My ex EXCUSES her way out of hanging with me, but ALWAYS talks it up. what's going on with that?

She's my high school sweetheart and I'm hers but we hit a rough patch in our last six mos 2gether. We were ultimately broken up by my "so-called best friend" who started telling her I was cheating on and going to after hrs clubs doing drugs and w.e. the hell he could come up to get her to look at me with malice and skepticism. Despite the fact that all of it was Bullf***insh*t, she bought it like low price designer boots and I got the doghouse bfor getting the boot(the breakup phone call I mean, not the shoes she metaphorically bought lol). Now, 3 years later, I can't let the thought stay in my head that I should just move on, because I just cannot let it end that way. She was the first girl I ever loved, told I loved(Which came out of my mouth 1st a good 3 mos in) and the only girl I've ever been with that I didn't get sick of 3-4mos in. Head over heels in the hopelessly smitten department. The greatest love I ever had was completely Julius Caesar'd-killed by my closest friend. So she and I talk and of course she tells me every once in a while when I pry pry pry that her feelings on the subject are that she kinda hates me because of everything she was told but she still loves me and wants to be friends before going back down the road to relationship heaven.(my words, not hers lol). So this has been the running dialogue between us since 07 when we split. I have begged her to tell me what is keeping her from actually physically spending time with me and she never has a good answer other than she's busy with her life and that I'm probably busy with mine or that she's scared to do so.. But almost every other wk, whether I'm making her laugh over something random and stupid or we're just recapping the day she always always says, "We should hang out, I miss u". W/ not a single drop of follow-up. I'm going insane over here...what do I do? I love her so much but...well..epic fail kinda..what do I do?


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  • Just a side question first... have you dated other girls between 07 and recent? I'm assuming probably yes, though they probably didn't match up to her, right? And probably because you haven't completely gotten over her? I might be wrong but moving along...

    I think what you need to do, since it seems you two still talk on and off, is bring up the conversation one more time. Tell her that its time to make a decision. Let her know that you want her to know that whether she believes it or not, that things that were said in the past aren't true... how could they be? The fact that you've been head over heels over this girl for like 4 years now, shows that she couldn't have been replaced by some club girls and stuff. Tell her that whether she gives you a chance to redeem yourself to her or not, that you just want her to know that you've always cared and that you want everything to end on a good note. With that, you let her know that you want to move on because this has been a hard 3 years for you because you can't live knowing that she hates you. Tell her that you're sorry for anything that may be bothering her, but that its time for both you and her to move on. If she wants to give you a shot, then fine, if not, at least you will have ended the friendship on a more positive note. The truth of the matter is, you can't force her to trust you or believe that everything that was said about you was a lie... That is something that only she can do, and she has to be willing to do it herself. Your part is to simply try, and it sounds like you did more than tried. At this point, you don't want to get bogged down for the rest of your life over this girl. You'll need to make the conscious decision to move on and move forth with your life. Besides... what would a relationship be like with her if you knew she still had doubts or couldn't trust you completely? I think the best way to help you stay sane... is say sorry, end it on a good note (with having told her how you completely feel, as to not hide or hold anything back) and then say good bye. The rest is up to her and how she responds.

    Good luck with it all bro, keep your head up.

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