Why do guys whine and bitch so much about paying child support?

I mean seriously I practically never hear girls complain as much as guys. They say man I didn't want this kid why should I have to pay for it, because whether you like it your DNA is running around and the government shouldn't have to pay for your mistake. If a girl didn't want an abortion, oh well get over it. She made her decision you'll just have to live with it. Have fun paying child support. And I already one of you retards are gonna her body...her choice...her responsibility, fake as philosopher. Why can't you retards realize that this the baby is already born at this point and needs support! And since it is half yours you should support it.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, because in most states it is required that the man must pay the equivilent amount of money that they were using when the two parents split. If a man supports his chldren and wife and is making $100,000 a year, he must keep paying the amount required for his children to live that same lifestyle. It ahppens more than you think. But, there would be no bitching if the courts were fair, Virtually every child goes with the mother, only in extreme cases (mom is doing drugs or prostituting) while the father is a clearly better parent will he actually be given custody, the divorce system has been set up recently to help struggling women, but recently women have become more educated and more able to be independant. What's going on is unfair and I would even say sexist, the better parent should have custody, if that's the woman so be it.

    If on the other hand the dad is just a dead beat who has the money but refuses to pay it, he is just being an asshole.

    • yeah the kid should go with who makes more money you have to pay more you should get to see your kid more

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    • my mom left she wasn't a prostitute or on drugs she was getting her phd.,

      my dad raised 4 kids, while in grad school. he didn't complain. she sent child support -but I don't think very much, a few thousand a year, sometimes..

    • check out my question here might find interesting


What Guys Said 77

  • Support your children? Yes!

    Support your ex's lavish lifestyle, with less than a third of your child support money being used for the kids in any way (including rent/utilities/clothes/food, etc.), while the guy rents a room and eats bulk-pack hotdogs and ramen noodles? No.

    The problem is that child support money doesn't have to be accounted for, and for every deadbeat dad, there is a deadbeat mom who takes the bulk of the child support money and spends it mostly on herself.

    My coworker drives an $800 car, rents a $550 room in someone's house, and has about $400 left over for to pay for gas, food, and clothes. He has no internet, no pay TV, and only his work cell phone. All of his "extra" money is saved for his two daughters, and his twice-a-year trips to see them, since his ex moved 650 miles away with them to be with her boyfriend.

    She lives in a new house, drives a 2010 Mustang GT, goes clothes shopping regularly, has sat TV with sports packages and the latest cell gadges (cell phones & iPad), while she buys their daughters' clothes at Walmart and Goodwill. Last year, she went on a week-long cruise to the Carribean and had another 2-week vacation in Spain.

    How can this happen? Simple: she was awarded $1800/month in child support, while his take-home pay is under $3000/month. Did I mention that he worked and put her through RN school, and then paid back her college loans? And that she divorced him as soon as they were paid off? And that she has taken him back to court several times to get child support increases?

    And while this example is extreme, I know at least a dozen men with similar, but less extreme situations.

    The court only looks at who made the money and how much. They don't look at the fact that he put her through school and paid her loans; in fact, they used that against him.

    When she was awarded the house (the kids needed a place to live), he lost his tax deduction and took a big tax hit too.

    He has no problem paying to support his kids, but the court is forcing him to support her lifestyle, while allowing his to be little more than a slave.

    When the system stops allowing absuses ON BOTH SIDES, then we can talk.

    • I used to know a 39 year old man working full time in a similar situation. Got milked for everything he had by his ex wife who worked 3 days a week max, took the kids and all. He dropped down 20 years or some years in his life because of the incident and had to move back in with his parents. He committed suicide a few months ago all because of one woman who tore his life apart.

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    • Then there are the ex-wives who knowingly abuse and often defraud the system, and worse, their own children, so they can "live large" off of the child support they use the courts to squeeze their ex for, FAR above what is reasonable to take care of the kids. This is hugely common.

    • And then there are the mothers who do everything right and their man won't pay anything. I have NO problem getting the court on them, but I also think that what they should be paying should be *reasonable*, and in no case more than 1/4 of their gross income. Many women drive men "underground" because they can't survive with 45% of their gross income (60+% after taxes) being forcably taken. And it should also be tied to visitation rights, with abuses of that costing support money.

  • Most of 'child support' goes to paying a woman we want nothing to do with any longer, that's why. If it really was for our kid we wouldn't complain.

    • do you have any proof that it goes straight to the woman and not the child.

    • I think usually when father pays child support it goes through their hands first taking their cut or whatever and then it's handy directly to the mother. She chooses wheter it's for her or the children.

  • It's like kicking them.

    In their b@lls or in their wallet. The wallet hurts most, of course.

  • What kind of men do you LIVE with?

    A baby is NEVER a mistake why do you even call it that?

    I know there are bad people, and guys like that exist. But just because you have not run into a good guy (Mind you) you have no right to call us some inherent retards or jerks or complainers. There are shallow girls and shallow guys. Guys are not shallow nor are girls. So stop this bland generalization.

    Secondly if a girl haves sex with a complete douche bag its her fault. If a GUY sleeps with a woman who blackmails him it's HIS fault. So whatever the gender may be, If you make babies with the wrong person it is your fault equally so take responsibility for your actions

  • In some ways I've always thought that the process of paying child support was not always fairly done. There is some arbitrary dollar amount that is supposed to be a value assigned to the rearing of a child. I've always believed that if child support is part of the equation then it should fall that the actual cost of raising a child should be evaluated and made sure that both parties are as equally involved with monetary support. Even if this means assigning a dollar value to the actual hours spent care-taking.

    To play the devils advocate as it were, it takes two to make a child. If there are sexual relations and both parties are aware that having children is not part of the equation then if a child is accidentally conceived then both parties will need to take responsibility. If the woman decides to give birth to the child, why can't the father insist the child be given up for adoption. After all, it was neither parties intention to have a child so why should the guy suffer just because the woman decides she wants to raise the child on her own?

    So some guys might resent the fact that a child is not something they wanted and were well aware that steps were being taken to prevent pregnancy in the first place. So when a child does come into the picture a guy is wondering why he should pay for something he never wanted in the first place when it would be easier to simply give the child up for adoption.

    So enough of being the devils advocate.

    Personally I'd do what I could to support the child and I would have taken the time to discuss adoption as well as keeping the child in the context of not what we as the parents want, but rather what is the best for the child. I also would insist on being part of the child's life and instead of paying support, I would rather provide support by being a part of the child rearing process. If both parents can equally share in the raising of a child, then there should be no child support issues.

    I would venture to guess that the reason women complain far less than guys is because it's the woman who has already cared for the child before birth and there is already a connection there. Paying child support isn't seen as a hardship, but as actual support for the child. Guys may see the money as being paid to the parent and women may see it as money being paid to the child.

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What Girls Said 23

  • Ever heard of a man having full custody and getting child support form a woman? Pretty rare... even more rare is a man bitching about it (because they don't). My fiancee has full custody and recieves nothing from the mother. Courts won't do anything about it because (and read this carefully)... because he is not on welfare of any kind. Once a woman is pregnant, men have no rights.

    I completely understand the system of child support, and how it is SUPPOSED to help. But it is a system that is too easily abused as men's rights are stripped as soon as an embryo is fertilized. Society is telling men that their only value as a father is their money. Nothing else is considered. NOTHING. A few years ago I would have agreed that dead beat fathers disgust me, then I started dating a man with children and realized the absolute hell they can be forced to go through if the woman has any slight grudge against him. What really ticks me off is it is the guys that stick around and do their best to follow the laws that usually get screwed in the end. The guys that run off at the first word of missed period that get off scott free.

    • That's what I'm talking about. Its so easy for most girls to fire off at the mouth cause they watch too man talk shows but most men are not like that in their child/custody/child support situations and are getting royaly screwed. Bravo to you for taking a stand amongs all the raging feminist and laying down some hard cold TRUTH.

  • To the guys that are Willing to have The child Well its not fair for a start. The guy does not get to live with this child and Can pay more than The mother. If they didn't want The child suck it up and grow up. Its a part of life. Baby Is born = life.

    Dont want to pay in life like everyone else don't live in it.

  • well from my experience, I'm going to say yes, the guy should have to pay child support. my mom married a complete asshole, and she was with him for ten years (married) and had both me and my brother. he never wanted either one of his children, and he basically ignored us all the time. never worked, never did anything to help. so, my mom divorced him. she had two kids already, she didn't want to take care of a third one. anyway, after she divorced him, he was ordered to pay child support, and he did for a while, but shortly after the checks stopped coming. my mom was too worn down to take him to trial, so she just struggled on as best as she could. so as a result, my mom worked at a dead end job, and could barely afford to make rent and feed me and my brother. so should a guy pay child support? f*** yes.

    on the other hand, if the guy marries a complete bitch who divorces him and takes all his money and only spends it on herself, then of course he shouldn't be giving her anything. however, the legal system is screwed up and imperfect, so there's no way to make sure that the money is used for the children.

    if the mother in question is single, and young, without a good source of income, I believe that the guy should be forced to pay child support, whether he likes it or not. otherwise it's not fair to the mother or her poor children. on the other hand, if a woman divorces her rich husband, and her children are say teenagers, and she can afford to take care of them herself, then I think it's stupid to make the guy fork over money that won't even be used on the children anyway. that's my opinion

    • how about this scenario a guy whose a waiter in a restraunt mets and falls in love with a woman of substance but before the final vows he signs a prenup saying if anything happens he leaves with what he came into the marraige with. he agrees latter on down the road the woman divorces him after having child. the man is now forced to pay child support on a waiters salary while the wife is a multimillioniar does that sound fair. yes its his child but he's penniless because all is taken from him.

  • Well, a bit harsh Anonymous...I wouldn't be so quick to generalize all men.

    I've seen it both ways. My exhusband (even when he was seeing the kids) only paid a 1/3 of what he was court mandated to do so. I didn't call him out on it because, quite frankly, I didn't give a damn about his money. I left the marriage with nothing and didn't expect anything. As in, I didn't ask for child support even though I really could have used all of it.

    Now that he isn't seeing the kids at all (by court order), he refuses to pay anything because he isn't seeing them... Hmmm...for someone who professed to love them that much and would do whatever it took to see them happy blah blah blah has decided that he is going to pay nothing. Whatever.

    The man that I'm with now pays MORE than what he really has to but that's because he wants to. He feels that he is responsible (as much as his former wife) for the welfare of the children.

    I think it boils down to the personality of the man but I won't generalize. In my case, his farm and working on the rigs was far too important than paying $600 for 2 kids per month (although he only paid $200 for both). In his case, it was vindiction. He was convinced that I was wasting the money on myself and not the kids. Why not an RRSP or savings account then?

    That's gotta make you think...

  • because men are for the most part selfish and immature

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