Why do guys whine and bitch so much about paying child support?
I mean seriously I practically never hear girls complain as much as guys. They say man I didn't want this kid why should I have to pay for it,... Show More
Most Helpful Opinion
Well, because in most states it is required that the man must pay the equivilent amount of money that they were using when the two parents split. If a man supports his chldren and wife and is making $100,000 a year, he must keep paying the amount required for his children to live that same lifestyle. It ahppens more than you think. But, there would be no bitching if the courts were fair, Virtually every child goes with the mother, only in extreme cases (mom is doing drugs or prostituting) while the father is a clearly better parent will he actually be given custody, the divorce system has been set up recently to help struggling women, but recently women have become more educated and more able to be independant. What's going on is unfair and I would even say sexist, the better parent should have custody, if that's the woman so be it.
If on the other hand the dad is just a dead beat who has the money but refuses to pay it, he is just being an asshole.
What Guys Said 77
Most of 'child support' goes to paying a woman we want nothing to do with any longer, that's why. If it really was for our kid we wouldn't complain.
It's like kicking them.
In their b@lls or in their wallet. The wallet hurts most, of course.
Support your children? Yes!
Support your ex's lavish lifestyle, with less than a third of your child support money being used for the kids in any way (including rent/utilities/clothes/food, etc.), while the guy rents a room and eats bulk-pack hotdogs and ramen noodles? No.
The problem is that child support money doesn't have to be accounted for, and for every deadbeat dad, there is a deadbeat mom who takes the bulk of the child support money and spends it mostly on herself.
My coworker drives an $800 car, rents a $550 room in someone's house, and has about $400 left over for to pay for gas, food, and clothes. He has no internet, no pay TV, and only his work cell phone. All of his "extra" money is saved for his two daughters, and his twice-a-year trips to see them, since his ex moved 650 miles away with them to be with her boyfriend.
She lives in a new house, drives a 2010 Mustang GT, goes clothes shopping regularly, has sat TV with sports packages and the latest cell gadges (cell phones & iPad), while she buys their daughters' clothes at Walmart and Goodwill. Last year, she went on a week-long cruise to the Carribean and had another 2-week vacation in Spain.
How can this happen? Simple: she was awarded $1800/month in child support, while his take-home pay is under $3000/month. Did I mention that he worked and put her through RN school, and then paid back her college loans? And that she divorced him as soon as they were paid off? And that she has taken him back to court several times to get child support increases?
And while this example is extreme, I know at least a dozen men with similar, but less extreme situations.
The court only looks at who made the money and how much. They don't look at the fact that he put her through school and paid her loans; in fact, they used that against him.
When she was awarded the house (the kids needed a place to live), he lost his tax deduction and took a big tax hit too.
He has no problem paying to support his kids, but the court is forcing him to support her lifestyle, while allowing his to be little more than a slave.
When the system stops allowing absuses ON BOTH SIDES, then we can talk.
No your right and men should step up and pay for their own mistakes, I don't understand how a bloke could deliberately watch his son/daughter go without or struggle that little bit more because he can't be arsed to pay for what was made during one night of selfishness, why should the child suffer, when the child had no say in the matter of being brought into this world, so if any man can sit there and watch his child go hungry or go to school without proper shoes or have her hair done nice or anything else the child may need in its years towards adulthood, then personally, I hope that man suffers later on in life, because people would give their right arm to be able to have that honour, but the woman must apolagise for ever allowing such a man to get close enough to her to get her pregnant, because it does take two, but both parents should pay I agree.
Just my opininon but I think it is wrong to force someone to pay something that they might not even wanted, sure the guy is a jackass and should have been more careful but saying you don't want a an abortion get over it, is fine but you should have a baby if your emotionally and financially stable if not get aborted, adoption or raise it yourself but don't expect someone to then pay money towards you
Think of it this way, would the child want to be raised with no money and not see his father but still get money from him, obviously because of your religious views I can't change your opinion but I don't think it is right to force somebody to do something against their will
if girls can have abortion men should not have to pay child support we should also have the right to walk away its bullsh*t that's its not legal this is discrimination
They whine about paying child support because girls are so nasty about it, like they DESERVE it for their smokes and drugs. If you didn't want "this kid" as you say, why get so nasty about demanding custody? Chill out.
I fail to see what DNA has to do with anything. By that logic each of my parents has contributed 25% to the DNA of any child I father, so they should pay, right? And if I had an identical twin, surely he would have to pay as much as I, as his DNA is in there as much as mine (indeed it would probably be impossible to prove which one of us is the true father).
why do girls feel the need to entrap their men, lying about their birth control?
most dudes who bitch and moan are just assholes and dead beats who don't wanna do sh*t if its not for them. but then again there is a percentage of girls who do some shady sh*t to make themselves pregnant just to keep the guy. they will poke holes with a needle in condoms. you even hear about rock stars and rappers who say that groupies will try and use a turkey baster and a used condom to get themselves pregnant. and of course they guy has to pay the child support regardless.
Guys get no say in whether or not they keep the child. I do actually support the idea that it is the woman's choice as to whether or not she gets an abortion. My personal thought on the matter is that if the guy doesn't want the baby, and the girl does, there should be some method in which he doesn't have to pay child support. By consequence to this, he would give up all parenting rights to the child. In the case where the girl didn't want the baby, the guy did, and the girl didn't want to go through with an abortion, she'd be able to do something similar.
That's my hypothetical system, you can give whatever feedback you want on it. With the current system: guys don't want to be paying money to support a child that they barely get to see, except for extenuating circumstances custody is nearly always awarded to the mother, there is no guarantee that the money they're paying is supporting child instead of its mother, and guys didn't get a decision, she did, and now they have to live with it.
we don't get to chose if we want to abort...
I wanted her to have an abortion, she didn't. You say "get over it". Using the same logic, it also should mean "she wants me to pay child support, I don't. Get over it". Sounds equal.
So if it's her body, her responsibility, her decision etc... There's no mention about "his" whatsoever. Then why he have to pay for it? That's reason #1.
How do you say it in the US? "No taxation without representation"?
Second, it's unlikely that all money will be spent entirely on the baby. Usually when I hear about child support, amount of money that a guy must pay is kinda high and often more than enough to keep baby happy and healthy. So, where the rest of the money is going?
Remember, folks, it's easier to stage some "accident" with your wife and keep the child.
if I was in that position I would fight to the bitter end, every last resource I could muster even at the cost of bankrupcy to get custody of that child and make her pay child support.
abortion should be illegal and men should pay pay pay...their child support...too many times women choose not to have the kid even if the man would pay...so take abortion out and make men pay...that would create equal rights
"If a girl didn't want an abortion, oh well get over it. She made her decision you'll just have to live with it."
I don't agree. It is both of their child. The mother MUST take the father's opinion into consideration as well and decide together. The baby doesn't JUST belong to the mother. Like you said, half of it's DNA is from the father.
Also, for God's sake, please don't post stuff while you are angry. Go take a nap, or do something fun, and then come back and post it. Or you just end up insulting the GaG community. ("one of you retards", "Why can't you retards", "Why do guys whine and bitch so much", etc.)
lets take a step back here...stop generlizing us men by calling us retarded and assuming every guy is the same...its like saying every girl is a bitch...so lets rephrase your next question and not generlize a gender here, ok?...k, good...
to answer your question, I have no idea why men wont, maybe they're broke? they're obviously immature to not understand that he came in you w/o thinking of possibly consequences...they're dead - well yeah that one would be obvious ...they're just straight up scum bags and don't care about anyone but themselves...
those are really the only things I could think of...i do agree with you and think every man should support his child, regardless if he wants to be a parent or not...
but again, please don't generalize, it just makes you look childish
Well women have the choice of keeping the child, giving it up for adoption, or aborting it. Men are not given that choice. So women who really don't want the child won't keep it. As for women not complaining about child support.
Census figures show only 57 percent of moms required to pay child support -- 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 -- give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.
That compares with 68 percent of dads who pay up, according to the figures.
This is from foxnews.com
men that get have to pay for the kid,s and bitch about it are ass hole,s and if you are going to play you are going to have to pay for it and don,t cry a bout it if you hit it you have pay and stop whine about it and be a man and step up to the plate and do the right thing for you,r kid,s
Guys complain cause they repeatly ask for a abortion, and they even offer to pay for it and the woman agree to it, Most women keep the baby because they still like the guy and his money for child support, cause really if you don't like the guy, why give birth to the baby and deal with an ex for 18 to 23 years, that makes no since,
Cause their financially corrupted social groups who live just for the excitement that life is power and through money they believe they'll get respect and refuse to pay child support even if it's their child.
I don't complain about it but I'll be glad when I don't have to anymore
Yes its stupid...child support isn't even that much cosndiering how much really goes into raising a kid...just because you send a check doesn't make you a supportive father. BUT...I will say this...why is it that I would be expected to pay for a kid I don't want...and yet if the woman won't get an abortion or adopt it out...i still have to BUT the woman can, without my consent..even if I'm pleading with her to keep the baby..she can suck our kid and crush his bones with a vaccum tube and I have ZERO say. I'm an atheist but I'm anti-abortion and it makes dating impossbile seeing as how virtually ALL pro-life girls are uppity Christian zealots...If I was a woman...it wouldn't matter who I slept with because no guy can force me to abort...but I'm a guy so I would be at the mercy of the woman...she could destroy our unborn child without my consent...I think its inconsistent:
A man who gets a woman pregnant but refuses to be a dad...is a deadbeat loser
A mom who gets pregnant and chooses to get rid of her baby by killing it...shes just "pro-choice".
I agree...but I also think that women should be able to have an abortion against the guys will if he is willing to raise the child.
i believe a guy should support what's his. hoewever it should be fair. in many cases the child support puts many guys especially in the age braket you have here(18-24) where their entire salaries are being taken leaving them with nothing to pay their own bills with. unless they are living with said girl. many of these guys because they pay child support can't even get foodstamps and if they are able the amount is so low it makes it not even worth going to apply for it. and in many cases they can't get any other fianacial assistance because of said child support once agencies find out the guys checks are being taken by garnishing to pay child support. it doesn't stop there does the guy get a break at the end of the yerat income tax time "no " all that also goes to child support.
again if its fair and equatable to both parties I believe a guy should also a test should also be given to verify if child is the guys as well.
cause you don't know how the money is used...
I think you have it aaaalll wrong. See, REAL men get a job, a career even, before they decide to have kids. REAL men wrap it up if they don't want a kid, not "going raw" and being stupid as sht. REAL men LOVE providing for their family, Yes FAMILY SINGULAR, not a ton of little demons he has spawned all across the world. These are all things that REAL men do, not the fake mofos that you're talking about.
I hate it how when a couple retarded fools that don't know anything about life get all of us good men out here generalized. Stop going after the fools that don't care about you and let a REAL man in!
do you really want to get into a debate about the nonsense the 2 sexes complain about..your team dear would lose in a most sad fashion..but if you dare
There's also the question of whether or not it really is *his* child. A woman knows for a fact if a child is hers or not, but a guy, especially a guy who doesn't want to pay child support, will always have that doubt, no matter what, even with DNA tests.
That said, the dudes who complain the most are deadbeats.
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What Girls Said 23
because men are for the most part selfish and immature
my dad paid a dime of child support, being a signle parent is the one of the hardest thing in the world, my mom worked her ass off. men should support their kids, I would if I was a guy
I can tell you why my brother b!tches about paying child support. He spoils his kids rotten and buys his boys everything. Theyre 5 and 7 and they both have Iphones and Ipads. He buys them expensive clothes, pays fpr their private schools and pretty much anything they want. He gives his ex 1300.00 a month for child support and she doesn't spend anything on them. I know you're probably gonna say that they don't need Iphones or other stuff, but if he don't buy them stuff, she won't either. Most guys would probably give the 1300 and tell their kids to ask their mother for money. I'm sorry but 1300 is a lot of money for 2 kids. Child support is to support the kids, not tje Ex wife that is to lazy and does not want to work. How many moms out there get child support and still get help from the government cause they choose to be on welfare? The system should be changed. If fathers support their kids, they should not have to pay child support. Women, and this I know because I have friends that get child support. Women use child support to support themselves. My friend has a 2010 truck that she pays with my brothers child support.
alot of the time its the girls with the baby or child so that's why they don't whine about child support. but a lot of guys don't wnat the kids that they are paying for and would have prefered to have them aborted (not saying I support abortion)
my mom never got a penny the whole time she bought me up on her own on benefits
Well, a bit harsh Anonymous...I wouldn't be so quick to generalize all men.
I've seen it both ways. My exhusband (even when he was seeing the kids) only paid a 1/3 of what he was court mandated to do so. I didn't call him out on it because, quite frankly, I didn't give a damn about his money. I left the marriage with nothing and didn't expect anything. As in, I didn't ask for child support even though I really could have used all of it.
Now that he isn't seeing the kids at all (by court order), he refuses to pay anything because he isn't seeing them... Hmmm...for someone who professed to love them that much and would do whatever it took to see them happy blah blah blah has decided that he is going to pay nothing. Whatever.
The man that I'm with now pays MORE than what he really has to but that's because he wants to. He feels that he is responsible (as much as his former wife) for the welfare of the children.
I think it boils down to the personality of the man but I won't generalize. In my case, his farm and working on the rigs was far too important than paying $600 for 2 kids per month (although he only paid $200 for both). In his case, it was vindiction. He was convinced that I was wasting the money on myself and not the kids. Why not an RRSP or savings account then?
That's gotta make you think...
Ever heard of a man having full custody and getting child support form a woman? Pretty rare... even more rare is a man bitching about it (because they don't). My fiancee has full custody and recieves nothing from the mother. Courts won't do anything about it because (and read this carefully)... because he is not on welfare of any kind. Once a woman is pregnant, men have no rights.
I completely understand the system of child support, and how it is SUPPOSED to help. But it is a system that is too easily abused as men's rights are stripped as soon as an embryo is fertilized. Society is telling men that their only value as a father is their money. Nothing else is considered. NOTHING. A few years ago I would have agreed that dead beat fathers disgust me, then I started dating a man with children and realized the absolute hell they can be forced to go through if the woman has any slight grudge against him. What really ticks me off is it is the guys that stick around and do their best to follow the laws that usually get screwed in the end. The guys that run off at the first word of missed period that get off scott free.
To the guys that are Willing to have The child Well its not fair for a start. The guy does not get to live with this child and Can pay more than The mother. If they didn't want The child suck it up and grow up. Its a part of life. Baby Is born = life.
Dont want to pay in life like everyone else don't live in it.
well from my experience, I'm going to say yes, the guy should have to pay child support. my mom married a complete asshole, and she was with him for ten years (married) and had both me and my brother. he never wanted either one of his children, and he basically ignored us all the time. never worked, never did anything to help. so, my mom divorced him. she had two kids already, she didn't want to take care of a third one. anyway, after she divorced him, he was ordered to pay child support, and he did for a while, but shortly after the checks stopped coming. my mom was too worn down to take him to trial, so she just struggled on as best as she could. so as a result, my mom worked at a dead end job, and could barely afford to make rent and feed me and my brother. so should a guy pay child support? f*** yes.
on the other hand, if the guy marries a complete bitch who divorces him and takes all his money and only spends it on herself, then of course he shouldn't be giving her anything. however, the legal system is screwed up and imperfect, so there's no way to make sure that the money is used for the children.
if the mother in question is single, and young, without a good source of income, I believe that the guy should be forced to pay child support, whether he likes it or not. otherwise it's not fair to the mother or her poor children. on the other hand, if a woman divorces her rich husband, and her children are say teenagers, and she can afford to take care of them herself, then I think it's stupid to make the guy fork over money that won't even be used on the children anyway. that's my opinion
they would rather spend their money on their new girlfriend.
Because their intentions initially (before the baby came) was to behaving fun and screw with your brain/emotions/vagina! Now that their actions have screwed them they have become bitches and wine more than the baby does! Good for them...
Vonda G. Nelson
agreed to an extent, they shouldn't whine about it as long as they get to see the child on a regular basis.
they think the women will use the money for herself
I think child support is filled with emotions that cloud the truth. Since you actually pay it to the ex and not to the child, it can become a big issue when your ex actually has to ask you or push for the support. That is why I am a big fan of the court system taking it out of paychecks so two people that obviously did not get along very well in the first place are not in the position of playing collection agency every month.
I do think the awarding of child support is not very equitable and I feel that with the economic downturn there are some flaws that have gotten worse. For instance, if you made a good amount of money at one point but due to the economy cannot make the same income, it doesn't necessarily mean you can have your support payments reduced. My fiance is in a difficult position because of this and it appears the courts just expect he should be able to make the same income eventually even though he is making less than his ex. Every month is a struggle and he owes back support from a period of time that he was not making enough money to cover the support.
I am a woman that is paying support to my ex. I can see my ex is doing well, with a new luxury car and still able to own the large home we had together in our divorce. It makes me wonder that what I pay is too much but because he owns a business and it doesn't appear to be doing much better than when we divorced, heaven only knows what would happen. We get along well now, so the idea of fighting over this now is just not worth it.
And, yes, there are some men out there that have no interest in caring either physically or financially for their children. They don't care, don't want to see them and don't want to take money they could spend on other activities and use it for a child. It sucks, but it happens.
ha yeah the more they whine the more they should pay
Yes, I agree, you shouldn't rely on the government to take care of your mistake. You should own up to your responabilities. But, in their defense, nobody likes losing money.
Because they are selfish bastards & don't care about their own kids.
because if you were a one night stand he would have never have had to pay for sh*t.
by being a reliable human being, he also becomes responsible for accidents that really you could have gotten an abortion for..
when there is no societal structure, women are responsible for their children.
and womens right are recent
but most of ALL, he probably has to hate you deep down if he can't even be with you even though you bore his children. so why would he want to give you money, even if it all indirectly goes to pay for his children
yea its going to pay the kids not you, but when you're handing the check over guys think short term and hate the feeling
just sayin da truth
They are big kids
Choose better men
Yeah, girls are going to be frustrated about that but at the same time she decided to spread her legs and allow him to inseminate her anyway. I can see why guys would complain about it especially if the child isn't in his life like that like if he doesn't see the child that often. He's paying his hard earned money for a baby of a woman that he doesn't date or have any romantic interest in. I definitely think he should take responsibility for his actions but I can see how that would be annoying.
f***ing your a retard and all other dumb ass bitches that don't care about them self and jus want love and a man will GIVE IT TO You BY HAVING SEX N You GET PREGO..MAYBE You ALL SHOULD HAVE SEX TILL You ARE READY OR GET ON F***IG ASS BITHCONTROL DUMBASSS SICK
I am not suggesting that all children that are born into a world where one parent doesn't want it that he shouldn't pay for it, but here's something you might want to think on. I know there are many reasons, but how about women, who have children and then give them up for adoption, they no longer pay for that child, no longer care for it, they give it up...and they don't always consult the father..they just do it.
Why can't you see, that just because a sperm is given, that it means the guy must always be responsible for it? Men can't ever get pregnant, they cannot ever make this decision for themselves. It will always be the womans choice whether or not to have it. AND I know what abortion is thanks, I have had one...so I know what affect it can have on women, but still when I had this abortion I didn't just do it, I spoke to the father too, I asked him what he would want, and as ADULTS we discussed it and BOTH came to the decision that we had only been together a few months and weren't ready for the responsibility.
BUT had I chosen to have the kid, and he was adamant he didn't want it, then no, I would not then later ask him to pay up, simply because I CHOSE, to have the kid, KNOWING full well he didn't want it...it was MY choice and if I believe I am ready to have a child then I SHOULD DAMN WELL BE READY TO SUPPORT IT.
Doesn't really matter what you think of me for saying this, the simple fact is, if a GUY DID WANT THE CHILD, AND THE MOTHER GOT RID OF IT, PEOPLE WOULD SAY, OH WELL ITS HER BODY SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE...
I know what FINACIAL abortion is, I get what it means, but at the same time, men can't chose and that's a FACT and if you girls don't want to get pregnant THEN DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM WHEN HE HASN'T GOT ANY PROTECTION. SIMPLE!
Ok, female input. I have issues with this as a female because, you're right in that its your body and its your choice, and not everyone agrees with abortion. However, you call it his 'mistake' girl it ain't just up to the man to put something on it..everyone to the man, and to the female has a responsibility to use contreception if they don't want a child, and if you don't and you get pregnant and you chose to keep the baby, then that is your choice. Lets be honest if a 'mistake' occurs the man actually has no say...he isn't the one who is pregnant, and he can't physically make the choice, only the women can do something about it. If men were the ones who got pregnant, things might be a little different...and after all, you said it, it is half his DNA.
If, lets say you and your man are together and you've been together for a while, you have a child, it wasn't planned but you both wanted it anyway. Then two years down the line you split, and he decides he don't want anything to do with the child, he don't want to pay for it, and he don't even want to see it. Then yes, I would say in this case senario he needs to take responsibility for his child because when it was concieved he was happy for it to go ahead. and yes I believe he should pay what the goverment says he should.
But some girls, and it does happen, get pregnant, have the child, despite the guy not wanting it, and then force and complain that this guy isn't doing his duty for his child. I am not a feminist, but I do feel that, if a mistake occurs and (actually its not a mistake if you didn't use anything, because well that's what happens when sex is unprotected) But I do feel that, because the guy can't actually physically do anything about it, that the girl is actually trapping him into this by having it. Where's the men's rights? why should men be trapped into something they have no control over in any way.
i actually think men should have the right to decide in cases where, it was a mistake, they're no longer with the girl, it might have been a casual thing, or one night stand, to whether they keep it or not, because just because nature gave it to the woman to carry, doesn't make it her god given right to tell men they should then take responsibility for it. And if the case is it was a mistake, the guy don't want it, but the girl has it because she wants it, then no, I don't think men should pay. Because the man as I have already pointed out, cannot physically do anything about it.
Sorry but, the baby thing is so much more complicated then how you make it.