Guys would you date a girl who had a child?

All up there..


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It really comes down to the context of the situation. I mean if I've known her for 5 seconds and she says: "Oh you should meet my daughter" it would probably way heavily on how I viewed her for a relationship.. But if we've been hanging out a while and she said something of the sort, and I liked her, then I'd feel like she appreciated having me in her life and that she trusts me.

    But the real "weight" of my decision would come from how she treats herself and her child. I'm not about to date someone so I can play father, nor am I going to date someone that neglects their child. When there is a third member involved it adds more areas to evaluate before coming to a conclusion on whether or not I would date them.. How the person behaved would determine how they would be treated -> If she smacks her child for drinking a soda, I'd probably be immensely turned off

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • I have a little girl she is 11 months. I was engaged to her father. There were major complications and I almost died, when I woke up the doctors told us I couldn't have any more children. My daughter is perfect though. My fianc?e wanted a big family, that's why we broke up. No nastiness just he wanted something different..

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    • Ach it was hard on everyone, he had plans and they didn't work out. I didn't want him to stay and resent me forever, so maybe it was a good thing. Maybe he wanted an excuse to leave and that's a good one.. Ha yea I guess every cloud and all that.. :)

    • Thanks ArtistBBoy, appericate your answers. There's hope then.. :)

What Guys Said 15

  • this is something I posted elsewhere here on the same question hope it helps you some

    for some reason I landed on this page with a lot of the same question as you've posted lol

    let me tell some don't mind at all , for example I'm one, my wife and I have been together now for 40 yrs. she had a 1 year old daughter at the time I met her 6 months latter we were married. had two more daughters . have 5 grandkids 4 boys and and a girl whose the youngest at present.

    i think what I put here says it all on your questions. you said you wanted honest answers why or why not ,below is just food for thought take it for what its worth but*ts from my heart.

    i know what I'm about to say on this is not popular thought in most girls in your age group (18-24)

    the next guy chose from a differenttype guy than what your ex: was.

    most likely he was one of the following types of a type.

    he was controlling

    maybe abusive word or physical

    cheated (which also includes lieing(sp))

    he was either a jock popular guy / badboy type / a player / or just a plain jerk all share some if not all of the above traits and more (negative type traits that is)

    well what type of guy should you choose then?

    well I was back in the 1960's girls would discribe me as "that nice sweet guy with the wavy hair"

    ya, I was one of those nice guys that got over looked in high school by girls because I had the nice guy qualities. and we all know how girls in the age bracket of (14-24) what they think and feel about nice guys .

    LOL ...

    but consider this girls/women by the time they reach 25 or older (some maybe younger if smart)

    realize that the nice guys weren't such a bad deal all along. most of these guys haven't as a rule changed one iota from when they were in high school.these women 25 and older also state on line and encourage younger women not to make the same mistakes they did and love their geeky nerdy sweet nice shy quiet guys to pieces

    yet its also a proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands ,and providers . also 95% of the time they do not cheat on their partners (they maybe at times cheated on but its rare)

    you ask for honest answers to your questions , these are I know pretty expliet answers and detailed to a degree. yet I posted my expierence on this and I am a nice guy which wound upo with a wonderful women to boot. is our life a fairy tale ...lol far from it we have our ups and downs in this relationship but we work them out.

    hopefully my post has been of some help to you make some wise choices this next time with a guy.

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  • Yes, but I probably have a different perspective to many who will / have answered.

    Partly its because I'm in a similar situation (single guy through early widower-hood bringing up two kids), so I know that interest in dating doesn't go away, and the situation you find yourself in and have to make the best of isn't an indicator of your character or abilities as some (fairly offensively) inferred below.

    Partly because I've had kids, and don't have a strong urge for more I'd be more tollerant to whatever family situation a new partner had than a younger guy who wanted to start a family he was the only father in.

    So in summay I think your field is a bit more limited than someone who was single at your age, but by no means empty or devoid of fun and interesting people who you could develop a new situation with.

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  • I wouldn't because I believe that the childs real father will always be a part of that childs life, and that I'd be nothing than an outsider to the family and it is in the best interest of the child that both parents stay together.

    Most single guys won't date single moms because they see it as irresponsible to have a child with another man, and they think that they will have to deal with the childs father or that they will be used as a wallet or that they or their children will be treated differently because of it which isn't fair to them or the children.

    Your situation is different to most and if you explained it, were no longer seeing your childs father at all, and got to know the person that you were dating then you still stand a good chance with most guys who want a relationship and a family.

    Did you and your fiance really look at all the alternatives like adoption and surrogacy?

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    • No we didn't surrogacy, it's not really available here where I live, we did however talk about adoption but he was not open to that, he would rather have children of his own. We see each other still as he is a very good father and very much a part of her life.

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    • No it's not really an option here, I'm not from the US, and while it's not illegal here, it's very complicated, there are a lot of laws in place which make it almost impossible. That relationship is over I know it, I've made my peace with it.

    • If that's what it came down to then you should stop seeing him, otherwise it's going to be very hard on any possible boyfriend with your Ex constantly in contact with you. I also hope that you've got child support because a child can get very costly on one persons income. I wish you good luck with dating.

  • it's not a dealbreaker

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    • Thank you, we had planned 2-3 also, it's a nice number right? I am lucky though I have a healthy baby girl. So just to clarify you wouldn't be into dating as no babies of your own? I kinda knew or had a feeling at least that would be people's response, I wanted to see was I wasting my time trying to date you know?

  • all down here... ready-made families intimidate men... I should say, intimidate dumb guys... lotsa men have families, with children they didn't make... I have dated plenty of single moms, mz. anonymous... most of em have such issues that will never allow them to really trust, love again. Sad but true... some use sex as a weapon, others will try to lord over the ones who try to bring life to their family... others will have the new guy, but still cling to their exes, family, whatever... this is exactly why lots of guys don't wanna be bothered with a single mom...

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    • I think I could trust again but I think I'd always feel grateful to him, and because of that I'd always be on the back foot.

  • If the child was not yet a complete impossible teenager, why not?

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  • No

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  • tough choice but depends on the guy -- the only girl I ever loved (or thought I did) was a single mom -- but at the end of the day I could not do justice to her or her son and be a father to him (and yes...still do love her (or think I do!) and think about her everyday.

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  • I admit, if that was revealed immeadiately it would be a turn-off. But if I found after awhile and I liked the girl, I could get over it because I would be bothered with the thought

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  • No.

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  • Sincd your between the age of 18 and 24 probably not. But you probably wouldn't want a college guy either so might not be the best opinion

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  • Yes if you are a good person and I am attracted to you.

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  • I don't think I would want to.

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  • nop, never ever I would date a girl who had a child! sorry!

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  • I did at one point. Problem is, she hid it from me for almost 2 months. I broke up with her for hiding it from me. Why? Because she wanted me to get emotionally involved, so when she broke the news, I would be more inclined to stick around. Not cool.

    Just make sure you are up front about it, like date #1.

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What Girls Said 1

  • some will don't worry too much about if they met you and liked you for you then they would accept your children and love them too

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