Dating someone who isn't talkative?

I've been dating a guy for a year and 2 months (on and off relationship)... Honestly?, I feel like I'm the one to always say, lets talk on the phone, or lets do this, or lets do that. And my boyfriend just sits there and say's "im kinda tired, how about tomorrow"... So I let it go. But it's been from the start he's been like this. I text him, our conversation ends short because he has nothing else to say to me. So I always have to come up with a new question or story to start talking about. And we barely talk on the phone because he doesn't like talking on the phone_ yet he says he likes talking to me. And, he NEVER asks if I wanna talk on the phone or even call me unnoticed. He never asks me how I'm doing, how my day went, how my weekend went, what I have planned... NOTHING. I ask him all about his family and his job and how he's doing but I can't get any in return. When we finally get on the phone, of course I'm the one to make the conversation. I hurt my leg badly the other day and not once yet did he ask me how my leg is, (its been 3 days) ... But when he's sick or hurt I check up on him always.. ALWAYS. I don't get it. he says he's just not talkative. But idk, it upsets me a lot because I love him to death, but I wish he would just talk to me and ask me about my life and what not. Like the other day he said to me "you know sign language? I wonder what else I don't know about you." And I'm thinking "if you talked to me more and actually got into that category side of me, then you would know"... I don't know what to do. Should I leave him? because this upsets me SO MUCH. and I feel like its not going to change. we've been through this numbers of times. I need advice... really. thanks.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh my dear... I think our bf's are related. Everything you said is what I have said to myself NUMEROUS times. Me and my boyfriend have been together 1.5 years. He HATES talking on the phone, he would rather text me. I too treat him like a king. If he is sick, I bring him medicine, make him tea, bring him the remote, put a blanket on him. I have a bad day and I barely get sympathy, infact... he will then tell me all about his day and he'll talk 20 min about his asshole boss. But like you no "how was your day"?. My work sent me on a day course at a local college. I texted him in the morning and said "i was in this course" he actually got a bit miffed cause why didn't I mention before? He was really confused about that... and I was like "well if you would have asked me how my day was or anything before now, I would have told you" but its mostly about his day, his loser roomate, his boss. But do I think he loves me.. yes. He at least tells me before bed, however I initiate it lol! But it still is frustrating, and like you I love my boyfriend to bits! But he is an Aries... and they do tend to be selfish... so I have read lol! I don't know what to tell you, I am telling you all this just to say some guys aren't talkers but they can still care about you. I recently read something, and it touched me, maybe you can relate to it too.

    "I Believe... just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all that they have". Take care

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    • but its like I don't ever see him, because he's been away for awhile.. And he just doesn't want to pick up the phone. And I mean, he never asks questions or keeps a conversation going.. and its hard for me. it really is. because I love him so much, but I just wish he'd at least act like he wants to be involved in my life. I don't get any of that from him unless I bring it out of him. and its frustrating because I'm the one always talking you know_ and I'd want someone to ask me questions too... sigh

    • I don't know what to say dear. Believe me I know its frustrating. Have you had the conversation with him, and it has to be face to face none of this text bs. I had this converation with my boyfriend MANY times. He hates it, rolls his eyes and gets defensive. But after a few days I start noticing that he is trying in baby steps but I do see it. Expect to get defensive and argumentative but if he stays that way and you notice no change after a few days, don't harp on it, let it go and wait for him

What Guys Said 2

  • It sounds to me like he is just not that into you. If you want to see if he does care or is interested in you then don't talk to him for a bit. Give him the cold shoulder for a few days or weeks and if he is interested in staying with you then he will call. If he doesn't then it may e time to move on. You wanting him to change will not change him. Give him a reason to want to change it.

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  • don't think to yourself saying if you talk to me more then... say it to him he needs to hear it, cos he needs to wake up...i thought he was shy but that's not shy, sounds more like depressed...sit him down and see how he feels about the relationship..however, its not too good for a guy to be too talkative but he has to ask how his girl is doing/feeling and give her some complements so she feels good about herself...where did you find this guy? did he actually bother to approach you? lol

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    • Haha yeah, he actually approached me and told me I was like really beautiful. And at first we clicked and like I love him a lot now and all but he juss doesn't talk much. But I bring it out of him sometimes. lol.. its like, if I don't talk, he gets mad. But I'm always like wow, you NEVER talk but you don't see me makin an argument about it.. Lol.. I told him that if I don't talk then we might as well should be mimes. and thts no fun. So he kinda opened up now.. :) and he actually thanked me for that..

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    • Totallyy.. :P && Thanks

    • ;) your welcome

What Girls Said 1

  • If he loves you, he would always want to be a part of your life.he wanting to know where you are,who you talk to, what you are doing,buying you gifts.Love is a passion that can't be hidden. If he loves you he can't hide it even quiet men express their feelings. so please be wise, uses your tongue to count your teeth.

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