Would texting her this be overstepping my bounds?

This girl I like and work with seemed to be having a pretty rough day today. She has a boyfriend, but I get the feeling she may be about to end it with him, given the conversations I've been hearing and her behavior. I asked her out RIGHT when she started seeing this guy, after months of flirting with her, but she turned me down saying "I wish you asked me sooner, now I'm seeing someone"

I was thinking of sending her a text that just said "hey, you seemed to be having a rough day and not acting like yourself today. everything OK?"We didn't talk at all today at work...for 6 hours, I felt like she was purposely not talking to me.

There are two reasons why this might backfire horrifically. 1) Things have been very weird between us since she turned me down. I haven't talked to her as much since then and we've only talked about "safe" topics, so she may not even respond and it will be wicked awkward when I see her in person next 2) If she isn't having any problems she tells me to buzz off and I ruin any chances with her.

So should I do it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just send her a simple, "Hey, how are you?" That way, if she really didn't have a bad day, then you're covered. I feel like that's a less leading text.

    For moving forward - keep communication with her, but be careful not to smother her. There's this guy who is interested in me even though I have a boyfriend. Things with my boyfriend aren't going well, and he knows this, so he texts me/messages me on Facebook ALL THE TIME. Even though at one point I was interested in him (before I was dating the guy I'm with), now I just avoid him. Not that I think you are doing this, but if you are/think this is a good idea, it's not. It will just push her away. Not that you can't text her sometimes, but make this occasional and casual. You just don't want to be the only one initiating contact.

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    • I barely ever text her. The only time I have is to ask if she wanted to walk our dogs together, which is the pretense under which she gave me her number. I try to be nice in person, but I really don't want to come off as too forward.I did ask her out so she knows I still like her right? That's what I'm worried about: Her becoming single but forgetting about me because I don't still try to flirt with her.

    • That's understandable. But if she DOES become single, then you can step up and be more straightforward. Of course, give her time to heal. But try to be her "shoulder to cry on." Then, after you think she is finally over her boyfriend (may take a few weeks, months, depending on how close they were), take her out a few times. Be the nice guy I'm sure you are. Then let her know your feelings haven't changed. It's always gonna be a gamble with girls, but it's worth it to be straightforward.

What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 3

  • just send a hey what's up hows everything? text. sending one asking if she's OK is cute but it backfires badly if it does. play it kinda safe.

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  • Send her the text if you just want to be her friend. Don't send the text if you think it'll be a step closer to getting with her.

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  • cease contact with her...

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