How to..um...put a girl "on hold"?

I recently started dating a girl that I like. It's going well and I suspect will be at it for a while. After a few dates with her, another girl that I like gave me her phone number, obviously with some kind of relationship in mind.

I texted the girl that gave me her phone number, and said we should hang out some time, but have never actually scheduled anything. It's been about two weeks since then, and I saw her once afterward in person and she is still interested.

I really like both of them, but feel more loyalty towards the first girl. I'm tempted to take the other girl out on a date or two, but I don't want to ruin things with the first. I just want a way to keep the second girl as an option if/when things don't work out. I don't want to make her feel like I'm uninterested. Gotta avoid the friend zone too.

Ideas?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Option 1: Pick one of the two, I would suggest your gut decision. The fact of the matter is that you could pick one and it could not work out but you could have picked the other one and it wouldn't have worked out. Relationships are funny like that. If you "put a girl on hold" (frowned up and honestly mean) and that girl finds out what you did... well lets just say the saying "hell hath no fury like a women scorned" started somewhere. Be friends with one but make it clear that you're involved and you're being friends, she may decide to wait a least a bit into your relationship before she moves on, you never know.

    Option 2: See if they're both okay with you casually dating the two of them, that way you can get a better feel for which one you are more interested in. I would try and be upfront about it with them, like tell them you want to date casually and that both of you are allowed to date other people. It shouldn't take too long to figure out which one you like more.

    Whichever option you pick, be honest with them both. No lies. You really don't want to start things that way.

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What Girls Said 3

  • idk everyone says don't do it. But it depends how long you been dating the first girl. I have dated a guy and the old one or new one came at the same time. I hung out with them once or twice to see how I feel. It's dating, not boyfriend and girlfriend I don't see the harm in it. Obv don't hook up or lead her on, I would hang out with her.

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  • You can't put girls "on hold". We aren't objects, we are people. We have feelings too, and I'd never want to be someone's "last resort". You have to pick between them. Maybe you aren't as into any of them as you think if you are even thinking of sacrificing things with the first girl. You can stay friends with the second girl, but nothing more if you are dating the first girl, and there is no guarantee that it will work out with her in the future if you aren't going for her now. That's just the risk you have to take. Choose between them, but you can't string the other one along.

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  • Tell her you want to take a short break, you just need some time by yourself. You want to be with her, but you need some time to clear you mind...

    I know this is pretty random, but do you think the guy who wrote this question is a lunatic?

    link

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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't do it. Tell the second girl that you think she's great but you're already in a relationship with someone else right now. She won't want to wait for you and the first girl won't want you having plans "just in case" things don't work out with her.

    If things don't work out with the first girl, THEN you can work on another option.

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