Would you girls date a quiet and unpopular guy?

I've always been the quiet and unpopular guy at school, university, work etc. I wouldn't call myself unpopular exactly but I was never someone who was noticed or well-known. I usually kept to myself and did my own things. I'm not shy, I just didn't spend time trying to gain popularity. I've always been that guy who just floated in the background.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • These girls are full of it. Women go for guys with status, it's a turn-on. Why do you think women f*** their bosses, chase the high school quarterback, go for guys with money, etc? It's in their blood.

    Now that doesn't mean you are screwed, you just need a bit more confidence and to find yourself if you know what I mean. You'll still meet girls and still get dates, just your success rate will be less, that's all.

    Keeping to yourself is a bad idea if you want to meet women, so is floating in the background. You have to make some noise to be noticed.

    Whatever you do don't fall into the "woe is me" thing. Keep your chin up and get out there, you'll meet people.

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What Girls Said 11

  • People are wayyy too caught up in being 'popular' these days... and it's not just girls, it's guys too.

    Personally, I think any girl would prefer a guy who was completely comfortable with who he is and who didn't spend the majority of his time trying to better his social image. Sounds like you'd fit into the 'completely comfortable' category. Keep that up! Girls appreciate it, and it actually makes THEM feel more comfortable around you too.

    :)

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    • what asshole voted this down? I guess the truth does indeed hurt!

    • in a way your right but in another your wrong . guys like him generally if he expresses any kind of interest winds up as just friends with the girl in most cases. quiet guys many times are shy also at times which at times makes them the loaners they are. he may also have been told or indicated he was a sweet nice guy. we know where that leads basically.which perfectly discribes his condition he finds himself in and asking the question he is. food for thought

  • I would your not following the social norm is like fresh air..Everyone now a days is trying to fit in!

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  • No.

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    • +1 for frankness

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    • I don't care about the accusation. I'm telling you that you didn't apology just deflect and tried to invalidate my thoughts by saying oh you're close minded too.

      I don't care if you give one. You aren't the type to do so and your oh you're the same so you can't talk, you deserve negativity, and deflections show that.

      Yeah there are girls who like quiet & unpopular boys and girls who don't.

      The reasons girls won't like you has nothing to do with those 2 traits.

    • Lol I love how you claim nonexistence of my reasons :)

      Goes to show that not only do you think by default reasons to no answers aren't good but that any girl who says no doesn't have one. She's probably shallow/close minded or prejudice right?

      Yes so open minded.

      Of course girls have got to like quiet/unpopular I mean there's no good reason not to. lol

      I bet you think there are plenty of good reasons not to date a loud/popular boy. ^-^

  • Yes,if he is attractive and has a great personality.

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  • I have never based my liking or wanting to date a guy on popularity. If I like him...I like him regardless of being outgoing, shy, popular, unpopular, etc.

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  • Yeah, these things do not depend on your popularity

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  • ...depends on your personality, regardless of being popular or gregarious etc..I don't want popular guys to date honestly,because there are always girls who try to bully or threat those who get near their crush.

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  • Yes.

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  • it doesn't matter to me. as long as they care about me, and treat me well, that's all that matters.

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  • yes

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  • Yes. I agree with mssexy. Attraction doesn't depend on labels, social contests, or sometimes even looks for many girls.

    What I care about is that he makes me feel something other than indifference. I hope it's happiness, but provoking a little bit of anger can work too, if you can do it correctly. If he makes me feel a range of emotion - confusion, amusement, shock, anger, joy - it's even better. It means he has a lot of things going on in his head and can deal with what happens when he lets it out. Guys who have their own thing and don't need to rely on groups to find their personalities are a lot more interesting. Guys who don't follow social rules are intriguing.

    Don't think of yourself as being unpopular or in the background. Life isn't a movie or a photograph; it's a stage. Being toward the back doesn't mean anything negative; you're still important to the drama.

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    • for a girl coming from a guys stand point a very abstute answer kudo's to you very good response in my opinion

    • Thank you. What I meant when I said "correctly" in terms of making me feel "negative" emotions is if he does it in a way where I can know almost immediately that he's messing with me, or if he lets on when he sees I'm taking it personal. There's a difference between pissing me off and picking on me, and I guess you have to figure out that threshold with each girl by *communicating* with them.

What Guys Said 3

  • you've heard some good and maybe some bad suggestions and comments here. but your here to get an answer right?

    here's something I wished I had known at your age(I know them now just wished I knew them then lol) guys like you (or any guy in your situation are generally clueless to girls in general and this info) guys in your age group (14-24) ya I extended it some. are really clueless . they have girls flirting with them all the time they just reconize what the girls are doing as signs of flirting with them.

    huh...?

    its called body language, most likely their could be as many as 1/2 doz girls been flirting with you to get your attention but you didn't know it,

    do a google on shy girls body language read as many as you can and you'll start remembering .

    ya , I seem to recall several instances of a girl doing that while around me but just assume it was her doing what ever she did as normal girl things. not knowing she was flirting.

    why am I even talking and sharing about girls body language here and what does it have to do with my question you ask. well in essence your a clone of me (i'm 64) and was like that.

    in the 1960's except I was shy. afraid if I approached a girl I'd get rejected and did several times which strenghtened my fear of it . but realized in many cases (after finding out what body language was ) I was approaching girls I shouldn't have and not the ones that may have actually been interested in me. . no some of these girls may not have graced penthouse or playboy magazines. but may have been pretty or cute never the less. and in general had better personalities than many of the so called really good looking girls did that many of us were or might have been attracted to.

    your question implies your single you've probably never been in a relationship boyfriend/girlfriend type thing and your at the upper end of the age group (18-24) and now thinking is ther any girls out there interested in someone like me. answer is most likely but as said you didn't know it . back to the body language things which will help you find someone that's interested in you without playing guessing games you'll know almost for sure wiether they do or not and when to approach or not.

    just as their are signals that say come get me there are signals that say leave me alone also .these are things that will help you the rest of your life in this area.

    hope this has been helpful and informative for you . realizing this post of yours is 4 months old

    i'm not seeing any updates by you under your question let us know if anything transpires if you use any of what has been suggested by others or me.

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  • Only if they are only as unpopular and quiet as you. Don't expect a girl who is outspoken and popular to date somebody like you.

    Women always want to date a man that is always better than them, they never go for anybody who is "lesser" in value than them. What does define value?: Looks, money, social status, inteligence and specially personality.

    Personality wise they want somebody with humor and confidence, since they already have it low enough, why else will they want somebody with less confidence than them? They always look for them to make raise their sel-esteem any ways.

    I know it soundfs harsh but that is the reality. And to be honest all the women that are speaking here I bet 100 bucks have never dated somebody like that. Or maybe they don't understand what a quiet and unpopular personality in a guy is actually like.

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    • You just lost your $100, because I'm in love with one. He's shy and awkward, and that is part of the reason I was attracted him to begin with.

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    • let's hope you don't loose interest because he wasn't man enough to make a move on you and passing your "tests".

    • Communication is a test? Dang man, you're awfully cynical. A desirable man amounts to more than the fake persona he puts on so he can function in public.

  • not until you start making allot of money then women will all of a sudden start liking you for your personality.

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