Been on 2 (good) dates, still have daily texts but no further plans...advice please?

[Anonymous]

OK..so I am a mature (well 32) year-old dater and recently met this guy on a night out. After he asked for my number, he text me later that night and asked me out on a date. Said date went ahead the following weekend, which was a rather nice date...he agreed and said lots of very flattering things about me. He then asked me on second date, this went ahead the following weekend. He put a lot of effort into a lovely day/evening out...even tho he had a hangover, haha! Again, lots of flattering comments...we had a kiss or two, again more flattering comments. Briefly on this date it was mentioned meeting up again the following Sunday. And he drove me all the way home (to save me getting a train). Said he would call later that night, but didn't...however, got in touch first thing following morning, apologizing saying he had fallen asleep. Then didn't hear from him for 2days, then he text apologizing saying work was very busy. I do know he has a stressful job and that his family always complain to him he isn't in touch enough. So although I am not a naive fool, I accepted this. Then the daily texts start up again, which he always initiated...and if he sent a text that didn't really need a reply (and I didn't) he would text again a few hours later...asking how my day was going! However, even with all this communication...there has been no further mention of meeting up again for a 3rd day. And since he mentioned he is having to work on the day we had briefly mentioned meeting up on.

Now...I am doing the VERY annoying girlie trait of over-analyzing this situation...but would welcome any and all advice as to what he is playing at...should I hold out hope of meeting again or just move on...?!

Thank you

[benjamintyfresh]

So, let me summarize the situation I've just read: he asked you out on two dates, followed through by giving you two good dates, texts daily (which, according to you, he always initiates) asks you how your day is going even after you've stopped responding to him, flatters you, kisses you, drives you home so you don't have to catch a train.

Is that about right? If so, let me ask you another question:

What are YOU doing to show him that YOU'RE interested?

I realize that it is a man's job to do the pursuing; on this issue I will not disagree. A man, in my opinion, should approach a woman, ask her out, show her a good time, pay for dinner/drinks if necessary, make the first move, etc.

But women have a role to play too. Attraction is reciprocal; in other words, it takes two to tango. Trying to start something with a women who gives no feedback is boring, lame, a little maddening, and absolutely no fun. Do you call or text him out of the blue? Did you text him to tell him you had a wonderful time on either of your dates? Do you do anything nice for him?

Based on the situation I've read, he could be slowly giving up on you. If I were in his shoes, I'd be doing the same thing. To men, dating women (at least some women) can seem like a game of chess. If a guy isn't sure his strategy is working, he may just give up.

[Asker]

Hey. Sorry I never expanded on my actions in all of this...but yes, I have always told him I had a great time on the dates and that I really enjoyed his company. I did initiate some of the texts up until the point he did a disappearing act for 2days! But at that point, I felt that he was withdrawing a little, so I allowed him the space and waited on him to contact me.

But I do agree, I feel it is his place to ask to see me again. As he never had a problem with asking me out for the other dates

[benjamintyfresh]

Hmm, then I don't know. Maybe he really is just extremely busy. But I think you're right; you might just be over-analyzing. We're all guilty of this. Still, I don't think it would hurt if you brought up the third date situation, even if its only as a passing remark.

[Asker]

Yup, us girls are a nightmare for over-analysing. Not that life is on hold waiting for him, but just a little confused as to why constant contact but no more plans. I will leave it till after the weekend and then mention it. Nothing to lose, I guess. Thanks for taking the time to answer me.

[margharita]

Men love doing the chasing and sometimes have no idea as to what to do once they catch us. Based on little experience that I have had, I would say the next two to three times he texts do not respond, see how he reacts. If he is intrested he will call, arrange to meet you and actually show up. If he won't then maybe you need to evaluate as to whether or not you need to be with a person who keeps you in suspense, takes you out, only to call 4 days later.