Why do guys whine and bitch so much about paying child support?

I mean seriously I practically never hear girls complain as much as guys. They say man I didn't want this kid why should I have to pay for it, because whether you like it your DNA is running around and the government shouldn't have to pay for your mistake. If a girl didn't want an abortion, oh well get over it. She made her decision you'll just have to live with it. Have fun paying child support. And I already one of you retards are gonna her body...her choice...her responsibility, fake as philosopher. Why can't you retards realize that this the baby is already born at this point and needs support! And since it is half yours you should support it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, because in most states it is required that the man must pay the equivilent amount of money that they were using when the two parents split. If a man supports his chldren and wife and is making $100,000 a year, he must keep paying the amount required for his children to live that same lifestyle. It ahppens more than you think. But, there would be no bitching if the courts were fair, Virtually every child goes with the mother, only in extreme cases (mom is doing drugs or prostituting) while the father is a clearly better parent will he actually be given custody, the divorce system has been set up recently to help struggling women, but recently women have become more educated and more able to be independant. What's going on is unfair and I would even say sexist, the better parent should have custody, if that's the woman so be it.

    If on the other hand the dad is just a dead beat who has the money but refuses to pay it, he is just being an asshole.

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    • yeah the kid should go with who makes more money you have to pay more you should get to see your kid more

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    • my mom left she wasn't a prostitute or on drugs she was getting her phd.,

      my dad raised 4 kids, while in grad school. he didn't complain. she sent child support -but I don't think very much, a few thousand a year, sometimes..

    • check out my question here might find interesting

      link

What Guys Said 76

  • Support your children? Yes!

    Support your ex's lavish lifestyle, with less than a third of your child support money being used for the kids in any way (including rent/utilities/clothes/food, etc.), while the guy rents a room and eats bulk-pack hotdogs and ramen noodles? No.

    The problem is that child support money doesn't have to be accounted for, and for every deadbeat dad, there is a deadbeat mom who takes the bulk of the child support money and spends it mostly on herself.

    My coworker drives an $800 car, rents a $550 room in someone's house, and has about $400 left over for to pay for gas, food, and clothes. He has no internet, no pay TV, and only his work cell phone. All of his "extra" money is saved for his two daughters, and his twice-a-year trips to see them, since his ex moved 650 miles away with them to be with her boyfriend.

    She lives in a new house, drives a 2010 Mustang GT, goes clothes shopping regularly, has sat TV with sports packages and the latest cell gadges (cell phones & iPad), while she buys their daughters' clothes at Walmart and Goodwill. Last year, she went on a week-long cruise to the Carribean and had another 2-week vacation in Spain.

    How can this happen? Simple: she was awarded $1800/month in child support, while his take-home pay is under $3000/month. Did I mention that he worked and put her through RN school, and then paid back her college loans? And that she divorced him as soon as they were paid off? And that she has taken him back to court several times to get child support increases?

    And while this example is extreme, I know at least a dozen men with similar, but less extreme situations.

    The court only looks at who made the money and how much. They don't look at the fact that he put her through school and paid her loans; in fact, they used that against him.

    When she was awarded the house (the kids needed a place to live), he lost his tax deduction and took a big tax hit too.

    He has no problem paying to support his kids, but the court is forcing him to support her lifestyle, while allowing his to be little more than a slave.

    When the system stops allowing absuses ON BOTH SIDES, then we can talk.

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    • I used to know a 39 year old man working full time in a similar situation. Got milked for everything he had by his ex wife who worked 3 days a week max, took the kids and all. He dropped down 20 years or some years in his life because of the incident and had to move back in with his parents. He committed suicide a few months ago all because of one woman who tore his life apart.

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    • Then there are the ex-wives who knowingly abuse and often defraud the system, and worse, their own children, so they can "live large" off of the child support they use the courts to squeeze their ex for, FAR above what is reasonable to take care of the kids. This is hugely common.

    • And then there are the mothers who do everything right and their man won't pay anything. I have NO problem getting the court on them, but I also think that what they should be paying should be *reasonable*, and in no case more than 1/4 of their gross income. Many women drive men "underground" because they can't survive with 45% of their gross income (60+% after taxes) being forcably taken. And it should also be tied to visitation rights, with abuses of that costing support money.

  • the judicial system. dudes working 3 jobs to afford the outrageous child support ammounts on even ONE child that the mom fought with teeth and nails for in court. a man is the enemy of the state the minute he walks into a courtroom when there is a woman involved. who gets custody? women. If a crazy B1TC# comes swinging at her man with knife and he shoves her on her butt to try to get away, who wins that with the police? women. I'm no lawer but I spent years as a DFCS investigator and sat through A LOT of cases waiting on mine to come up. you wouldn't believe the men I have seen getting torched in court with all kinds of evidence stacked against the women. I know a damn good man right now working 70 hr work weeks of hard labor, living in a trailer park, eating ramen noodles everyday, cause outrageous child support is breaking his back on just one kid and the mom is spending about 10% on the child and spending the rest on herself and going on riverboat gambling trips with her new man. He loves his child and only get's to see him every other weekend. That's 4 days a month! The way child suppport is now, guys are having 75% of their income taken while some girl gets her hair and nails done off of it. And he can't even try to have any kind of a life and ever have hopes of finding love because 1) he can't afford it. 2) he can't take off work from his third job to go on a date. Yall need to look at the other side of things once and a while and quit all this male bashing. Cause for every deadbeat dad there is a deadbeat mom, leaving her baby with its grandparents so she can tear the club up and make even more illigetimate kids.

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  • "I mean seriously I practically never hear girls complain as much as guys."

    That is because the majority of those who pay child support are men. Paternity fraud is abundant and not only effects men but it also effects women as well. Imagine paying for a child that isn't yours. Having your paycheck garnished because some bitch decided to take your husband to court to pay child support for a child he didn't even know he had.

    In this day and age were women have just as many rights if not more than men do we still need have child support? Women are always saying that they don't need men then come after us to pay for child support under the guise of "you need to live up to your responsibility". What about your responsibility as a woman. How about you stop having sex with dead beats and losers then expecting them to magically change into responsible adults because your pregnant and deciding to keep it. Why should a man be held financially responsible for your decision. Men only have condoms and they are about 90%-95% effective at best assuming you use it properly and the date has not expired. Women have well over a dozen forms of birth control and I don't buy that I can't be on birth control because I'm allergic. There are simply too many choices to pick from. The old saying is true that with great power comes great responsibility. Men should not get punished paying for 18 years or more of support for having sex. We as men need to have sex with responsible women. Women who are on the same page as us. People are having sex at much earlier ages from as early as 9 years old. People need to be realistic about this. Men should only have sex with responsible individuals who know where you stand on the issue of pregnancy. When I have sex I tell the woman I do not want kids. I do not believe in accidents. I use condoms 100% of time even if they tell me they are on the pill. I will not sleep with a woman who does not use some form of birth control be it the pill or some other form of birth control that is not hormonal. With the advances in medicine unwanted pregnancies should be a thing of the past. People are going to have sex that just the way it is. I've know women who got pregnant and went behind the husband's/boyfriend's back and got an abortion because they didn't want the child. Women can give up their baby for adoption with no stigma. Why is it okay for a woman to walk away from her responsibility but not a man? And don't say it's because it's her body. I wouldn't want you coming off as being some "...fake as philosopher." If you can't afford to have a child don't have one. If the agreement is not mutual between both parties don't have one. Bringing a child into this world under these circumstances I truly believe to be another form of child abuse. The child does not deserve that. And by the way, what kind of woman would bring a child into this world who's father is an irresponsible dead beat. Jeez, thanks mom.

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    • that's the problem men aren't being responsible, and if a women decides to have a child, and can't afford to raise it on her own the govt. is going to make the man pay. why should the govt, and tax payers have to pay for the man's mistake?

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    • Have you ever actually met a single mother? Most are struggling with the money they even get. I don't know where you're from, but you definantly live in lala land if you think they have it easy. A lot of them live in poverty, while the father goes on knocking up other women and not emotionally supporting any of the children he's made. And no not in my state. Even if the kid is born out of wedlock the father still has rights if he is proven to be the father. Most just don't act on those rights.

    • Trust me you know nothing about abortion and you don't know how women feel after one. So stop trying to act like you do. You clearly know nothing of the real world. Have you ever seen 16 and pregnant? That's how it usually is. The girl does all the work, while boys run off whenever they want and barely take care of the child. The least they can do is actually support something they've made.

  • "If a girl didn't want an abortion, oh well get over it. She made her decision you'll just have to live with it."

    I don't agree. It is both of their child. The mother MUST take the father's opinion into consideration as well and decide together. The baby doesn't JUST belong to the mother. Like you said, half of it's DNA is from the father.

    Also, for God's sake, please don't post stuff while you are angry. Go take a nap, or do something fun, and then come back and post it. Or you just end up insulting the GaG community. ("one of you retards", "Why can't you retards", "Why do guys whine and bitch so much", etc.)

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  • What kind of men do you LIVE with?

    A baby is NEVER a mistake why do you even call it that?

    I know there are bad people, and guys like that exist. But just because you have not run into a good guy (Mind you) you have no right to call us some inherent retards or jerks or complainers. There are shallow girls and shallow guys. Guys are not shallow nor are girls. So stop this bland generalization.

    Secondly if a girl haves sex with a complete douche bag its her fault. If a GUY sleeps with a woman who blackmails him it's HIS fault. So whatever the gender may be, If you make babies with the wrong person it is your fault equally so take responsibility for your actions

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  • I think you have it aaaalll wrong. See, REAL men get a job, a career even, before they decide to have kids. REAL men wrap it up if they don't want a kid, not "going raw" and being stupid as sht. REAL men LOVE providing for their family, Yes FAMILY SINGULAR, not a ton of little demons he has spawned all across the world. These are all things that REAL men do, not the fake mofos that you're talking about.

    I hate it how when a couple retarded fools that don't know anything about life get all of us good men out here generalized. Stop going after the fools that don't care about you and let a REAL man in!

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  • In some ways I've always thought that the process of paying child support was not always fairly done. There is some arbitrary dollar amount that is supposed to be a value assigned to the rearing of a child. I've always believed that if child support is part of the equation then it should fall that the actual cost of raising a child should be evaluated and made sure that both parties are as equally involved with monetary support. Even if this means assigning a dollar value to the actual hours spent care-taking.

    To play the devils advocate as it were, it takes two to make a child. If there are sexual relations and both parties are aware that having children is not part of the equation then if a child is accidentally conceived then both parties will need to take responsibility. If the woman decides to give birth to the child, why can't the father insist the child be given up for adoption. After all, it was neither parties intention to have a child so why should the guy suffer just because the woman decides she wants to raise the child on her own?

    So some guys might resent the fact that a child is not something they wanted and were well aware that steps were being taken to prevent pregnancy in the first place. So when a child does come into the picture a guy is wondering why he should pay for something he never wanted in the first place when it would be easier to simply give the child up for adoption.

    So enough of being the devils advocate.

    Personally I'd do what I could to support the child and I would have taken the time to discuss adoption as well as keeping the child in the context of not what we as the parents want, but rather what is the best for the child. I also would insist on being part of the child's life and instead of paying support, I would rather provide support by being a part of the child rearing process. If both parents can equally share in the raising of a child, then there should be no child support issues.

    I would venture to guess that the reason women complain far less than guys is because it's the woman who has already cared for the child before birth and there is already a connection there. Paying child support isn't seen as a hardship, but as actual support for the child. Guys may see the money as being paid to the parent and women may see it as money being paid to the child.

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  • I wanted her to have an abortion, she didn't. You say "get over it". Using the same logic, it also should mean "she wants me to pay child support, I don't. Get over it". Sounds equal.

    So if it's her body, her responsibility, her decision etc... There's no mention about "his" whatsoever. Then why he have to pay for it? That's reason #1.

    How do you say it in the US? "No taxation without representation"?

    Second, it's unlikely that all money will be spent entirely on the baby. Usually when I hear about child support, amount of money that a guy must pay is kinda high and often more than enough to keep baby happy and healthy. So, where the rest of the money is going?

    Remember, folks, it's easier to stage some "accident" with your wife and keep the child.

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    • you sound like an asshole. either way both parents have to pay for the child brought into the world, not just the man. usually the mom works too

  • i believe a guy should support what's his. hoewever it should be fair. in many cases the child support puts many guys especially in the age braket you have here(18-24) where their entire salaries are being taken leaving them with nothing to pay their own bills with. unless they are living with said girl. many of these guys because they pay child support can't even get foodstamps and if they are able the amount is so low it makes it not even worth going to apply for it. and in many cases they can't get any other fianacial assistance because of said child support once agencies find out the guys checks are being taken by garnishing to pay child support. it doesn't stop there does the guy get a break at the end of the yerat income tax time "no " all that also goes to child support.

    again if its fair and equatable to both parties I believe a guy should also a test should also be given to verify if child is the guys as well.

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    • some of my friends I know have all their check taken only waty they survive at all areide jobs that pay cash only under the table

  • You know the real problem is that men, unlike women, don't know if the baby is there's for sure, but they always know they have to pay for it even if it isn't there if the girl just up and says he's the dad, and goes to court for money from him. he may never even see the child...but he has to pay for a child that 99 percent of the time they DONT dna test for verification. I believe if a man should have to be obligated by law to making payments for a child that is supposedly his for the next 20 YEARS...then there should be undeniable proof that the child is his. If they can pass a law requiring a man to pay child support then they should amend that law that every man get a free paternity test BEFORE being held financially liable to ANY claim for child support. This is the voice of a man who likes the idea of EQUAL treatment...women know the child is theres...a man disserves the same knowledge...not the assumption that he can trust the females word, but fact...dna fact.

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    • this responder quote:

      Asailum

      cause child support is a shady system and a lot of women abuse it completely. Why do you think there's so much paternity fraud going on? Girls can have a guys paycheck seized with absolutely no proof that he's the father .. just claiming it is enough! (which is against the constitution btw).

      ever watch the MAURY TV program its full of paternity issues. one gal on there had to have more than 10 guys come on before she found the right father of her child.

    • I am a woman and I agree that paternity tests should be required before a man has to pay child support. Marriage or not, long term relationship or not. I would not be offended or hurt if my fiance asked for a dna test when our kid was born. I know I didn't f*ck around, and so does he, but it is just smart for any man to ask for dna test.

  • I fail to see what DNA has to do with anything. By that logic each of my parents has contributed 25% to the DNA of any child I father, so they should pay, right? And if I had an identical twin, surely he would have to pay as much as I, as his DNA is in there as much as mine (indeed it would probably be impossible to prove which one of us is the true father).

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  • yeah easy to say when guys get stuck paying the bill because a girl tricked him (know a girl that took the condom from the trash and used it to get pregnant, another girl was poking holes in the condoms, another stopped taking the pill behind her mans back.)...or...how about a wife that cheats on her husband and she uses the kid as leverage in court. gets custody of the kid. and the guy see her wearing new cloths and stuff and knows that money isn't going to raise the kid properly. This isn't always the case, sometimes guys are just dead beats but you hear the stories all the time about courts siding with rotten women trying to get a free ride on another guy. just remember there is always 2 sides to every story.

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    • those things usually never happen, and the husband usually cheats on the wife.

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    • bull. husband cheats on wife no way a recent study shows women cheat 30% MORE than men, they just lie about it better. I was army divorce rate 80% every single one filed by a women who cheated. Proven fact.

    • ^ proven and confirmed. more women are likely to cheat than men so shut the f*ck up please.

  • lets take a step back here...stop generlizing us men by calling us retarded and assuming every guy is the same...its like saying every girl is a bitch...so lets rephrase your next question and not generlize a gender here, ok?...k, good...

    to answer your question, I have no idea why men wont, maybe they're broke? they're obviously immature to not understand that he came in you w/o thinking of possibly consequences...they're dead - well yeah that one would be obvious ...they're just straight up scum bags and don't care about anyone but themselves...

    those are really the only things I could think of...i do agree with you and think every man should support his child, regardless if he wants to be a parent or not...

    but again, please don't generalize, it just makes you look childish

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  • Just my opininon but I think it is wrong to force someone to pay something that they might not even wanted, sure the guy is a jackass and should have been more careful but saying you don't want a an abortion get over it, is fine but you should have a baby if your emotionally and financially stable if not get aborted, adoption or raise it yourself but don't expect someone to then pay money towards you

    Think of it this way, would the child want to be raised with no money and not see his father but still get money from him, obviously because of your religious views I can't change your opinion but I don't think it is right to force somebody to do something against their will

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    • you're dumb as f***. the child deserves financial support from the man who created it. do you how many dead beats there would be if guys could just walk away and say you handle it and not even pay child support. wow and you call yourself men? lol

    • and just you know I'm an atheist, but I can still use logic. The child would be grateful to be alive and think is dad was an asshole for at least not paying for it's future.

    • What about all the guys who refuse to wear a condom and then bitch at us women for refusing sex or when something goes wrong with birth control? Responsibility is a 2 way street. You can't have your cake and eat it too. If you don't want to wear a condom, then either don't have sex or accept your half of the responsibility. Period. BTW, it is really easy to say she can just have an abortion when you are not the one who has a life inside of you. Yes, women can feel pregnancy as early as 2-3 weeks along and it isn't an easy choice to make, nor should it be. Adoption is wonderful but again you are asking someone to give up a life that she carried and felt inside of her for 9 months. Until you are a woman who has been through that you don't have the right to demand it of someone else. If you are a man, and you don't want to be saddled with child support, then either don't have sex or wear a condom, every time. Even if she says she's on the pill-

  • Yes its stupid...child support isn't even that much cosndiering how much really goes into raising a kid...just because you send a check doesn't make you a supportive father. BUT...I will say this...why is it that I would be expected to pay for a kid I don't want...and yet if the woman won't get an abortion or adopt it out...i still have to BUT the woman can, without my consent..even if I'm pleading with her to keep the baby..she can suck our kid and crush his bones with a vaccum tube and I have ZERO say. I'm an atheist but I'm anti-abortion and it makes dating impossbile seeing as how virtually ALL pro-life girls are uppity Christian zealots...If I was a woman...it wouldn't matter who I slept with because no guy can force me to abort...but I'm a guy so I would be at the mercy of the woman...she could destroy our unborn child without my consent...I think its inconsistent:

    A man who gets a woman pregnant but refuses to be a dad...is a deadbeat loser

    A mom who gets pregnant and chooses to get rid of her baby by killing it...shes just "pro-choice".

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  • No your right and men should step up and pay for their own mistakes, I don't understand how a bloke could deliberately watch his son/daughter go without or struggle that little bit more because he can't be arsed to pay for what was made during one night of selfishness, why should the child suffer, when the child had no say in the matter of being brought into this world, so if any man can sit there and watch his child go hungry or go to school without proper shoes or have her hair done nice or anything else the child may need in its years towards adulthood, then personally, I hope that man suffers later on in life, because people would give their right arm to be able to have that honour, but the woman must apolagise for ever allowing such a man to get close enough to her to get her pregnant, because it does take two, but both parents should pay I agree.

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  • I was a single father for many years, and I have to say A. Commonly women don't pay child support, because they are the ones who get the kid---B. Even if there is a 50-50 split in care for the child, or the kid spends more time with the father STILL he usually pays child support to the ex. C. I have full custody and my ex-wife pays me child support and that cheatingbitch was SO angry about the child support that she never spoke to him or I again---its been over 5 years since she saw or talked to her own son, but she did always complain about the support...heard about it from her parents. "Oh I can't afford that, its so hard for me to pay" yeah well it was hard for me to pay for EVERYTHING, RAISE MY BABY SON ALONE, AND IT WAS HARD TO BALANCE HAVING A JOB, GOING TO COLLEGE, AND RAISING MY CHILD WITH NO HELP. So f to the her...

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    • So sorry you had to deal with that. The court system isn't fair and it is amazing these days that women these days want equality but most can't handle it when it means being equally fair to men. Kudos to you for raising your son.

  • I do. In fact I made my ex a generous offer and she rejected it. When it went to the Child Support Agency (UK) they judged I should pay way less than my offer. So I pay what they told me and buy my boy EVERYTHING he needs and mostly what he doesn't too :-) not all men are the same...

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  • firstly retard is a terribly insensitive remark.

    Men complain about child support because they spend a substantial portion of their pay checks on something that they never wanted to happen. If in the case of a man knocking up a woman on a one night stand / short relationship. The man came to her for sexual stimulation (no pun intended) And instead has to pay habitual checks to this girl for the next 18 years instead of just the abortion fee. Say you break your window and instead of having to fix it once ( abortion) your neighbor's kid breaks it (the girl not agreeing to abortion) you have to pay to fix the window and for the food that the neighbor's kid eats, and the clothes he wears. If I had to pay for all that id be pissed. that's why hun :)

    Though you are right, men should be more responsible, but a CHILD is a decision that both parties should be involved in the decision making process.

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    • sorry, that's not the way nature works. not my fault

    • Obviosly not the way nature works. I just personally believe that it takes two people to make a child and it should be something that both people want to do

    • well when the child is born, your wants don't come first anymore

  • You probably don't hear about women paying high child support because men are disproportionately denied custody, yet asked to pay child support, then frequently denied visitation - regardless of if the mother is working or not. Especially here in California, it's practically a foregone conclusion that the father will be paying.

    You show me any data that says an equal number of women pay an equal amount of child support to fathers that are taking care of their kids and I'll retract my statement. Though, the level of your ressearch is probably not up to any real standards judging by the language you use calling people you've never met "retards" and spouting onsense phrases like "And I already one of you retards are gonna her body". Next time, try calming down and proofreading before you click that "submit answer" button.

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  • Most of 'child support' goes to paying a woman we want nothing to do with any longer, that's why. If it really was for our kid we wouldn't complain.

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    • do you have any proof that it goes straight to the woman and not the child.

    • I think usually when father pays child support it goes through their hands first taking their cut or whatever and then it's handy directly to the mother. She chooses wheter it's for her or the children.

  • if girls can have abortion men should not have to pay child support we should also have the right to walk away its bullsh*t that's its not legal this is discrimination

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    • Shut up and stop trolling. The kid deserves child support no matter what.

    • and kids deserve to live also, so with that logic you would agree abortion should be illegal

    • But not if you get raped.

      Cause if you get raped good chance you don't know the guy, and can't make him pay child support.

  • Well women have the choice of keeping the child, giving it up for adoption, or aborting it. Men are not given that choice. So women who really don't want the child won't keep it. As for women not complaining about child support.

    Census figures show only 57 percent of moms required to pay child support -- 385,000 women out of a total of 674,000 -- give up some or all of the money they owe. That leaves some 289,000 "deadbeat" mothers out there, a fact that has barely been reported in the media.

    That compares with 68 percent of dads who pay up, according to the figures.

    This is from foxnews.com

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  • TTTTTTRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

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  • Guys get no say in whether or not they keep the child. I do actually support the idea that it is the woman's choice as to whether or not she gets an abortion. My personal thought on the matter is that if the guy doesn't want the baby, and the girl does, there should be some method in which he doesn't have to pay child support. By consequence to this, he would give up all parenting rights to the child. In the case where the girl didn't want the baby, the guy did, and the girl didn't want to go through with an abortion, she'd be able to do something similar.

    That's my hypothetical system, you can give whatever feedback you want on it. With the current system: guys don't want to be paying money to support a child that they barely get to see, except for extenuating circumstances custody is nearly always awarded to the mother, there is no guarantee that the money they're paying is supporting child instead of its mother, and guys didn't get a decision, she did, and now they have to live with it.

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  • Women that have to pay child support do complain. My ex complained, took disability, even got herself fired to avoid paying child support.Once threatened to sign off her parental rights. she paid $150 once and 300 another time..saying she couldn't afford to pay me and her own bills. After being split for about 8 or 9 months I finally had to take her to court, Judge decided on $410 and health insurance. She should have settled for the $300 I asked for.

    She has a BF, they filed bankruptcy and are now paying around $40k for a house and 2 cars (think she told me $450 something a month). Meanwhile I get stuck with a mortgage, all credit cards, med bills and Vacation property.

    I think women hear men complain more because it is uncommon for the female to be paying. There are some dead beat Moms out there too.

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    • She could sign off her parental rights all she wants to, it won't absolve her of child support payments. Many deadbeats think giving away their parental rights will mean they don't have to pay cs but boy is it a wake up call when they get to court. Personally, I would have taken her up on her offer. She would still have to pay but have NO say in anything regarding the child's life, including her visitation rights. You have all the decision power.

  • most dudes who bitch and moan are just assholes and dead beats who don't wanna do sh*t if its not for them. but then again there is a percentage of girls who do some shady sh*t to make themselves pregnant just to keep the guy. they will poke holes with a needle in condoms. you even hear about rock stars and rappers who say that groupies will try and use a turkey baster and a used condom to get themselves pregnant. and of course they guy has to pay the child support regardless.

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  • cause child support is a shady system and a lot of women abuse it completely. Why do you think there's so much paternity fraud going on? Girls can have a guys paycheck seized with absolutely no proof that he's the father .. just claiming it is enough! (which is against the constitution btw).

    And you must be delusional since you act like having a child is her choice alone. Its both their kid so they both decide together, and they both raise the kid together. That's why having an abortion is BOTH of their choice, its both of their chromosomes mixing together to make life. If she wants to have the kid anyways, then she should pay for it herself. If he wants to have the kid and she doesn't, then it should go vice versa, he raises it and she doesn't pay anything.

    Honestly though, your looking at it from only one angle and its pretty immature of you.

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    • I think in the U. S. you have to prove paternity before the courts make him pay. There have been a few cases where the court decided the man was responsible for the kids even of they weren't his simly because he was married to the mother for a long period of time. But I think it was those cases that made courts require paternity tests now if the father questions paternity. I could be wrong though.

  • My mother only made me and my sister for child support, and she never used the money for any of us , instead she used the money for her own shopping for shoes. None of the money actually goes to the kids ... one time it was winter and I asked for a winter coat because I did not have one, my mother just ignored me until I asked again and then she said "go ask your father for money" - :'( --- my father was the one that really cared for us, he tried to fight in court but my mother started telling lies about him so the court ignored him, welcome to justice in Canada (there is no justice). My father was always a good person and he never diserved anything like this to happen to him... I ran away from home when I was 14... and I ran to my father to live with him and help him with financial trouble. happy ending ... I hope your child runs away from you too :)

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  • There's also the question of whether or not it really is *his* child. A woman knows for a fact if a child is hers or not, but a guy, especially a guy who doesn't want to pay child support, will always have that doubt, no matter what, even with DNA tests.

    That said, the dudes who complain the most are deadbeats.

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What Girls Said 23

  • Ever heard of a man having full custody and getting child support form a woman? Pretty rare... even more rare is a man bitching about it (because they don't). My fiancee has full custody and recieves nothing from the mother. Courts won't do anything about it because (and read this carefully)... because he is not on welfare of any kind. Once a woman is pregnant, men have no rights.

    I completely understand the system of child support, and how it is SUPPOSED to help. But it is a system that is too easily abused as men's rights are stripped as soon as an embryo is fertilized. Society is telling men that their only value as a father is their money. Nothing else is considered. NOTHING. A few years ago I would have agreed that dead beat fathers disgust me, then I started dating a man with children and realized the absolute hell they can be forced to go through if the woman has any slight grudge against him. What really ticks me off is it is the guys that stick around and do their best to follow the laws that usually get screwed in the end. The guys that run off at the first word of missed period that get off scott free.

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    • That's what I'm talking about. Its so easy for most girls to fire off at the mouth cause they watch too man talk shows but most men are not like that in their child/custody/child support situations and are getting royaly screwed. Bravo to you for taking a stand amongs all the raging feminist and laying down some hard cold TRUTH.

  • well from my experience, I'm going to say yes, the guy should have to pay child support. my mom married a complete asshole, and she was with him for ten years (married) and had both me and my brother. he never wanted either one of his children, and he basically ignored us all the time. never worked, never did anything to help. so, my mom divorced him. she had two kids already, she didn't want to take care of a third one. anyway, after she divorced him, he was ordered to pay child support, and he did for a while, but shortly after the checks stopped coming. my mom was too worn down to take him to trial, so she just struggled on as best as she could. so as a result, my mom worked at a dead end job, and could barely afford to make rent and feed me and my brother. so should a guy pay child support? f*** yes.

    on the other hand, if the guy marries a complete bitch who divorces him and takes all his money and only spends it on herself, then of course he shouldn't be giving her anything. however, the legal system is screwed up and imperfect, so there's no way to make sure that the money is used for the children.

    if the mother in question is single, and young, without a good source of income, I believe that the guy should be forced to pay child support, whether he likes it or not. otherwise it's not fair to the mother or her poor children. on the other hand, if a woman divorces her rich husband, and her children are say teenagers, and she can afford to take care of them herself, then I think it's stupid to make the guy fork over money that won't even be used on the children anyway. that's my opinion

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    • how about this scenario a guy whose a waiter in a restraunt mets and falls in love with a woman of substance but before the final vows he signs a prenup saying if anything happens he leaves with what he came into the marraige with. he agrees latter on down the road the woman divorces him after having child. the man is now forced to pay child support on a waiters salary while the wife is a multimillioniar does that sound fair. yes its his child but he's penniless because all is taken from him.

  • Well, a bit harsh Anonymous...I wouldn't be so quick to generalize all men.

    I've seen it both ways. My exhusband (even when he was seeing the kids) only paid a 1/3 of what he was court mandated to do so. I didn't call him out on it because, quite frankly, I didn't give a damn about his money. I left the marriage with nothing and didn't expect anything. As in, I didn't ask for child support even though I really could have used all of it.

    Now that he isn't seeing the kids at all (by court order), he refuses to pay anything because he isn't seeing them... Hmmm...for someone who professed to love them that much and would do whatever it took to see them happy blah blah blah has decided that he is going to pay nothing. Whatever.

    The man that I'm with now pays MORE than what he really has to but that's because he wants to. He feels that he is responsible (as much as his former wife) for the welfare of the children.

    I think it boils down to the personality of the man but I won't generalize. In my case, his farm and working on the rigs was far too important than paying $600 for 2 kids per month (although he only paid $200 for both). In his case, it was vindiction. He was convinced that I was wasting the money on myself and not the kids. Why not an RRSP or savings account then?

    That's gotta make you think...

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  • To the guys that are Willing to have The child Well its not fair for a start. The guy does not get to live with this child and Can pay more than The mother. If they didn't want The child suck it up and grow up. Its a part of life. Baby Is born = life.

    Dont want to pay in life like everyone else don't live in it.

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  • I can tell you why my brother b!tches about paying child support. He spoils his kids rotten and buys his boys everything. Theyre 5 and 7 and they both have Iphones and Ipads. He buys them expensive clothes, pays fpr their private schools and pretty much anything they want. He gives his ex 1300.00 a month for child support and she doesn't spend anything on them. I know you're probably gonna say that they don't need Iphones or other stuff, but if he don't buy them stuff, she won't either. Most guys would probably give the 1300 and tell their kids to ask their mother for money. I'm sorry but 1300 is a lot of money for 2 kids. Child support is to support the kids, not tje Ex wife that is to lazy and does not want to work. How many moms out there get child support and still get help from the government cause they choose to be on welfare? The system should be changed. If fathers support their kids, they should not have to pay child support. Women, and this I know because I have friends that get child support. Women use child support to support themselves. My friend has a 2010 truck that she pays with my brothers child support.

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  • Because their intentions initially (before the baby came) was to behaving fun and screw with your brain/emotions/vagina! Now that their actions have screwed them they have become bitches and wine more than the baby does! Good for them...

    Vonda G. Nelson

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  • because men are for the most part selfish and immature

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  • my dad paid a dime of child support, being a signle parent is the one of the hardest thing in the world, my mom worked her ass off. men should support their kids, I would if I was a guy

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  • alot of the time its the girls with the baby or child so that's why they don't whine about child support. but a lot of guys don't wnat the kids that they are paying for and would have prefered to have them aborted (not saying I support abortion)

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  • true

    my mom never got a penny the whole time she bought me up on her own on benefits

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  • agreed to an extent, they shouldn't whine about it as long as they get to see the child on a regular basis.

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  • they would rather spend their money on their new girlfriend.

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  • they think the women will use the money for herself

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  • Yes, I agree, you shouldn't rely on the government to take care of your mistake. You should own up to your responabilities. But, in their defense, nobody likes losing money.

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  • I think child support is filled with emotions that cloud the truth. Since you actually pay it to the ex and not to the child, it can become a big issue when your ex actually has to ask you or push for the support. That is why I am a big fan of the court system taking it out of paychecks so two people that obviously did not get along very well in the first place are not in the position of playing collection agency every month.

    I do think the awarding of child support is not very equitable and I feel that with the economic downturn there are some flaws that have gotten worse. For instance, if you made a good amount of money at one point but due to the economy cannot make the same income, it doesn't necessarily mean you can have your support payments reduced. My fiance is in a difficult position because of this and it appears the courts just expect he should be able to make the same income eventually even though he is making less than his ex. Every month is a struggle and he owes back support from a period of time that he was not making enough money to cover the support.

    I am a woman that is paying support to my ex. I can see my ex is doing well, with a new luxury car and still able to own the large home we had together in our divorce. It makes me wonder that what I pay is too much but because he owns a business and it doesn't appear to be doing much better than when we divorced, heaven only knows what would happen. We get along well now, so the idea of fighting over this now is just not worth it.

    And, yes, there are some men out there that have no interest in caring either physically or financially for their children. They don't care, don't want to see them and don't want to take money they could spend on other activities and use it for a child. It sucks, but it happens.

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  • Because they are selfish bastards & don't care about their own kids.

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  • Yeah, girls are going to be frustrated about that but at the same time she decided to spread her legs and allow him to inseminate her anyway. I can see why guys would complain about it especially if the child isn't in his life like that like if he doesn't see the child that often. He's paying his hard earned money for a baby of a woman that he doesn't date or have any romantic interest in. I definitely think he should take responsibility for his actions but I can see how that would be annoying.

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  • because if you were a one night stand he would have never have had to pay for sh*t.

    by being a reliable human being, he also becomes responsible for accidents that really you could have gotten an abortion for..

    when there is no societal structure, women are responsible for their children.

    and womens right are recent

    but most of ALL, he probably has to hate you deep down if he can't even be with you even though you bore his children. so why would he want to give you money, even if it all indirectly goes to pay for his children

    yea its going to pay the kids not you, but when you're handing the check over guys think short term and hate the feeling

    just sayin da truth

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  • f***ing your a retard and all other dumb ass bitches that don't care about them self and jus want love and a man will GIVE IT TO You BY HAVING SEX N You GET PREGO..MAYBE You ALL SHOULD HAVE SEX TILL You ARE READY OR GET ON F***IG ASS BITHCONTROL DUMBASSS SICK

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  • Some do

    Some don't

    They bitch

    Coz

    They are big kids

    Choose better men

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  • ha yeah the more they whine the more they should pay

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    • Tell it girl! LOL...OMG I guess you should walking behind him whipping him across the back with a whip or something too huh? I know guys that probably work harder in one day than you do in a year, just to pay 10 times the money in child support it cost to really raise that child when they were together while the woman blows it on shopping and SUV's FOR HERSELF.

    • ha yeah the more you think the less you should say.

  • I am not suggesting that all children that are born into a world where one parent doesn't want it that he shouldn't pay for it, but here's something you might want to think on. I know there are many reasons, but how about women, who have children and then give them up for adoption, they no longer pay for that child, no longer care for it, they give it up...and they don't always consult the father..they just do it.

    Why can't you see, that just because a sperm is given, that it means the guy must always be responsible for it? Men can't ever get pregnant, they cannot ever make this decision for themselves. It will always be the womans choice whether or not to have it. AND I know what abortion is thanks, I have had one...so I know what affect it can have on women, but still when I had this abortion I didn't just do it, I spoke to the father too, I asked him what he would want, and as ADULTS we discussed it and BOTH came to the decision that we had only been together a few months and weren't ready for the responsibility.

    BUT had I chosen to have the kid, and he was adamant he didn't want it, then no, I would not then later ask him to pay up, simply because I CHOSE, to have the kid, KNOWING full well he didn't want it...it was MY choice and if I believe I am ready to have a child then I SHOULD DAMN WELL BE READY TO SUPPORT IT.

    Doesn't really matter what you think of me for saying this, the simple fact is, if a GUY DID WANT THE CHILD, AND THE MOTHER GOT RID OF IT, PEOPLE WOULD SAY, OH WELL ITS HER BODY SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO DECIDE...

    I know what FINACIAL abortion is, I get what it means, but at the same time, men can't chose and that's a FACT and if you girls don't want to get pregnant THEN DON'T SLEEP WITH HIM WHEN HE HASN'T GOT ANY PROTECTION. SIMPLE!

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    • The thing with the abortion is it's in the woman's body. A financial abortion takes place after the child is born. Now if you did have the kid you would be more likely to live in poverty, since you would have no help from the father. So pretty much you would be f***ing over yourself and your kid. Good thing you got an abortion. You'd be a horrible parent.

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    • Which in turn would lead to chaos across the country and would most likely increase poverty rates. Which would be bad for the government. Since most women most likely wouldn't have an abortion because of hormonal changes in the body and would feel inclined to keep it, they in turn would end up living in poverty, while the father continues on prosperous with no financial obligation to the child he helped bring into the world.

    • for a women kudo's to you , not that I've ever been in that situation 40 years married and strong yet.

      i do sympathize with some men (not all men) in their plights in this area however. I agree with you many women that may read what you have may think of you as a traitor of sorts. and possible most guys might wish other women thought as you do.

  • Ok, female input. I have issues with this as a female because, you're right in that its your body and its your choice, and not everyone agrees with abortion. However, you call it his 'mistake' girl it ain't just up to the man to put something on it..everyone to the man, and to the female has a responsibility to use contreception if they don't want a child, and if you don't and you get pregnant and you chose to keep the baby, then that is your choice. Lets be honest if a 'mistake' occurs the man actually has no say...he isn't the one who is pregnant, and he can't physically make the choice, only the women can do something about it. If men were the ones who got pregnant, things might be a little different...and after all, you said it, it is half his DNA.

    If, lets say you and your man are together and you've been together for a while, you have a child, it wasn't planned but you both wanted it anyway. Then two years down the line you split, and he decides he don't want anything to do with the child, he don't want to pay for it, and he don't even want to see it. Then yes, I would say in this case senario he needs to take responsibility for his child because when it was concieved he was happy for it to go ahead. and yes I believe he should pay what the goverment says he should.

    But some girls, and it does happen, get pregnant, have the child, despite the guy not wanting it, and then force and complain that this guy isn't doing his duty for his child. I am not a feminist, but I do feel that, if a mistake occurs and (actually its not a mistake if you didn't use anything, because well that's what happens when sex is unprotected) But I do feel that, because the guy can't actually physically do anything about it, that the girl is actually trapping him into this by having it. Where's the men's rights? why should men be trapped into something they have no control over in any way.

    i actually think men should have the right to decide in cases where, it was a mistake, they're no longer with the girl, it might have been a casual thing, or one night stand, to whether they keep it or not, because just because nature gave it to the woman to carry, doesn't make it her god given right to tell men they should then take responsibility for it. And if the case is it was a mistake, the guy don't want it, but the girl has it because she wants it, then no, I don't think men should pay. Because the man as I have already pointed out, cannot physically do anything about it.

    Sorry but, the baby thing is so much more complicated then how you make it.

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    • lol..you make sense, I can already tell I'm talking to idiot. Abortion is completely different from a financial abortion. Abortion prevents the child from being born. A financial abortion would then pretty much be neglecting a kid that already is here. Do you have any clue how disastrous that'd be. Do you have any clue how many guys would be running around knocking girls up and saying I want nothing to do with it, and run off leaving both mother and child destitute? This isn't about equality.

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    • the question asker is retarted she is for the opretion of men so I hope somebody slapes her

    • f*** off

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