How to discourage my sister from dating?

Hi all

How do I discourage my 15 year old sister from dating? I have asked her if she was together with a guy and she denied it. However, I later found out she was indeed with a guy.

I want to discourage her from dating. My reasons are:

1) I do not want her to be taken advantage of

2) She needs to focus on her studies

3) I would prefer her to make a lot of friends (both male and female) instead of restricting her social circle to only this boyfriend

I know that some people may say that I am attempting to restrict her freedom, but my argument is that

1) She is still young. She has plenty of time to date in the future, why the urge to date now? I want her to grow up and be more mature and prepared physically and mentally first before dating, Also, at this young age, I want her to widen her social circle and make lots of friends instead of being romantically involved with a guy who may not be the best for her

2) Also, I have read online stories of girls who regretted dating at an early age. They said they were temporarily infatuated with the guy and did not take into account the person's flaws. When the relationship turned sour things also turned ugly and left a negative impact on these girls' lives. I don't want my sister to make the same mistakes as these girls did.

I would like to hear your responses, especially from girls. Thank you.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • it sounds to me like you're really just afraid your baby sister is gonna be having sexual interaction with guys more than you're really worried about any of that other stuff, it's just an excuse you're trying to come up with to pursued her to stay away from boys lol. I understand I really do, I have two daughters myself, but really who knows better than a man what boys are thinking about your sister right? this is what's got you worked up. I get it.

    I really don't think 15 is too young I just think you need to stop thinking of her as that little girl and start thinking of her as a young woman who is going to start experiencing these things and there's no way you can control it. yes you can help GUIDE her through it but you can't stop it. It's hard and you can wish and hope and try to convince her that books are better than boys but you and I both know it isn't gonna work and that in the end if you keep pushing you're just gonna push her away and make her sneaky and not tell you stuff cause you've been there right?

    Just tell her your worries and tell her that men can be pigs and you want better for her and that you're there if she needs you.

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What Girls Said 2

  • You are a very sweet and caring brother - but in a way you need to accept what every parent has to learn as well: You want the best for her and protect her from possible mistakes. But you can't. It's her life, her decisions and in the end: there is no ultimate right or wrong. You can advise her and be there for her. That's it. I'm the baby of the family too, my brother tried his best to protect me and especially didn't approve of any boy around me - didn't keep me from anything. The best way to influence her positively is to be her "friend". Don't lecture or talk down to her, consider her equal and do respect whatever she decides. That way she will listen to you and consider your words, always. I still do ;)

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  • 15 isn't too early to date...it's pretty normal actually.

    Why shouldn't she be dating? Is she with some weird guy?

    My advice would be do not try to tell her how bad dating can be. Because she might take you for a hypocrit, and that will make your relashionship go bad.

    Show her that you agree and give her some advices for her to not be taken advantage of.

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What Guys Said 2

  • honestly, I don't think you should discourage her. yeah its weird, but at the same time, I was kissing girls under tables at 12:) its those rejections and heartbreaks early on that help us make the correct choices later. yes, you'll Hate seeing her get hurt, but that's life, let her live hers, and be there for her when it crumbles every now and then (if you try to stop her its jsut gonna make her resent you and then when she does run into trouble who's she gonna talk to? be there for her)

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  • Dating is fine. Sex is a major no-no.

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