Need some help getting back to Dating?

I have been trying to date again after being single for about a year and I have tried twice one cheated and the other is just way to clingy and is making me want to be single again for another year so before I give it up for another year I would like to get some insight. Now to inform you all I'm being deployed in November so ill be in Afghanistan for 7 months so that puts a dent in things. I also have a daughter from the relationship that made me single for the first year who is going out want a guy with a kid is that just me or is that not a problem?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Having a kid is not a major problem. Does your daughter stay with you or does she stay with mom? If she stays with her mom I don't see where the problem is, people have children and split up it happens all the time. If the child stays with you, then this could be a problem for some women that are afraid they might end up raising the child (or that you might not see them as a long-term prospect due to the child). It all has to do with the people you chose. And there are a lot of people out there so I don't think that dating two women and not finding the appropriate one for you should be a major problem. You really need to be clear about what type of woman you want in your life (her characteristics, personality, physical appearance and all that) so that you get to start looking for her consciously in the appropriate places. Being deployed does not help one bit. I'm sorry but unless the woman is either in the military herself OR knows of people in the military they might possibly think "what's the point of going out with him if he goes abroad, gets killed or ends up forgetting all about me". I know its a twisted way of thinking but some women don't want to get through the drama of separation. If you are looking for a serious life-time partner and not a fling, I would date casually for the time being and then look for that partner once I'm back.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Wow, that sucks. Living single and then now being wayy too attatched? lol

    I feel ya.

    I don't see why people think it's better to tell someone that they have a kid after they've been seeing each other. It kind of makes me feel that we didn't start the relationship on trust.

    I met this guy who was a single father in the military and I really didn't mind it. I mean, yeah he had a kid, and I was only 20, but who am I to judge? Maybe he's a batter person/ father because of his kid. What's up with people being scared of kids these days? Geez.

    But then again, there are people who I guess can judge or categorize someone into this certain

    "WooooAHhhh, they have a kid!" phobia. That just means that they weren't the right people to be seeing in the first place.

    I would take this as, "oh you don't like the fact that I have kids?...NEXT!"

    And then I would basically move the eff on.

    Hope this kind of helps!

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  • I suggest don't introduce your daughter to whoever your dating until you feel that you are getting serious about this person. My dad did this with my brother and I, it gave him a chance to get to know the woman and decide if it serious enough. Definitely don't bring no woman around your kid if it is a casual fling.

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  • wow your cute! come to texas

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What Guys Said 2

  • Try speed dating dude. Online dating is easy. I would join a few sites at once. Its a numbers game. Personally I don't like online dating. But I did meet a lovely gal doing speed dating a few years back. And another time at a singles event. I say just do singles events. Besides most girls dig guys in the military. You're a nice looking guy in shape so don't sweat it. You just gotta put yourself out there. I know its hard being deployed and all. Some girls don't like the idea of her man being so far away so frequently with the possibility of being shot.

    Anyway good luck dude.

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  • dont put expectations on everything some things work and some dont. just live and learn. maybe you need a smarter bitch around.

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