Guys, what are pros and cons of dating a girl who is a mom?

of dating a girl who is a mom? or what are downfalls.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • did it for 7 years total. dated for 6 and was married for the last year. I gave them my all and she just waited her time and left me for a rich executive a year after we married. the problems with it are tendency to still mess with babys father. they sometimes want to cherry pick your involvement with the child if things get serious. (meaning that they want to bring you in as a father/husband but you never really have true input on child raising, so your hands are tied behind your back with the child no matter what they do or how much you know a situation is wrong) the childs real dad could be a crack head and you could have poured your heart and soul into raising that child and in the end despite the lovely stories you see on t.v. that child will still think their dad is great and that you are just some other guy. you can't ever do what you want to do because its all about the kid, 24/7...yet she don't want you going out and having fun without her, so while all your friends are doing whatever, you are sitting there with her and the kid everyday. you lose touch with your own family cause you have to constantly be with her and the kid. her family usually helps out with the kid so that tends to be the circles you stay in if you want to see her and the kid. sorry to bust anybodys bubble but that how it is with all my friends dating a girl with a kid and that's how it was for the 7 years I did it.

    are there exceptions? yes. but lets keep it real, this is why so many guys shy away from it and have for so long. these are not new problems and have been around since the beginning of man and woman and relationships. we can try to sound all cute and give a greeting card answer on here but at the end of the day, the truth is the truth.

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What Guys Said 3

  • there are a lot of pros the only negative would be that some guys worry that the gal may still have feelings for the ex. in ways. below is something I posted on another question similar to this one but applicable here as well . its sort of long but may help you.

    for some reason I landed on this page with a lot of the same question as you've posted lol

    let me tell some don't mind at all , for example I'm one, my wife and I have been together now for 40 yrs. she had a 1 year old daughter at the time I met her 6 months latter we were married. had two more daughters . have 5 grandkids 4 boys and and a girl whose the youngest at present.

    i think what I put here says it all on your questions. you said you wanted honest answers why or why not ,below is just food for thought take it for what its worth but*ts from my heart.

    i know what I'm about to say on this is not popular thought in most girls in your age group (18-24)

    the next guy chose from a differenttype guy than what your ex: was.

    most likely he was one of the following types of a type.

    he was controlling

    maybe abusive word or physical

    cheated (which also includes lieing(sp))

    he was either a jock popular guy / badboy type / a player / or just a plain jerk all share some if not all of the above traits and more (negative type traits that is)

    well what type of guy should you choose then?

    well I was back in the 1960's girls would discribe me as "that nice sweet guy with the wavy hair"

    ya, I was one of those nice guys that got over looked in high school by girls because I had the nice guy qualities. and we all know how girls in the age bracket of (14-24) what they think and feel about nice guys .

    LOL ...

    but consider this girls/women by the time they reach 25 or older (some maybe younger if smart)

    realize that the nice guys weren't such a bad deal all along. most of these guys haven't as a rule changed one iota from when they were in high school.these women 25 and older also state on line and encourage younger women not to make the same mistakes they did and love their geeky nerdy sweet nice shy quiet guys to pieces

    yet its also a proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands ,and providers . also 95% of the time they do not cheat on their partners (they maybe at times cheated on but its rare)

    you ask for honest answers to your questions , these are I know pretty expliet answers and detailed to a degree. yet I posted my expierence on this and I am a nice guy which wound upo with a wonderful women to boot. is our life a fairy tale ...lol far from it we have our ups and downs in this relationship but we work them out.

    hopefully my post has been of some help to you make some wise choices this next time with a guy.

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  • It does add drama to the relationship. Especially if the father is a nutcase or something. Plus, if the kid gets attached to the guy and then the relationship fails it can be traumatic for a young kid. Even more so if they remember their father leaving.

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  • Too much drama. Having to take care of a kid that isn't my own. The fact that she still probably has feelings for the guy even if he's gone since her kid is a constant reminder of that guy and the akwardness of the guy wanting to visit and see his kid and wanting you out of the picture.

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    • k. I didn't know how the felt. I haven't dated since I had my son so I didn't know what it'd be like.

    • sorry. I know that's probly not what you wanted to hear. Its just my honest feelings.

    • i needed the honest truth. haha. to see how its gonna be. I'd rather know the truth then going about it blind.

What Girls Said 1

  • Not all guys feel that way. I am a mom of three beautiful girls, and I have not found a lot of guys who have problems with it as long as you are honest with them. Hint to the guys we are not looking for a father for our child(ren). Hope this helps.

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