I'm the guy who fell for my best friend. I need some serious help. What do I do?

Like the thousands of questions you may have seen on the site, I think I'm falling for my best friend. We've been best friends for almost seven years now and we've weathered out a lot. Although she has moved a couple hundred miles away a few years ago, we've seemed to strengthen our relationship these past few years. It wasn't until a year or two ago I realized I may have something more for her. I asked her two years ago if she ever thought about the possibility of us and she says she has and that it may possibly happen but what bothers her most about that is the possibility of losing our friendship. From then on I just cherished every moment I had speaking to her and I couldn't help but notice the feelings get stronger. But as of lately I find it difficult to speak to her and our conversations lately haven't been what they used to be. Just recently I asked her the same question again, is there a possibility of us ever happening? And she tells me this time she doesn't know since things between us are always changing. I thought this was just the nicer way of saying "No, sweetie there is no chance." So now I'm just lost. Should I just drop it? Or should I keep going on? What do I do if I keep going on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was in a similar situation a while back. However, I had never asked her how she felt about us getting together. I finally gathered the courage to ask her out one day, and got rejected.

    It hurt, and it caused a lot of problems afterward. About a month later she started dating somebody else, and it threw me into a huge depression. Arguments started, and ultimately, we no longer speak. Most of the issue was my fault, I admit, and while it did suck for a while, if I had the chance to do it over again, I would have still asked her.

    For me, asking her out was the hardest thing I have ever done in my entire life, which is turn, caused the greatest depression I have ever felt. But now, I feel like getting rejected by any other girl, isn't nearly as bad. I don't think anybody can give you a definite answer of what you should do, and it is a very tough situation to be in.

    Ultimately, my choice came to be because I knew (Or, at least hoped), that my best friend would still be there with me, no mater what her answer was. She was, but I only then messed things up beyond repair.

    The only advice I can give, is that if you choose to ask, and she says no, don't let it break up your friendship. That is the only part I regret.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I'm in the same position. I love my best friend, and I'm kind of persistent in letting him know my feelings. He tells me that he really cares about me, but doesn't want to ruin our friendship. It hurts to not be able to him as my "man", but at least he's in my life. I advise you think similarly. I love him and would die if he wasn't there, so just recently I have let my feelings go, for now.

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  • I say ask because she already knows that you like her. Plus, if the feelings are getting stronger that means it could be something if she feels the same way. I wish you the best of luck.

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  • did you let go?

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What Guys Said 1

  • I was in a similar situation. Drop it, you'll feel better eventually.

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