I want to back off a little bit. What's going through her head?

I met a girl at work. She seemed interesting, so we went out a few times (dinner, movies, bar, etc). We also spend a lot of time at her house, because she loves to cook food but rarely has anyone around to help her eat it. I think she's attractive, and I'm pretty sure she's attracted to me, but there's just no chemistry. We haven't done anything physical yet (not even hand-holding).

Now to me, this means we're just friends, and I'm okay with that. But from reading posts from women on this site, it seems that hanging out one-on-one with a guy is enough for women to become more interested. I can't picture anything happening between this girl and me, so it seems silly for us to hang out and talk all the time if that's just going to give her the impression that we are more than friends.

So, I want to back off a little bit, and maybe just see her in larger group settings so she doesn't get the wrong idea. What I want to know, though, is what's going through her head right now? Do you think she's already interested in me as more than friends? I told her over the weekend that I'd call her today so we could hang out, but I'm just not feeling it.

Should I give her the "I just want to be friends" talk? It doesn't feel necessary to me, but after reading this site I've realized I know nothing about how women feel. I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I also don't want to make things unnecessarily awkward.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hm I would just keep doing what you're doing until she shows some clear indications that she is interested in being being more than just friends. I mean, yes the one on one hanging out can be misleading for her if she is actually interested in you, but since you guys have done nothing more than just enjoy one anothers company there is no need to give her the "I just want to be friends talk" You might just ruin your friendship all together and make things seriously awkward. Unless she starts making some big moves, keep things between you two just as they are. :)

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What Girls Said 2

  • Sometimes there are women who need to have the man make the first mood. If she's shy, a lot of times they want the men to make the first move because they might be afraid of rejection. Maybe one time hinting, if you haven't said anything like it, "you look great today".Say it a couple times are so and see her reaction. A lot of times, her reaction will answer your question.

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  • Honestly, if ya'll haven't even held hands yet, she shouldn't think ya'll are more than friends. As a girl I prefer that guys are straight with me... so if you are wanting to hang out less you should tell her directly but break it to her gently. Reassure her you are still friends but you need to start hanging out with other friends also.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Why the hell are you calling her to hang out one on one if that is not what you want to do?!? Just stop calling her to hang out and only meet up in larger groups, not need to tell her anything unless she asks you

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    • Well, she's very pretty, which was enough for me initially to want to hang out with her and get to know her. Like I said, there's just no chemistry between us, so I don't want to take it further than friends. I just don't want to be accused of being hot and cold if I suddenly stop calling to hang out with her, or if I tell her I'm gonna call her and then don't.

    • the more you bullsh*t the deeper hole you are digging for yourself, if you didn't want to accused of being hot and cold you should have ended the date the first time you hung out with her and knew it was not going anywhere, and if you are not going to call her DON"T SAY YOU ARE

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