Independent women. Turn off or turn on?

So I was watching Cinderalla movie with my niece and I realized how every Disney princess is always relying on "Prince Charming" to save her. Always the damsel in distress. So men, do you like a girl who's vulnerable and frail? Or a girl who can do her own thing and doesn't need a man to keep her whole. I also realized the Twilight Series is kind of like much of the Disney movies. The girl is nothing without her man. So, guys, what do you prefer?

P.S

I think you're all going to say "I like a girl who's right in between" please don't...:)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In all honesty, turn off.

    to me, a woman being dependent doesn't mean she is clingy, weak or helpless - it means she craves intimacy and feeling close to another person, and even if she is successful in her career and life, it still eats away at her if she doesn't have her prince, so to speak

    a woman that is "independent" doesn't crave that intimacy, and it shows in her behavior. getting close to a woman like that (aka the stereotypical liberated american woman) is a very bad idea for any man that wants anything but a f*** buddy

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    • I don't like your definitions, but good answer other wise...

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    • As much as I hate to break the PC mold, I'll say it.

      That is exactly how I feel. I feel a gap in me lacking intimacy, even having all other things.

    • why do you hate to break the PC mold ? our society is pathetically sensitive to the idea that men and women are the same in all respects. I believe this too in the professional world, but lets face it: our genders are tied to reproduction, which relationships are a huge component of. men and women are different here

What Guys Said 24

  • Huge turn on if she does not exclude me out of her life because of that. If she can still share things.

    If she is independent and don't want to get close and want to get through everything by herself, I cannot get closer to her and cannot bould intimacy. That I hate. That is a turn off.

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  • Ah movies of my childhood, how riddled with casual racism and sexism they were.

    Personally, I wouldn't want a vunerable and frail woman who needed me to do everything. She needs to have some backbone. Although to be honest; I don't think that it really matters to me.

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  • Well, after viewing your profile... You already have a cute baby and a man. Who deems himself to be sexy haha. So, really does it matter what most guys find attractive when it comes to this? Or would you rather just know what your man finds attractive. Well, since I can't pick in between hahah... I will have to pick its a turn on if the woman is independent. As long as she's not to the extreme where she becomes stubborn and won't let a guy help her out when she needs it. I want my girl to have ambition in life, and is strong willed. I do like feeling manly and helping her out no doubt about it, but it is a turn off if she needs me 24/7.

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  • Independent women are the best IMO. I HATE it when women have a Prince Charming complex. Ugh.

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  • As long as her ability to be independent does not equate her to be egomaniac and be disrespectful towards others, its the best thing for guys if she is independent. but one thing here, no only can be fully independent on her/ him self, as he/she may come across circumstantial difficulties and hence god created 2 sexes and made us to establish compatibility for an elegant life.

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  • Let me ask you this: Do you think Cinderella was made for boys to watch or girls? Also, do you see hordes of 12 year old boys flocking to twilight or hordes of 12 year old girls?

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  • independent, but "independent" women usually aren't. they still want the man to do all the work

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  • Those girls are princesses, they have money, a palace, own kingdoms, servants, dresses that sparkle, etc . If you had all of that than I wouldn't mind if you didn't work. All kidding aside, girls who can take care of themselves is a huge turn on. Independent women is a turn on but having the girl depend on you sometimes is cute.

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  • I like them independent actually. I used to hate Feminism, but then Feminism actually fights all of the princess culture that women live with now days if you know what I mean. You know what I mean: The guy approaches first, the girl has to play coy and hard to get, they girl can play games and the guy cannot say anything about it and he has to take it like a man, men are supposed to defend his women at all costs even if he has nothing to do with that and it is actually her fault, the bitchy attitude that women have these days about bitching to her boyfriend so they can manipulate him, also rely on the guy to tell them what to do.

    I like a woman who can take care of herself, who is not afraid to make the first move, a girl who speaks her mind, a girl who works to improve herself and works for herself. All of this while maintaining and working for a relationship and dividing the roles evenly.

    So yes independently.

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    • awwwi love the princess culture <3 except for the bitching at your boyfriend part

  • Independent all the way for me.

    I think it comes down to this: do you want to be in a relationship where each of you are capable of taking care of yourself but being together is extremely enjoyable and makes your lives easier (and harder sometimes), or are you in a relationship because you want to feel needed or need someone there in general (and you don't necessarily need that specific person)..

    I want to be challenged by my partner, and called out on all my shi!, I hope I can do the same for her and enjoy each other...

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  • independent women are good, but its always best to get a ballance.

    a woman who can take care of herself, yet WANTS a man in her life.

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  • Independence is sexy. I like a girl who can handle her own. I hate the girls who ALWAYS have to have a boyfriend to be happy.

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  • Well, the fact that she can take care of herself is a turn on.

    But the fact that she doesn't need a man intimidates me and is a turn off, I mean she can practically take care of herself. I would assume she's a high class, business woman who I absolutely have no shot with.

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  • not in between, the girl who needs a man to live, WHY? because her man needs her to live, does that sounds equal?

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  • I think it's a turn on to be independant, as it makes me feel more of a man helping girls, I dunno, it just does.

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  • Since I can't take the middle ground.. I prefer dependent ones. It is nice to know that you are needed and wanted.. Of course, that is no excuse to become clingy or overneedy :)

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  • Since I can't say in-between I'll take the dependent girl.

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  • It's a turn on because it means if we are in a relationship, she won't depend on me for everything. It would make for a great relationship because we would be able to enjoy each other wihtout the stress of taking care of her needs.

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  • I like the independent personality type with a healthy dependency on me, it's quite flattering knowing you mean so much to somebody. In the end, who wouldn't prefer being needed as opposed to not being needed whatsoever?

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  • its a good thing...but I hate it if a women tries to shove it in other ppl's faces...be independent on your own time please

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  • dependant if I had to choose

    dont think I could ever date an independant chick... feeling wanted and needed is nice

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  • Funny enough I put down prince charming as my personality type

    Ever heard of that princess syndrome? if not look it up because Disney is selling sex to kids.

    Also independent women show confidence, which is sexy in my view.

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  • i'm more attracted to aggressive girls, girls who take-charge, initiative and ask guys out

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  • turn off

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What Girls Said 7

  • Regardless of how independent I may be, I would never want a man who I didn't need just a bit. Usually people choose partners of equal standing to their character (fair enough).

    Independence is material.

    Women can be extremely strong, but fragile in an opposing way.

    Distress is usualy spiritual.

    We have hearts, they break.

    I need a man who I can rely on to be the guardian of that. (yes I know it sounds corny)

    I need him to protect me emotional, so I can shine.

    And on the occasion I can be turbulent and emotional, fall into the trappings of existential questionings associated with a largely bohemian existence.

    and I need that nice, dry, warm solid rock in the middle of a stormy sea to rest on.

    And it's him.

    So even if I'm jetting back in business class after making a killing and leading an army...I may be viewed as strong. But I am still a woman. And somewhere between the hum of the jets and a book page turning, I look down at an empty inbox of messages on my phone, and you can almost hear my heart fracture. I curl up, freezing, under a blanket. It doesn't help.

    There is nothing in this world worth more then true love.

    It's the rarest, most invaluable luxury in existence.

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    • I will fall in love with the man who is able to recognize the correct axis of my true fragility. I believe it goes in hand with beauty. they can look, but it takes one to see.

      and when a man sees a spirit and not physical shapes, he begins to be in trouble haha

  • I consider myself as being an independent women.. Studying in law..Very career oriented. However.. I do want my prince charming.. But not to depend on.. or to save me.. I want my prince to be a loving husband.. And not some kind of a jerk or asshole..

    In order words.. Yes I do believe in nice and sweet guys.. BUT of course men have to act and pretend like they are some kind of a bad guy to appeal attracting. Huge turn off -__- lol :)

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  • I believe that Disney movies set girls up to fail in the long run. We start watching those when we're like toddlers but guys don't really start caring about girls until their late 20s. I've never met a guy I trusted enough to be that vulnerable with him. I don't think you have a choice but to be independent because if you are one of those idiots whos nothing without her man, then how crushed will you be when you guys break up in a few months?

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  • Interesting question as I'm wrestling with this at the moment. I'm a very independent girl, I don't need a man to define my identity, I can manage and have managed perfectly well without one. However, my boyfriend seems to have a big problem with this, saying because I've got used to be so independent I don't show my feelings much. He's quite dominant and likes to lead, but I refuse to play the little women and bow to a man's will. I'll do my own thing thank you very much.

    So I think its a travesty when men they like an independent woman because a lot of them can't actually handle one. Despite the fact that I'm not needy, I can buy all my own nice things, have my own life and identity, they really don't like it if they're 100% honest.

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  • most guys like to feel like they are needed but the thing is us women really can't afford to rely on them! Most guys these days don't go to college and don't really take on the treditional man having a good career role like they use to decades ago. I had a guy who wanted to be needed but the truth was all he could do for me was maybe fix something around the house other than that he really wasn't good for much.. He wasn't even as smart. Guys like to feel needed so I think most would say dependent.

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    • Did you know that this year 60% of bachelors and master graduates are women. We can argue that men aren't as smart, or are too lazy. Which in some cases is true. But we can also argue that since there is a high teenage pregnancy going on, how many men find $10 an hour job to support the kid and after a few years of her raising the kid she goes off to college while the man stays home with his dead end job supporting her while she gets her education. All in all 60% to 40% is crazy. Kudos to girls

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    • Yes, it may have dropped but that still doesn't change the fact that the teenage pregnancy is still pretty high.

    • and you say men stay at home and let the girls go to school? No the reason men don't go is because they don't want too! kids have nothing to do with it! that's y women can't rely on men

  • I find it interesting that the guys on this site known for being bitter, single and inexperienced are the ones who prefer dependent women. The ones who are successful with women prefer independent as a rule. Guess it goes to show, the more insecure the guy, the more they need a woman beneath them to make them feel good about themselves. I'll take the successful guy and stay independent thanks!

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  • I feel like I have no choice but to be independent because I cannot depend on any guy to take care of me. Any relationship that I have been in, the guys are the ones depending on me to help them out. They are the damsels in distress, while I'm thinking "man up"...

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