What does getting mad at some1for asking you if you want to hang out has to do with having your heart?

this guy was getting mad because apparently I asked him to hang out and his day off a month ago. he said he values his day off . but he is spending the others with me - as we have been hanging out nearly every day since. him asking not me.

& I asked him why he didn't say something to me at the time? he said he's had his heart broken.. - what does that have to do with telling me he's was bothered by my asking him to hang out?

which I only did so he didn't think I was ignoring him. its not like I cared when. and he already got mad and I said I don't know why he's mad. he can do what he wants. I'm not his keeper. he said he wanted to hag out with me.

weve been hanging out so I also don't know why he's raising this at all, but also what is he doing talking about broken hearts when this is just him complaining?


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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 3

  • he may like you a lot and just doesn't want to get hurt ya know...however men tend not to express their feelings openly so they do so with hidden messages so to speak...saying no to what may seem likea simple question can really be you saying no to a big question he had wanted to ask had you said yes...i guess if you wana make it work ya gota get him comfortable

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    • hmm. Do you think, do like when he spent all day waiting for me so he could invite me to go out with him and I went over but then had to leave,.. he might have wanted to take things further but in his mind I rejected all of what he planned even tho I didn't know. (he stopped talking to me after , for a bit)

      perhaps, if he said he didn't think somethings a good idea I say I don't want something...in his mind, that's closing off anything further he might have come up with had I seemed more inviting.

    • exactly so if your trying to cvhange this make more of a conscious effort to keep to the plans you make with him...and/or you could explain to him that you don't mean to offend him ya know stuff like that

  • Hanging out usually provides many opportunities for intimate, deep conversations - no so as I read here. You both are bothered by this episode a great deal. Since you are the writer/asker, you are elected to bring this to a head. You'll have to get him relaxed, get in his face and ask loving questions that probe what went wrong so that his heart felt broken when all you want is to be near him & love + be loved. If you will assure your love but admit being clumsy about it, he can open up and reveal his concealed wound, not yet healed, that you accidentally poked & hurt.

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    • you mean you think he got mad because he's hurt not because he doesn't want to spend time with me? I wasn't sure if he exploded because he's hurt or just annoyed.

      i don't know how to ask those sorts of questions. I trained myself to stay off the subject a it seems to annoy a lot of people and I like to discuss tings that people feel dignified discussing.. what sorts of questions did you have in mind?

      thank you for responding.

    • Well, you don't feel comfortable guessing what's up or you would not have written, so you'll have to learn how to dig it out of people you love. If he's normal, he will like talking about himself once feeling comfortable, at ease & in front of a loving audience with undivided attention. Once comfortable, you might begin the ball rolling by venting how something kept you from being with him once upon a time ... then, "do you have any troubles like that?". "I hate it when you're unhappy"

    • oh I see, try to relate to him.. good idea lol

      i could ask hm if he's ever had to sacrifice something he wanted because it conflicted with something he felt obligated to do ...

  • He likes you

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    • thats an extremely complicated convoluted circuitous way of informing me. if that is even the case.

What Girls Said 3

  • everyone wants time to them selves ut he is being a bit stupid about getting angry. maybe he mentioned the whole heart broken thign because he doesn't want to spend every waking moment with you incase he gets too attatched. a bit random I'l give you that but maybe he just wanted to say it and thouhgt that was the time.

    sounds a bit like he knows he's more in it then you r, silly thing is he should know if he acts like this you will probably like him less.

    anyway I'm not sure what you should do, but don't read into it too much. it doesn't sound like he is trying hard to be a d***, just seems he is going about things wrong. he sees you almost everyday, except for his nights off. he is always asking you and maybe he knows he is always asking u. when you ask him to hang out on his day off he lashes out a bit like an idiot but then finds the oment to let out what is really bothering him "he has had his heart broken" and feels like he is getting to attacthed to you and is aroundd you too much. when he thinks your "invading" on his days off, he thinks your trying to take up all his time so he is garenteed to fall for u... boys eh?

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    • Well his day off - lol this is dumb. it was 3 months ago and I only did it becuase he asked me out And I couldn't go. So I asked TWO WEEKS LATER not all the time:) I asked on a day he working if he wanted to hang out 'some time' not 'will u' not ' NOW' just 'do you want to sometime'-un-intrusive:)

      I understand people want their own time:) I told him I just want him to know if he fels like it -cool., no pressure

      He got mad 3 months ago- I let it go. What bothers /confuses me-hes raising it NOW.

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    • i appreciate your taking the time to answer, and yea I think you are exactly right about the law upon themselves bit:) perfectly put. I think he really believed himself which was hat I was so amazed by- not in s good way. it didn't seem like he thought he was lying tho he seemed to catch on that it was not making sense. but that just lead to ohm raising other things that didn't make sense. with each new thing he has to learn all over again. lol this is horrible to say but he reminds me of my huskie:)

    • I think you are correct, he's trying to say something. I have no idea what:) it could be what you said-which I was thinking- of him wanting to be or more importantly feel obvious about is own effort in spending time with me, or this could just be a cowardly way of saying he doesn't want to spend tie with me anymore. or at least setting things up, so I might infer that he means it that way.

      i don't doubt he was mad and I don't doubt he's mad but if its the same reason he's crazy for continuin to hang out

  • I just like being alone sometimes and this is his way of saying 'hey I want some time to myself'. respect it but to some reasonable extent.

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    • :) I know people like time to themselves- me being one of them. That's why I only asked him to hang out once- 3 months ago.

      3 months ago, I asked him 2 weeks after he asked me out-when I couldn't go. To make sure he didn't think I was ignoring him. Because my friend said it looked like I was. He got mad that very day. I asked him what was wrong, he wouldn't say. I never asked him again.

      Why would he bring it up again -3 months later? After we hung out around 30 times-by his request not mine.

  • Hahaha. This totally sounds like what was happening to me. I was dating this guy we hung out everyday after work. Every single day. He was always doing something on his days off. Stupid me, it turned out he had another girl friend that lived over an hour a day. She didn't know about me either. I found out when I got herpes. He apparantly was cheating on the both of us with other women as well.

    My advice to you, call him out on it. If he's getting pissed he either has something to hide, doesn't like you as much as he says he does or he is an idiot.

    I guy who really likes you will want to spend most of his time with you.

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    • *She lived an hour away. Sorry bout that, I'm typing on my phone.

    • he is spending most of his trime with me thatsv why it doesn't makew sense that he's saying he WOULD have hung out with me back then.. we've been hanging out everyday since. if he duid have a girlfriend that's his business I we are nlot dating. I just don't see why he's going thu all this effort to sound like an idiot.

      sorry the question was writtren poorly-but then he made it complicated. I'm limkited in how simply I can ask :)

      he said he would have hung out with me 3 months ago but he didn't want me to get -

    • the "wrong idea".

      3/months ago, I asked him if he wanted to hang. I could not go when he asked me-So I was tried to return the gesture.got mad that day and then apologized. I asked him what was wrong and he just asked for my number ill call u. I felt odd, so I said look if you don't want to its fine. IM AN ADULT. HE SAID NO NO JUST GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER.

      Didn't talk for two weeks.

      THEN we DID. WE HAVE HUNG OUT FOR TWO MONTHS SINCE. SO I DONT KNOW WHY HED WANT TO TELL me this now.

      caps-dent:)

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