It's clear he's a player but I wonder why he felt nothing for me?

I met someone on line. He seemed genuine and into me. I discovered he'd activated his profile after stating he was taking it down from the site because he was happy and want a future with me. I then finished it as I'd lost trust in him. After 2 weeks he's texting me saying he cared and missed me. At the very same moment, he's logged onto the site and live. My friend who's online already visited his profile for me to confirm if he's was at that moment, and no sooner I tell him it's a no go, he's winking at her! I'm a very attractive woman with a heart of gold. He's 45, fat, bald with a big nose. Why did he not appreciate me? He won't get better than me but now I feel so inadequate. I wasn't looking for a god, only a nice guy who wouldn't play around. Why if I wasn't enough for him, did he get back in touch when clearly he wanted new women, as he was online at the time?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I am not sure..I'd say it's a mind game for him. He didn't appreciate it that you rejected him..so, in order to feel like a sex god or whatever is in his mind..he wanted to see if he could get you back..so he could feel better about himself. Sounds like a pig to me. ugh! I'm sorry he treated you this way. If I were you, I would talk to someone worth your time. If he tries to constantly talk to you, I'd tell him he's too ugly inside and out for you. <3

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    • Thank you. You're a very wise lady. I bet he does want to get even. It's pity though that revenge is the only emotion he has for me. I wonder if it's a mid life crisis or if he's always been like this? An old timer still behaving like a young stud is very unattractive. I'm now at an age where I'm looking for a solid character over looks, as I want to settle down. I'd thought his type would be a safer bet over a good looker. Seems my strategy was wrong...lol. Better luck next time...

    • aww..and you will have better luck! Good luck to you..you are very pretty (personality wise), so I am sure you are pretty on the outside as well.. good luck gorgeous xx

What Guys Said 1

  • you said it in your question, he is a player.

    This is typical player behavior. If they could get away with it they'd even be on their phone or online trying to pick up while having sex with you. I'm sure many of them have thought doggy style makes your back a convenient height to be a table, just right for a laptop for browsing a dating site.

    He is trash, treat him as such, discarded and forgotten.

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    • hahaha...that's such a funny thought. I'm well over him now. Not only is he a player, he's a nut case! Sadly my dad died in April. On that day, after ignoring him for a couple of months, I get a call from his brother! I've not met this guy before and he was ringing to try and guilt trip me back to Nick. The brother goes on to say how ill Nick had been and was in an awful state. I let him go on as I was too shocked to say anything. I'll send another post to finish this story

What Girls Said 3

  • He is not the only one like this on this earth. They are all over and they are sick! They cannot get attention in real life so they go do it online.

    You have to be strong and get rid of him from your life, completely. Let go other questions you have in your head. He is not your problem anymore.

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    • Hi and thanks for your reply. Everyone seems to have the same sort of idea about the situation. It's all about the ego. You're so right about needing to be strong. I was feeling very sad and actually starting to miss him but I had to stop these thoughts dead in their tracks as he hasn't got off to a good start in a relationship. It was so new we should have both been swept up on the wave of new romance and excitement and the reality of it was no where near this. A very disappointing experience

  • I have seen someone really similar to this type. I kinda think they have sickness and need ti see a therapist or even a shrink. All they want is "attention."

    The best to pay back is to just to completely ignore them. Believe me, this is the only way you can do to bring down their over-appreciation on themselves.

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    • Thanks for your thoughts. I just had hoped there was some ounce of sincerity and emotion for me somewhere buried deep in his all consuming self! I doubt he is capable of emotion. I know it's wrong to validate yourself by the reaction of others, but his emotion/behaviour seems so detached from me, as if I've had no impact on him at all, I can't help but feel inadequate that he isn't capable of any warmth for me and I'm as disposable as a paper cup!

  • What a nice guy.:-/ Thank goodness you realized what a prize he is. Players don't care they just want one thing. You really should set your standards a little higher. Your an attractive woman why would you want to be with an ugly bald fat guy. I know a guy just like him fat bald ugly and 50. He's always trying to get me to go out with him, but I'm not interested in an fat ugly bald player. Hahaha

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    • Hi and thanks for your reply. All of you ladies have helped me alot. I've come to realize that he does have a problem. It might be his inner ugly, child desperately trying to get validation of attractiveness after years of rejection and hurt. A bit like the people you see on Ricky Lake who were ugly geeks at high school and now they're beautiful swans and they want the school bulllies to look on with regret. Maybe to him I represented the school bullies and he wanted to get even.

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