Online dating site first email to a girl...review please

This is what I wrote on an online dating site as a first hello email to a girl. tell me what you reckon?

"Hi,

This may sound quite aggressive or forward but you have the sweetest profile and I'd love to start up a conversation some time. There! I said it : )

And congratulations for the new job. I've always been interested in mental health (which is partly why I'm writing this). Will you be serving on an acute or chronic ward? I volunteered in november on an acute ward...so eye opening.

Anyways, date isn't exactly the easiest way to say but I thought I'd give it a go :)

I just hope when girls say they want a guy to be open, direct and simply say "hi", they were speaking for everyone.

Don't be a stranger,

Danny x"

Updates:
wow, I just came back on this site after a while and checked out this old question of mine...soooooo weak :) I've gained so much confidence since then. that was so pathetic and needy and just way too much.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i would loose the agressive or foward part. it doesn't go with the rest of your message. and the part were you said "I just hope when girls say they want a guy to be open, direct and simply say "hi", they were speaking for everyone" it makes you sound like you are just going by what every other girl thinks, and if I was getting that message it would look to me like you have tried really hard to learn about the dating experience, which makes it sound like you might of had dating problems.

    also, the x after your name would make me feel like your trying too hard and overdoing flirt.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 3

  • Okay, first impression? Weak.

    You start off by saying it might sound aggressive or forward, but it's the saccharine sweet mush after that.

    And don't have a line like "I hope when girls say x..." The "I hope" makes you sound unsure of yourself.

    If you get to meet with the girl, try to portray a bit more confidence in yourself. Like she should lucky to get a chance to date you, not that you're lucky to go out with her.

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  • As an exercise, how would write a first hello email to the same girl now?

    Just a thought...

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    • i'd...

      A) not tell her that I really like her and or suggest we get a conversation going. making acquaintences shouldn't be that mechanical.

      B) I'd start the conversation on something I picked up from her profile about her

      C) I'd base it around getting her opinion on the subject and make the question open ended, not a single answer or Y/N.

      D) I'd put in a bit of humour, usually in the question I ask "is that your name or are you a robot miss 84990-3857?"

      D) it wouldn't be as long.

    • All good points. :)

  • You shouldn't of said sweetest profile , she will think your a loser.

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    • I'll be honest mate, I couldn't care less what guys have to say on this one. But thank you for your thoughtful wisdom :)



    • I coudn't care less about this question.

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