Girls: Is it possible that you still like a guy, but don't want to date him again?

My girlfriend dumped me 2 months ago for being too clingy and she cried when she was doing it but said "she didn't feel the same anymore" and stuff like that. I tried begging her to take me back but it didn't work (realized now that it was silly)

She told me she really wanted to be friends, but its been 5 weeks since we split and she hasn't tried contacting me at all, so I thought she has moved on. I talked to her 3 weeks ago on facebook but she ignored me so I deleted her as I didn't want to keep chatting and bothering her (it was hard for me to resist and sucked seeing her online and her not talking to me), then re-added her 2 weeks later as I felt I was ready for a friendship ( I still had feelings for her) This made her realize I deleted her in the first place and she was angry, told all my friends I was immature and she wasn't going to accept it.

Saw her the other night with a group of friends and she can't look me in the face, she can't speak directly 1 on 1 with me and she always looks distant/upset, she never use to look like this when we caught up before we were dating, she would listen to me when I was talking, laugh/add things to what I was saying but when I looked in her direction she looked away. She handed me a pool cue, I thanked her and looked at her but she turned her head, when she left my house she looked around the room saying goodbye to everyone - except the corner I was in. And one last thing, me and her friend went clubbing the night before and when I was coming back into the room I heard my ex asking if I had fun the other night etc etc.

Is it possible she still has feelings for me, despite the fact she doesn't seem to care that we don't talk as much as we use to and that she didn't notice I removed her from facebook for 2 weeks, probably longer had I not re-added her. But could it also be possible, that despite the fact she still has feelings for me, she isn't going to admit it/speak up about it, I do want to get back together with her, but I don't want to have to be the one to ask about it, as I already tried (2 days post break-up) and she dumped me so...Should I just try move on? It was only a 2 month relationship and its been 5 weeks yet I still have feelings for her, I'm starting to get worried.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Being the one who is dumped is never a nice thing. You start to think of all the things you did that made things go so wrong etc and totally get yourself in knots about it. Usually it has nothing to do with you but something that's up with the other person. The fact she cried showed breaking up with you was hard for her. And the fact she didn't contact you after the brake up I think is perfectly normal. You go cold turkey to allow both of you to deal with the fact your not together anymore.

    I think what you have to do is take the high road so to speak and not do stuff like deleting her on facebook, which probably just seemed to her like you were so angry you deleted her out of spite hence her calling you immature, not that you found it hard to see her online and see what she was up to etc which is the actual reason. Asking her out again and trying to speak to her and her not answering gives her the power as she will know you are still after her. Just stop trying to contact her and when you see her be normal and polite, ask her how she is etc but leave it at that. Then you will seem like you are moving on, which if she still has feelings for you will drive her crazy and confuse her no end!

    I also think that the fact she seems to know what you have been up to, for example, when she knew you had gone out clubbng, is pretty telling she hasn't completely moved on from you which is encouraging.

    So at the moment you are an available option for her to fall back on as she knows for certain you still have feelings for her. You don't want to let her have that security. It was her choice to break up with you so don't let her have this kind of power. If you withdraw from her and seem to be getting on OK and are not always contacting her then if she still has feelings for you she won't want to loose you and she will be forced to make an effort to keep you around and in her life. On the other hand if she does nothing then that is a clear message to you that she really does not want a relationship with you. If that is the case, then I would say for your own sanity it is time to move on.

    I wish you well and I hope that this was useful. And remember, you have to look out for yourself and make sure you don't get hurt again!

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    • wow thanks a lot, great answer, I want to tell her why I actually deleted her off facebook, should I not bother and just see if she asks me about it

    • I would leave it to be honest and wait and see if she makes an effort to speak to you etc and if the opportunity arises then sure why not but at the moment if you explain the reason, you again will be indicating that you still have serious feelings for her and that your still thinking about her, the break up etc which at the moment I don't think you want her to know. But you have to do what your most comfortable with!

What Girls Said 1

  • id say... she might just want attention maybe.. maybe alone she gets nervous around you either because she has feelings slightly for you still or maybe because she doesn't have feelings for you at all and just feels uncomfortable around you. she might only still even be around you because of the fact you are int he same group.. I would say just let it go.. don't go to her don't try to get her to want you.. let her come to you and if she truly wants you .. she will.

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What Guys Said 1

  • people lie- get used to it buddy

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