GUYS: Would you date a girl with a child? Why or why not?

I am recently divorced and have a 5 year old. It's seems like it is hard to find guys that are open to dating me since I have a child. It's not like I was going around having lots of sex and got pregnant. I was married to the father for a couple of years.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Recall that most single guys are looking for a lover first, then a girlfriend, then a mother. The most common mistake for dating moms is that they attempt this backward--doesn't work.

    If he's the long-term relationship type, then he has to consider *immediately*: a. whether he wants to be a parent at all, and b. whether he wants to be a parent with you. That's a lot to take in on the first date.

    You can ease this a lot with how you date. First, your dates don't need to know *at all* that you have a child until he's decided to stick around for a while. If he doesn't even know whether he likes you or not, bringing up the kid will, if not spook him, at least confuse his thinking.

    Then, if he's a keeper, you want to ease him into the details of your domestic life. Don't toss him into the mix immediately. As a general rule, let him tell you when he's ready. If he shows absolutely no interest in meeting your child or it looks like they might not get along, that's a red flag. You want him looking forward to this, not dreading it.

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What Guys Said 7

  • below is something I posted here on the same question which is applicable here as well hope it helps.

    for some reason I landed on this page with a lot of the same question as you've posted lol

    let me tell some don't mind at all , for example I'm one, my wife and I have been together now for 40 yrs. she had a 1 year old daughter at the time I met her 6 months latter we were married. had two more daughters . have 5 grandkids 4 boys and and a girl whose the youngest at present.

    i think what I put here says it all on your questions. you said you wanted honest answers why or why not ,below is just food for thought take it for what its worth but*ts from my heart.

    i know what I'm about to say on this is not popular thought in most girls in your age group (18-24)

    the next guy chose from a differenttype guy than what your ex: was.

    most likely he was one of the following types of a type.

    he was controlling

    maybe abusive word or physical

    cheated (which also includes lieing(sp))

    he was either a jock popular guy / badboy type / a player / or just a plain jerk all share some if not all of the above traits and more (negative type traits that is)

    well what type of guy should you choose then?

    well I was back in the 1960's girls would discribe me as "that nice sweet guy with the wavy hair"

    ya, I was one of those nice guys that got over looked in high school by girls because I had the nice guy qualities. and we all know how girls in the age bracket of (14-24) what they think and feel about nice guys .

    LOL ...

    but consider this girls/women by the time they reach 25 or older (some maybe younger if smart)

    realize that the nice guys weren't such a bad deal all along. most of these guys haven't as a rule changed one iota from when they were in high school.these women 25 and older also state on line and encourage younger women not to make the same mistakes they did and love their geeky nerdy sweet nice shy quiet guys to pieces

    yet its also a proven fact that these same guys are better fathers, husbands ,and providers . also 95% of the time they do not cheat on their partners (they maybe at times cheated on but its rare)

    you ask for honest answers to your questions , these are I know pretty expliet answers and detailed to a degree. yet I posted my expierence on this and I am a nice guy which wound upo with a wonderful women to boot. is our life a fairy tale ...lol far from it we have our ups and downs in this relationship but we work them out.

    hopefully my post has been of some help to you make some wise choices this next time with a guy.

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  • Would depend on the mother, I hate to say it but your probably gonna have to date below your level.

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    • Below her level? Lol. That's ridic. If anything, my kid is all the more reason for my standards and expectations to be higher. That's just crazy.

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    • So you are saying that having a child makes me a go down a level?!?! WTF! Worst answer. Obviously you are not a very good guy/person.

  • all depends but I probably wouldn't at the moment, as I don't want a "family" and "settle down" yet and things are different when a child is involved.

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  • yes I would day a girl with a kid because you don,t have all the bull she know what she what and dose not what

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  • I wouldn't, but that's because I don't want children, mine or otherwise.

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  • No I wouldn't ever

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  • Sure, it doesn't bother me much. just don't expect me to take on a full role as daddy immediately in your life, which I know is important to some chicks with kids. Kids complicate things because when you break up with her, you break up with them, which is why I would be careful about getting too close. I'm not one of those guys that has a thing about raising some other guys kid though. that's irrelevant to me. you can't blame the children for being someone else's and personally that fact doesn't mean that I couldn't ever love them like my own. everyones different.

    i do a lot of f***ing around right now and hooking up, so I wouldn't want to be around them much. I love kids though. If I went into a relationship and I really liked the girl, and things were serious then I'd have no problem playing around with them, helping her take care of them, etc. if I loved her.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I have been in the same exact boat as you pretty much, except my daughter is 4. Dating is more difficult to me, simply for the fact that I can't go around and casually date. But I've never had a guy turn around and make a run for the door when I tell them I have a kid. A lot of them without kids could say one thing, but I have dated a couple of guys who didn't have kids, didn't want kids at the time that I met them, and they absolutely fell in love with my daughter and completely turned them around, regardless of what they said at the beginning lol. Maybe I've just been lucky and it hasn't been a huge obstacle for me. Either way, good luck to you.

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