I moved and dumped my best friend from high school.. BUT now she is hanging with all my friends and family!!

I've known this girl since high school. and we got really close afterward when we both moved to different places and started talking all the time on the phone. when she finished college she moved in with me in Cali, and... she was a pain in the ass. she didn't like my friends, didn't like to drink and hangout, she would put me down and talk to me like sh*t in front of others, and the worst part to me is she lied to me... about things I would consider serious, because while I am opening up to her about myself... thinking she is doing the same... come to find out... she told me she lied about this... then told me the truth... then a month or two later told me the real truth. breaking points were when she had her college friends come visit and she said they wouldn't like me. I thought that was low since I introduced her to all my peeps. then I moved for a job and we kinda stopped talking. I was so broke, I was living on couches and had no car, but I got my income taxes and since I was staying at her place for a bit I loaned her $500 which she was gonna pay back and never did. I did owe her like $700 from her covering my rent for a few months... BUT... she kept telling me she didn't have money to hangout or anything... then come to find out... she took a week trip with her college friends and went up the coast to Seattle and never even mentioned it to me.

so... I move because I finally got laid off, had no place to live, and no car. now that I left... I decided... she isn't a true friend to me. I feel like she used me and is a liar, and she's just not even a decent friend in my opinion. well now that I am gone... she is hanging with my friends... going to lunches and parties. she is also driving over an hour to hangout with my family. and I am pissed because they are hanging with her, but a lot I hadn't told I didn't like her anymore. I honestly thought once I stopped talking to her shed go do her own thing... but I feel like she is trying to take over my life.

am I crazy? I've written my fam off and yelled at them because I don't understand y they are talking to her! they say I am more important than her to them, but... I just don't see what's going on. I feel like... since I'm not her friend... she needs to stop talking to my people!

what do you think. because I'm about to call one of my friend and give her the ultimatum of either you want to b my friend or hers. I'm mad because I'm moving back to Cali for school... and I really don't want this ex friend in my life at all or for her to know about me. so I am literally to the immature pick sides... which this has been 6 months since I stopped talking to her, and it took her 6 months to even contact me to talk about it. and I never listened to her voice mail, because at this point I don't care what she has to say.

i need some input. like literally... I want her to just go away and do her own thing, but I feel like... I'm going to have to cut anyone who likes her out of my life or make them pick since she is obviously not going to just go away.

Updates:
**** I see people are reading but not commenting... PLEASE let me know what you think. this is me cutting ties with friends and family members... and I would like input on it!
i don't like I am making people pick either, but I also don't understand why it is even 2 this point? I didn't know these people were hanging out and stuff til recently. I feel like... every1 wants to b my friend. but theyve all been secretive. I want 2 give up

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that in a few years you will be mature enough to laugh at what you wrote today and you will be ashamed at the ultimatum you presented FAMILY and FRIENDS.

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    • well you know the more I think about it... I'm really thinking its better to just delete them all. they all honestly seem like toxic people in my life.

      if I delete them all... out of sight and out of mind will be much easier. and I have a ton of friends... and this isn't my best friend. my real best friend I met in college has never liked the other girl and only was civil because she knew I liked her. I'm more mature than you think.

    • Friendship with you means one thing? Not being friends with someone else?

      Those who are friends with her are toxic?

    • no the thing is... these people told me she was toxic. they said... you know what... she doesn't talk to you right. she doesn't treat you right. this girl needs to chill out. but you guys have known each other forever. like because I've known her so long it should be okay that she talks to me and treats me like I am treated. the thing is. I am not happy. when I read or see or hear about them liking her... it upsets me. so in order to not b upset... if they are going to like her; and it upsets me. I let go

  • Oh man, that really stinks. I don't think there's much you can do apart from what you wrote. I would make a list of all the people involved, family included, and decide exactly which ones are absolutely necessary in my life. I would try to explain them that she's a bitch and that you really wish they didn't hang out with her. As for the rest of the list, I wouldn't bother with them, just cut your losses and move on.

    The family thing is the worse I can't believe they did that to you. To them I would definitely give an ultimatum. If they can't choose their own son, then f*** them. I don't know about giving an ultimatum to your friends, I don't know if it would work as they may turn against you, so use that only as last resort.

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    • yea that's how I have felt... like at first with my family... I didn't really talk about... I didn't want to turn it into a huge thing and turn everyone against her... BUT... I didn't think she would b talkin to them and driving to see them... I did not forsee this! I am definitely giving the family the... delete her or delete me. As for the friends, people who are our aquaintances can have her, but anyone who is suppose to be close to me. like this one girl in particular. I'm gonna tell her 2 end it

    • Yeah, I don't see what else you can do. Best of luck.

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