WHY oh why do guys respond to intentional no contact?
I'm sure you've all heard of the "no contact rule."
I was dating this kid Alex and we only went out twice on the weekend, no biggie. So he would text me every single day throughout the week and not even mention hanging out again. So I just stopped replying to his texts, for like 4 days now. And now he all of a sudden sends me a picture message of himself (not pervy) and adds a :) as the caption.
Wtf? Why do guys always, 100% of the time respond to no contact? Especially when it's intentional. It's me saying buzz off loser.
What's Your Opinion?
Most Helpful Opinion
Is that why girls ignore? I deleted some girls for that sh*t..lol..and they called me rude..how am I suppose to know? I thought they didn't want to be friends, honestly.
Listen prity girl, we guys are direct, we don't know about all this prearranged sh**y rules that you girls create between yourselves...let guys know your busy/not interested (or about all these rules)...it was not a biggie for you but it was for that poor guy, that why he keeps coming forward...you have to tell him in "words"...not indirect communication...if you don;t like him then tell him, he will go to another girl. (guys communicated directly not indirectly)
I think all them indirect rules are stupid, cos it causes a lot of misunderstandings.
Can you list all the rules please, thanks.
What Guys Said 18
He's just trying to get to know you and space out the amount of times he wants to hang out with you, especially since he is just getting to know you, he doesn't want to go for Date 3 right away and lose all the mystery. All guys will go out with you once, and then for a couple days after that just shoot the sh*t with you on the phone, its wrong for you to think they are losers because of that.
I do however, think the picture of him with a smile was complete douche baggy, and just for that this guy should lose a few brownie points.
Also agree with Marciano, girls play way more mind games than guys and if a guy seems like a head trip to figure out, its probably his reaction to something you did or said based off your indirect perception of what's going on. For instance, if I was in Alex's shoes, I wouldn't know why you are not responding back but I'd probably stop texting you and move on, then you'd be like, why the f*** he stop texting? But the real issue would be the fact that you never contacted because you didn't like the fact that I didn't ask you out again, so women need to stop with the indirect sh*t and just be like "hey, so when we down to hang out again?" you know then he would have been like, oh snap, this saturday,
because you're STILL leading him on...not ALL guys are like this - some have lived long enough to understand what happens whena girl doesn't respond, some unfortunatly dont...
you haven't given him ANY reason to NOT text you...ok you don't respond, so what? that doesn't mean he has no idea you don't want him to do this...what I don't understand is HOW you girls think that by just ignoring you think the guys going to just stop - don't get me wrong I would get the point and I've been through this to understand to just cut contact if the girl ever just stops for no reason...but you cannot ASSUMEEEEEEEE I repeat you cannot ASSUME he's going to think that just because you aren't responding doesn't meant he can't text you...you gave him your number and he is free to text you - even if you aren't responding...
but please also understand I get where you are coming from - I don't understand sometimes too - its like um hello she isn't responding or initiating contact so just stop...but some guys just don't get it - why? I have no idea - but when they don't you need to be forward with him and tell him straight up...
What do you mean 100% of all the time?. I think that is a huge misconception, that to me doesn't work. Usually when a girl does must of the time I think "Ohhhh this girl is playing games AGAIN like they always do, damn it I really hate that, she is probably really insecure and wants to manipulate me, that's too bad cause I really liked her...".
In your case though it is obvious that he still contacts you, you had a nice convo all the time, you would go out and what not and suddenly you stop talking to him? Off course he will keep contact you, you can't expect him to read your mind and get the "hint" that you don't like him anymore.
"His mindset is being clingy/needy/desiring.
So there is a not thinking about you mentality and simply him.
The greatest worth is self-mastery.
Tough luck darling."
This was downarrowed in my earlier answer...so I'm going to explain. Sorry I couldn't use a comment box, but this might end up lengthy.
"Actions speak louder then words"
They have only gone out twice, but he has texted her every day through the week.
WHY would someone do something like that? Its not like they are in a relationship already.
Yet he desires or needs her attention for his own agenda.
Hence, he is thinking about himself and not about that she has her own life.
Personally, I don't date. I simply go to places that interest me and invite the female along. If she doesn't come, no big deal, because I'm already going to a place that I'll enjoy anyway. Now after the date, if I enjoyed it, of course I'm going to tell her.
"Hey I've been on bad dates before and this definitely wasn't one of them, lets do this again sometime."
Something along those lines. But hey I'm busy. I'm not going to make plans right then and there. So I'm going to text her say two days later.
"Hey funny looking. What's going on? Lets head out to the cabaret this Sunday :)"
Now, I'm not going to bug her if she does not text me back.
If she had a good time from before, she will come with me.If she is busy, then she will let me know. I will in no way send her another text. She is a big girl, if she forgets to text me then she must be busy with her own life. That is fine. There was not enough of a connection during the date for her to make her interested in responding. Good for me to know, and so therefore I move on.
This is my own mindset. I know that. But it seems to make pretty good darn sense to me.
Hmm...did I miss anything? Any questions?
I don't know what the "no contact rule" is, but if someone ignores me, I'm going to get curious, then frustrated, then furious. Ignoring me is the worst move someone can possibly make with me, and I will not stop until they give me a reason for doing so. If it's acceptable, we'll be fine. If it's not, I'll break off all contact with that person for the rest of my life.
In other words, I find it extremely rude when people ignore me. Just tell me if you don't want to talk.
You're going to blow him, just because he didn't reply to your text for 4 days? WOW...
Because you are being too subtle. From his perspective, it could be anything- you're busy, you don't feel like talking, you don't want to be with him anymore. He doesn't know so his response is to keep trying until he knows otherwise. Stop being subtle and be upfront with him. If you don't want to be dating him anymore, then say so.
I'll usually give it a week. Sometimes things happen and people get busy. Plus I often mass text. I'll be at work and have nothing to do, I'll text everyone on my phone list a generic message to try and pass time. If after 3-4 days I don't hear from somebody, I might send something like "hey, everything alright?" especially if it's a change in behavior from before. If I still get nothing back after a couple days, I'll probably be a little confused. After all I don't understand the no contact rule unless you are REALLLLLYYYY attached to somebody. If you are heartbroken and just can't move on, no contact makes sense.
But if it's some person I only known for a little while, maybe dated some, I would just tell them straight out. After all, what does it matter what they think?
You only went out twice on the weekend, no biggie, right? So what are you doing with the "no contact rule"? The no contact rule is for YOU, when YOU can't get over a guy but realize it needs to be done. It's not to reject some guy you've dated a couple times. That's just rude.
Tell him you aren't interested anymore, and he should not bother, if that's how you feel.
girls have all these weird rules and subtleties that they operate by and guys do NOT get it. We like it when you are straightforward with important things. Not only does dropping hints not work, some guys actively ignore that behavior because they feel like it is disrespectful. They feel like if you can't say something to their face(and in a respectful manner, ie: no namecalling or being facetious) then it isn't worth saying.
So, to reiterate: be direct, in regards to important or serious things. Hints, subtle messages, and unspoken rules are not taken seriously by guys and often sends them the message that you are playing a game rather than sending a clear message.