When do men mature and start getting serious about dating?

At what age do they quit acting like players and start wanting to settle down? jw


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Most Helpful Girl

  • some already in their twenties, some ten years later... but quite a lot never really! :)

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What Guys Said 22

  • Mr. nice guys are willing to settle down from an early age, but they seem too boring for majority of girls, :)

    he is shy & likes to chat to you but he can't...So either you go for the nice guy or kiss a lot of frogs until you catch a disease..:)

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    • Haha. I don't know why nice guys seem boring. Maybe they're just a bit too obvious about their feelings from the get-go. I haven't met a lot of nice guys lately though or guys in gen'l for that matter.

    • Because they are not entertaining enough for some I heard. well the problem is that they can't admit their feelings so I guess that would explain why they might not survive natural selection. However, it might just need some contribution from women...btw, you don't see males at all? how comes? you liv in an all female city?

    • No,lol. I do, but only in a work setting. I graduated from college months ago and haven't rekindled much of a social life since. Anyway, the guys at work are mostly a few years younger than me, and so I wouldn't classify them as either "nice" or "bad", just less mature.

  • mhmm you seem to think guys are all players, immature, and don't know what they want. sam can be said for girls. honestly at the age bracket we are in most EVERYONE doesn't know what they want, the girls are sluts and the guys are players. id say a slim percent know what they want and have ambitions and goals in their life.

    i know what I want, I'm leaving for the army in june, I have life goals and I have met a wonderful girl who is just as ambitious and is willing to work at our relationship unlike many girls my age. young girls aren't ready to settle down either, just because what science says about womens brains I swear I have seen some of the dumbest and most immature girls yet only a hadnful were worth talking to about adult topics. men and women aren't really that different.

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    • Yup.. seems someone had it rough when growing up?

      or you just like being mature?

      nice answer!

    • i wouldn't say rough id say it was a learning experience. there's comes a point in people lives where they are finally aware of things around them and they pay attention to things that cause drama in their lives. for me it started early because I had to grow up- maturity wise- early on

  • Ignoring what a crude generalization this question is...

    It depends upon the individual man, perhapse when he realizes the satisfaction of having a good solid, commited relationship, and the sense of security and comfort it provides.

    For what it's worth I have a coworker friend. who is only 22 he's been married to this girl for 2 years now, they have a child and those two are absolutely crazy about eachother.

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    • IMO, 22 is so young to be married, but apparently some people are just ready then. And quite honestly, it's a lot more difficult to meet someone you really click with once college is over.

    • I agree with you mcash this is a CRUDE generalization.

      Anyway, all guys are different. I don't like to play, it's just not for me. Not that I want to get married now but I'd rather a long relationship compared to many one night stands. Even if I meet a girl now and we stay together I don't plan on marrying her till I'm like 26 or so. Everyone has to have time to spread their wings and find who they.

  • A lot of guys on this website will disagree with me but men have to go through a playa stage before they can truly settle down. This doesn't mean they'll treat you badly but they have to soil their oats. I don't know if there's a specific age you can attach to this but I would say most men go through this earlier in life rather than later. Yes some men end up settling for various reasons but generally speaking those relationships don't last. It's similar to women going through an attention whore stage. Also keep in mind the avg woman matures quicker than the avg man. As far as "nice guys" go a lot of them act like pushovers and give into a woman's every demand and they couple that with being nice.

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    • Oh, well that sounds about right. My last brief relationship was with someone going through a "playa" stage. Goes to show what good it is to date someone younger than you. In any case, that's exactly what I was getting at when I asked this question. I don't want to be alone my whole life, and I would rather consider this now than wait until I'm settled in my career at 35 -- but the only available prospects are fat and bald.

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    • Yes, I am out of college.

    • jw, how come you're not looking? I can see that as a possibility, but I find it hard to stop looking

  • when we can't get the girls we want to date anymore!

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  • WHen you open your frigin eyes and stop going after thug punk wanabies!

    Seriously, I never was a player. I don't see why woman can't use their brain and see someone for who he is. I see girls chasing these immature teens all the time then cry because they arnt serious, then a mature guy comes around and they can't handle it.

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  • I actually want a relationship, a serious committed long-term one, but I would rather just have sex, a one-night stand, why? because relationships are a lot of f***in' work, well mainly for us guys

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    • They are a lot of work. I spent many years fantasizing about getting into one, and when I finally did, I realized just how stressful it can be. A good relationship shouldn't be a lot of work in the beginning though. But now I'm not going to put as much effort into seeking one out just because I have a more realistic view of what is involved. There is no real closeness or intimacy involved in ONS, but perhaps that's not what you're looking for.

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    • Not always. I picked wherever we went to dinner with my last short relationship. Guess we know why it was short-lived.

    • he wanted to make the decisions? weird

  • most men I would say by the time they are in high school but the girls don't go for most men they go for a very select few.

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  • Usually by age 40.

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  • its not about only becoming mature, but also being ready. Just like some others artists who used their time to get far, I've never had time to think about girls up to this age, and now I'm just thinking to start going out to meet girls or women. men are always mature, the men who are not mature are called boys.

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    • It's ironic. In college, I was boy crazy. Now that I'm nearing the age at which it is appropriate to be serious about the opposite gender , I'd rather focus on other things.

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    • I do not lack confidence so much as you are condescending.

    • she told me the same thing you say, that she does not consider herself young at 24.

      If I hear another girl saying the same thing, I'll have to change my girlfriend every 5 years because I will always consider myself young. lol

  • Thing is, you're much more likely to notice "players" then regular guys. You most likely have not met many of the latter - hence this question. Frankly, you're missing out on a lot of guys just because they might not know how to approach you or play the game (irony!).

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    • I see. Players are certainly more conspicuous because they have no qualms about approaching people and making small talk. Now that I have *a little* experience, I see that the drawbacks outweigh the gains when dealing with a player, and I would rather put up with a little awkwardness and quirkiness with a good guy.

  • When they get really lazy, get a substantially lower sex drive or are one of those 'nice guys' that hides their true desires and is more in touch with their 'sensitive' side. Guys will always try to have sex with as many women as possible, it's a natural animal instinct for survival/replication

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    • jw, which of those guys are you?

  • when the right one comes along. It is different for everyone. I would say the avg is probably 27-30

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    • But it's also possible that it's someone you have been friends with for a few years, right? And the timing is finally good for both of you. j/w. hypothetical scenario.

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    • respect for you to change themselves because they care for you & they want it to work. If that applies and/or makes sense

    • Kind of. I find what you said useful, but I think the dynamic of your response changed more than did the dynamic of my question. I was just thinking of an example in which a friendship b/t a man and a woman was taking an extra long time (years) to develop into a meaningful relationship.

  • Sadly some guys never get that way. I, personally would skip all the "playing" and settle.

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  • I'm different so I'm up for a serious relationship whenever my partner's ready for one.

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  • We are serious whenever you guys ar not. Meaning that usually teenage years and then when you guys finally get serious we use it ton our advantage and take out turn playing games just like you did in highschool

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    • Since when do guys not play games in high school?

      You know, the ones that are all like "Oh, I'm in love you, so let me in your pants... OOPS. You're pregnant. Seeya never!"

    • guys should stop thinking with their penises when they're in their 20s and do it instead when they're in their 30s. that way, they're married already and can give it all to their wives.

  • I've never acted like a player or anything like that. I prefer having one girl that I know I can trust without second guessing it and someone I can be myself around.

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    • Aw, that's a good way to be. I'm sure you're a very nice guy. It is rare to find guys like you.

    • I just want to stay true to myself and be me. I don't care what people think about me. Sadly some people just don't see what they have until they've lost it.

    • i don't really understand what that last sentence had to do with this post, but true dat.

  • Not all do for one. I still surely don't want to settle down. I still want to travel the world some and visit places. I'm not much for family life and all that stuff. lol

    I'm serious about dating though, but I'm not going to get married anytime soon. It's nice to have a girlfriend there to care about your life and sh*t. What your doing, so on. Feel loved I guess is the way to put it? lol If she ever talks about marriage though, well I'm sorry, but it's just not my thing. Probably shouldn't be with me if that's what she wants. lol But I don't think it is, I think it's just my penis. Right now at least. :P hahaha

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  • Same age when girls stop being self-absorbed princesses

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    • Damn... you've met one?!

      lol

      then if its according to you, the you goes have a switch from maturing and going childish?

      i've known the kind you say and I've met really old ones (she was 33!)

    • hey what about you post a question and enter that part:

      "I've met really old ones (she was 33!)"

      I just want to have a good laugh when all the "old" women get all upset. Can you do that for me please? please? please ? lol

  • Only most good looking guys never mature and get serious about dating. They stay as players til they die. I'm 22 and have been serious about dating ever since I was 12.

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    • it's sad to hear that good-looking ones are always players. I kind of believe that, although I'm sure some are the exception.

  • I've always wanted a serious relationship but girls were just never into that so here I am at 23 never having had a girlfriend. In hind sight in my earlier years I should have done like the rest of the people I know and just gone out looking for sex and see if it turns into something after the sex.

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    • Well, you probably saved yourself a lot of heartbreak and eliminated the possibility of contracting an unwanted STI. In fact, I'm one of those people you mention, and now I'm miserable because of it. haha.

    • It feels a lot worse knowing your not wanted by women.

    • Just keep putting yourself out there and be open to trying different strategies if some prove inefficient. You just never know.

  • When do girls want to stop playing games and waiting for the next best thing to come along? Answer that. This is one of the many reasons why guys today don't settle down, because women are nuts.

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    • Not all of us. (X

    • I beg to differ. My ex wanted to "change" me... basically wanted to make me the center of her attention.. complained when I'd go party with friends, etc.. but in all reality basically was just using me to get herself known.

    • Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. And I'm sure it wasn't all black and white the way you describe it.

What Girls Said 6

  • what does being mature have to do with "settling down"? I know plenty of guys who aren't players who are immature as sh*t. I've known married men who are incredibly immature. I hope you can fathom the idea that immaturity in relationships might b e one factor that contributes to our lovely, high divorce rate. I guess in some cases it's true, but you can be mature as a person and simply not want a conventional, traditional lifestyle of "settling down" in a monogamous deal. Expand your mind.

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    • Thanks for your input. I like that more worldly way of thinking.

  • Probably more around 3o ish.

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  • there isn't really a time limit, its what happens in that time that makes all the difference. some people never change sadly.

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  • lol, never. and some at like fifteen. all boys are different. they're just like women with more hidden emotions, and cocks.

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  • I think around 30...

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    • lol. I just don't understand why guys don't yearn for affection the way we women do.

    • *shrug* guys do in all honesty, it just works differently.

      b/c for a guy you become very aware of a very basic dynamic: you go looking for a relationship or affection, things turn to sh*t Verrrry quickly.

      you go out and just care about yourself and get tail for fun, things don't go to sh*t. so eventually you learn to be a bastard and have your fun

      then yea about at 30 or so you learn how to act to attract a wife (all idealistic romantic BS aside) because you want stability and children

    • So what are you looking for as a 30 year old - a good girl, a bad girl, or someone in between? lol

  • i think mid 20's

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    • yeah? jw what made you come to that conclusion. did your boyfriend wizen up at 25?

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