Guys: Would you want to be present at birth of your child?

^ I mean in the room seeing EVERYTHING when the baby comes?

I myself will not let my husband be in the room with me at all, its a thing in my family that the women come in for support and the guys can wait outside.. I do NOT want him seeing me in that situation and I won't budge on that. Either he waits outside of his own choice or I get someone to make him! lol The only people id want there is maybe my mum but probably my best friend.

I think many guys would be fine with that too, but some now want to be there.

So what would you prefer?

  • To watch the birth
    88% (14)86% (12)87% (26)Vote
  • To come in after the birth
    12% (2)14% (2)13% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'd definitely want to be there. It is something that we did together, and I would want to be there when my son or daughter enters the world, not be the eighth or later person to know. It's a situation to handle with tact and grace, but I can handle it, and I'd love to handle it because I love her.

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    • its me I'm afraid of not being able to handle it :/ lol

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    • lol I don't know but the fact you use 101 dalmations as your source made me giggle :) but yeah it is kinda like that in my family. and I mean in my family all us women are very close friends and it wouldn't be weird in my family to have other female relatives present and the father to be outside with the other male relatives. I think I just come from one of those weird families I guess

    • Whatever you two agree on, I'm sure will be fine. I would simply find myself dragging my feet a lot more on it. Part of it may even be that I want to be where things are going on, where the action is, but I know that it is something I want to share with her, not find out a little later.

What Guys Said 11

  • My primary concern would be making sure the whole situation was as low stress as it could possibly be for her. If that meant being with her the whole time, I'd be there. If that meant waiting in the lobby, I would do that. As much as I would want to be there when it happens, her well being is more important to me than my own.

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  • It would be her call, but if I'm in for fatherhood, I'm in for all of it--no picking and choosing the fun parts.

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    • thats a great attitude to have :)

  • I wanted but wasn't allowed to: Caesarean section.

    I had to wait outside.

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    • id prefer to have a caesarean

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    • You weren't allowed in? Did they give you a reason?

    • They didn't give a specific reason but that was perfectly logical: over here non medical personnel isn't allowed in the operating room and everyone knows it. About the delivery room they're less strict of course.

  • I saw my daughter born and it was amazing (although that salty smell is something else.) You shouldn't kick him out, especially since this is the culmination of the burden you've carried for 9 months and he can at least be involved in that part. However, don't make your other children watch. When I was too young to know better I saw my little brother be born. Yuck. Get the hell outta my mind!

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    • lol.. well this is my first. and to be honest I'm really freaked out still and even though its great obviously, I get so scared at times, and I really feel like if he sees me in that state he's going to look at me differently forever more and I'll always be that much more unattractive to him. I've always been one of those women that has wanted a child but at the same time the idea of it growing inside me gives me the creeps too. lots of mixed emotions happening here lol

    • Despite other comments here I don't think your reaction is uncommon. However, seeing the pain of child birth is a really great reminder of what you have gone through. He can respect that and love you more BECAUSE of it, or be the type of guy who thinks boobs are just for fondling and women should always look their best. I don't know him.

    • no he's really great and I know the amount of respect he has for me as well as love, which does make me feel bad for feeling the way I do. its all so confusing! but thank you for the reassurance

  • I wasn't allowed to "see everything" during my wife's C-Section. They had a sheet between me and what they were doing. I tried to stand up to take a peek and I was quickly commanded to sit down or get out. But my wife never had any real surgery before (I'm a veteran at that) so she was afraid so I stayed by her head and offered constant reassurance. As for you being sticky about him waiting outside, it's not the modern thing to do. Don't be afraid of him seeing you in any way shape or form because if he loves you that much to have a baby with you, then he will accept you in any situation you happen to be in. Otherwise, make sure he knows your wishes way ahead of time and not just "oh, by the way" because he won't be too thrilled.

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  • Wow...insecurity to a whole new level.

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    • maybe it is insecurity, but its the way I've been raised and its the way births happen in my family. maybe its old fashioned or whatever but that's normal to me. I've been there for family members giving birth but always the husbands have waited outside. ..and yes, being pregnant is incredibly scary and it has brought on a lot of insecurities, or made bigger ones that I already had. so who are you to judge me?

    • People judge all the time,its what makes us human. Tradition(?) if you'd like to call it that but I can only speak for myself when I say I'd like to see the miracle that is life, the moment may only come once or twice in my lifetime so why would I wanna miss out

    • thats fair enough, but what if you're woman did feel differently to you, would you just ignore her requests altogether?

  • I'd want to be there. It's a once in a lifetime moment. The first moment. I'd want to see it.

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    • yeah I get you're point of view. how do you think you'd feel is your lady asked you to wait outside? if you knew it was a big deal to her?

    • She'd be too pumped full of drugs to even know I was there. :)

    • lol.. well I have extreme phobia of needles. I was 13 last time I had to come into contact with one and ended up the whole afternoon with a nurse because I started hyperventilating and feinted ... and I've always had a bad relationship with doctors and hospitals. I think there are all these things making me panic at the prospect I'm going to be around them a lot, before I even get to the actual baby! lol

  • I can't say I would want to "watch" it happening, but there's no way I wouldn't be there for my girl when she needed me most. I would be right there next to her to her, at least as her comfort through that difficult process.

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  • Wow you're mean. I hope he leaves you for someone who isn't such a self centered, man-hating bitch.

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    • i can't believe you just said that... I love him to pieces and he loves me. wow that comment almost made me cry... I'm obviously not the only woman that feels this way. I do not mean to come across as what you described, I'm just saying that to me him actually seeing me give birth is a really daunting thought and I want my mum and friend to support me then and him to come in right after

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    • thank you so much Evangelina :)

    • I love women. I just hate bitches, and a woman who is more concerned with looking good for her man than with allowing her man to be with her during what is one of, if not the, most important days in their relationship, strikes me as a self-centered bitch.

  • I assisted in the birth of my nephew when my sisters husband could not be there. It was an experience I would not have missed. Magical and spiritual and all that kind of stuff. WOW, I'd do it again.

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    • but obviously your relationship with your sister and with your wife/girlfriend are very different. the whole ordeal might be different from one to the other?

    • No, don't think so. (And I don't think that the word "ordeal" fits the situation).

  • I would like to be by her side while it's happening, but I don't want to see any crowning.

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    • see that for me would make me uncomfortable. id want my best girl friend holding my hand and my guy to come in when the dramas over

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    • i understand you feeling that way. its hard because I feel bad knowing he probably would like to be there, but then he knows how I feel about it and that I get upset about it (im emotional anyway.. god help the guy now I'm even more hormonal lmao.. he's so good with moody me lol). id want him to be in and holding his baby right away after, but I can't help but feel because of it being a vulnerable time I wouldn't want him to see me like it. maybe its because of the type of person I am ...

    • ...i like staying in control and this is possibly the one time I cant

What Girls Said 5

  • From what I have known and been told from some men that being there for the birth of their child was one of the most amazing things! And they saw how hard and the struggle their wife, girlfriend went through and loved them more and respected them more for seeing the selflessness and pain they went through, although it is all worth it in the end but it really is up to the person. good luck on your birth! and here is somethng to remember your husband loves you for better or worse through the good and bad and this is a remarkable experience that both of you should be apart of! he was there to help make this gift! why not when this baby comes into this world!

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  • I've heard this is a pretty common feeling among women who are expecting, so there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you feeling this way. HOWEVER, you have to think of him. Yes it will be awkward, yes it won't exactly be a sexy moment, but it IS his child & you were both together to make it so you should be together to finish it off. You don't want the first person to hold it to be someone other than him, that's a special moment. Plus, he won't get to cut the cord if they will let him. And you'll want his support, his support is a support no one else can replace

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    • thanks for understanding. I've got a while to the birth still yet to feel better about things anyway.

  • I would want my partner there. He knows me better than any other person in the world---he knows how to support me, comfort me, encourage me; he's seen me at my best and my worst. I trust him more than any of my friends or family members, actually.

    Further, it's the birth of *our* baby. I know he would want to be there with me through all of it.

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  • I wouldn't really want him to see me like that, yeah. But I suppose if he insisted on it I couldn't just tell him no. It is, after all, his child too.

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    • yeah I know what you mean. I don't want to make him feel bad, but I need him to know having him come in after makes me more relaxed and comfortable. so if he was insisting, he's equally putting pressure on me to do something, that at a quite stressful time, I'm going to be worrying about.

  • men like to be there for their for their woman when she is vulnerable!

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    • i know, but I'm one of those stubborn women that doesn't like to admit I have a vulnerable side... lol I have to laugh.. sounds silly, but I'm so independent and strong as a women I have to admit being vulnerable scares me. I'm not a feminist but I don't like to appear weak. I love him to bits and I guess I do and don't want him there all at the same time. I honestly find pregnancy the hardest thing ever! I envy every woman that seems to just take to it and loves it.

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