guy "hurt" her---so he sees the opportunity of being her "white knight"; he can swoop in when her self-esteem is hurt (making it easier for him to get her), and he can make her feel better (I've noticed a lot of guys have the tendency to want to "fix things") and show that he's a better guy than the last
Girls, on the other hand, might not want to date a guy who has been dumped by a woman because:
- she sees him as someone who wasn't "good enough" for the last woman. She thinks there must have been a good reason why this last woman didn't want him, so she doesn't want him either. There were things about him that made him a bad boyfriend, or flaws that he had, that this other woman couldn't "fix" or change, so she thinks he still has those characteristics and I might not be able to change them either. If he wasn't good enough for another girl, he's not good enough for me.
- if she dumped him, he might still have feelings for her. What if he dumps me or cheats on me if she changes her mind? What if he's constantly comparing me to "the one that got away" and is just settling for me?
She sees a guy who has dumped women in the opposite light:
- he doesn't have feelings for his ex (since he broke up with her), so he's less likely to want to go back to her or cheat on me with her.
- He sees something in me that she didn't have; I'm better than her (women can be really competitive in this sense)
- She didn't dump him, which suggests she still wanted to be with him---that means he likely has the characteristics that a girl wants in a boyfriend.1
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