Online relationships/e-dating: why is there such a stigma attached to them...

whenever you see anything about online dating, there is a constant fear attached to it, skepticism. Seems as if when people say they are sick and tired of the dating scene in their town, they do wanna do the online thing. Always immediately, they parrot some horror story about a e-date turned fatally wrong... I wanna see from all of you, your opinions on that... seems to me that fear of the unknown keeps people single in this area, like everyone online is some stalker, or 'creep'... As always opine below.

I have always wondered why this is... just really curious


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think that as a society, we're still adjusting to the Internet being part of our everyday life. In the beginning, the Internet was on the "fringe" and was mainly nerds and loners. People who used the Internet for friendship and dating were "weird" and there were a lot of cautionary tales about meeting someone from the Internet because you never knew who the person on the other side of the screen really was.

    The Internet has changed a lot and now it's something that everyone and their mom uses. People have calmed down a bit about the Internet being full of predators and stalkers, since they realize that most of the people on the 'net are the same people you would meet walking down the street, at school, or at a bar. It's becoming more commonplace and acceptable to meet people from the Internet in offline settings.

    But, we haven't completely accepted how integrated the Internet is in our lives now. New technology is often scary to people for some time, and we still view meeting people from the Internet as different than having your initial meeting face-to-face. Some people still hold on to the idea that Internet dating is just for nerds or social rejects (like, if you can't find that "special someone" in real life, it's suggestive of there being something wrong with you---when in reality, people of all walks of life turn to the Internet to find someone they can really connect with but might not have met otherwise; meeting someone you connect with can be hard). And of course, the cautionary tales still float around.

    That's not to say that there aren't creeps and stalkers online, but people forget that you can meet a creep or a stalker anywhere. They don't limit themselves to the Internet. The Internet might be a handy tool for people to use, but I think we have enough advances and knowledge to be able to tell if someone is who they say they to the same degree as someone you meet at a bar or at the park. We can interact with people via webcam before meeting. And most people who realize that going home with a complete stranger you met at the bar could be dangerous also realize that you should use that same caution when meeting someone from the Internet and decide to meet somewhere in public.

    People say: But you could lie about who you are on the Internet. Well, you could lie about who you are in person too. Someone could wear a suit out and say they're a successful businessman when really they're a frycook who happens to own a suit. Someone could hide the fact that they're married and have kids. You don't have to have the Internet to make up a story about yourself to try to get someone to like you.

    Personally, I've met tons of people in real life that I met initially online. Some of them are my closest friends. A few of the people I met were a little weird/not the type of person I would get along with, but none of them were scary or bad people.


What Girls Said 9

  • When it comes to online dating, you are right there is a stigma attached to it and people think that all there is on there are creepers and people with fake profiles. Although there are some creepers and fake profiles out there, there are a lot of real people too. Why not take the chance? Some people are afraid to try because it is something new and they have never done this before. But online dating can be useful if you are sick of the same old people.

    Sure there are horror stories, but there are also good stories too. If you look at some of the sites they have testimonials from people who have been successful. Now some may argue that those stories are fake and just a marketing tool, but recent studies done have said that 1 out of 5 relationships has started online. So people are meeting and dating off of online dating sites.

  • There's a stigma attached to it, definitely. But like you say, I agree that it's not much worse than meeting someone else that's in your area. People attach stigmas like that to it because of things like the craigslist killer and what not. Maybe I'm cynical, but I think someone like that could be ANYONE I meet, regardless of if it's online or not. You hear about more people dying to domestic abuse than you hear about someone meeting someone off the internet. People say just because you've gotten to know someone online, doesn't mean that you've gotten to know the real them.. and that there's no way to really be sure exactly who or what they are. But I say that's true for everyone, even the people you meet in your day to day life. Maybe you could add that I'm paranoid, along with cynical, but I don't like taking my chances. Question everyone.

  • I don't know...

    I met an ex of mine online and he was an awesome guy,

    even better boyfriend.

    We dated for over six months,

    but ended up breaking up because we were in different stages of our lives.

    There are a lot of people you have to wade through,

    and I think the problem is that people get frustrated with this and don't get the chance to find someone good/decent.


    I agree with selfishstars.

    She basically says it the best.

  • it's hard to judge a person based on only what they want you to know about them.

    i find it easier for myself to know the person in person.

    i can then find out more information however, I have my ways.

    people may not be accustomed to it and hear a lot about guys just looking for a one night stand.

    as I have said before, not everyone is like this but a lot of skepticism exists because often it may be a distance relationship. trust is needed. and it can be dangerous to trust a stranger of course.

    • ...this question is like the chicken and the egg... it could go on forever...

  • Well it's important that people KNOW about the e-date horror stories. They have to be cautious.

    I'm not saying DON'T MEET ANYONE OFF THE INTERNETS OR YOU'LL DIE but people need to be aware of the risks, that's all.

    It's like having sex without protection. Immediatly after you mention that, someone will talk about AIDS, herpes, etc... You won't necessarily catch a disease, but it's important to know about the risk.

    • how is it more dangerous than meeting people at a bar?

    • Show All
    • ...

    • What can I say, I hang out with open minded people.

  • When it first started it was only shy, socially awkward and desperate people who couldn't meet people any other way. It is not like that anymore but the stigma of it is still attached to it.

  • I think the worst part of on-line dating is that you feel like a loser for doing it.

  • Because without actual social contact there IS no relationship! old are you anyway...Geez!

    • Geez... It's my effing question... troll

What Guys Said 3

  • they are making excuses for their inaction and cowardice.

  • I met my girlfriend online, Me and her are happily in a relationship, The thing about online (And I'm not saying online relationships are bad or good) is that you don't know who you're revealing yourself to until you get to know the person too well and even then it could still be dangerous, But like me you could meet the love of your life and it could be fine. There's good points and bad points each way you look at it. Sorry if I didn't help.

    • I recently married my online gf... we knew each other for 5 yrs, took it slow, etc... from what I have experienced, is basically that you run into the same junk in e-dating that you do dating the old-fashioned way... so many folk do attach a stigma to e-dating, like it's something only desperate pplz do...

  • Online dating definitely does have those beliefs for a lot of people. When I first tried online dating I was very skeptical (as I think most should be) because you kind of go into it blindly. Although once I opened up my mind to just using it as a means of meeting people it wasn't so bad. Nearly all of the girls I met and eventually dated were girls I would of never met or perhaps even approached otherwise. I think this is the best part, that it enables you to interact with people way outside of your social sphere. And in fact, in a lot of ways, online dating is harder than approaching a relationship offline. Girls in particular seem much more picky about who they talk to, and for good reasons I suppose. Well, it can go both ways. I think many people assume that if you meet someone online you just chat and do stuff online. Which isn't true at all. I usually like to meet the person I'm talking to within a short period of time, just to see if there is another connection worthy enough to pursue.

    The reason I even tried online dating in the first place was to put myself out there. Contrary to what many believe many attractive, well adjusted people go online at some point. My social circle is small, plus I'm a busy guy which makes meeting someone difficult. But I've also had many bad experiences, this is just the way it goes.