My ex and I dated for a year then we decided to take a break to try new things as we had only ever been with each other, I hooked up and so did she, she claims I liked my hook up and she was just drunk. anyways we did it both not knowing of the others until later, so we thought we did it first, although chronologically I did. I realized hooking up is hooking up, and I thought she figured the same. We then resumed dating with a lot of hardship of those horrible memories. I constantly asked about them, though she did not. About 10 months later, she left me for another guy that she liked and hooked up with. I begged for her back and she said no at first. Then She then told me she cheated on me wiht 5 other guys, at parties. and she wanted me back as her and her hook up were about finished. I realized I don't truly want to be with a cheater. Now, were friends, but she goes out a lot and I still lvoe her, so I get jealous as she goes out with guys alone late at night.
I worry about her a lot and she finds it annoying. But when I tell her I think its best if we drop each toher as we are only hurting each other, she instantly apologizes and claims to be sorry, but never asks to be with me again. Even when I met a new girl who I hung out with a few tiems, she would cry over the phone asking how I could do this to her, even though ironically she did the same thing.
We are around 18, still young and foolish, but she was my first love. She taught me how to love, and I thought I would marry her.
Our second anniversary is coming up soon and I was wondering what I should do, should I cut contact for good? continue talking to the girl to get her jealous? should I give her a second chance and try to get back with her? I still lvoe her and she only wants to be friends, I'm not sure what I want as I don't want to be with a cheateer :S
Most Helpful Girl
If you don't trust her, don't worry about her. In a way, I can relate to the whole "first love" thing and not wanting to let go. I know how when you believe that you're going to end up with someone (even if years down the road), it's so incredibly hard to HONESTLY let go. The advice is to move on, but the truth is that you won't until she's really killed it for you.
If you were good to her and treated her well, she's clearly not ready for a serious relationship. If the running around she did was to get your attention then you're both not ready for a serious relationship, IMO. She has some issues she needs to work out. Even if she did what she did because you were doing something wrong in the relationship, it still shows a lack of maturity and emotional stability/control on her part. (I wasn't quite so wild when I went through it, and never cheated, but I was looking for a solution to my relationship problems with ONE man in all the wrong places. I did what I did because I didn't know how to let him go.)
For me, personally, it was the loss of trust which killed the relationship for me after more than a decade. More than likely you're going to have to hit "rock bottom" so to speak before you truly let this go. Otherwise, you would have done it already. Just keep in mind that letting go now doesn't mean it wouldn't workout one day, down the road, when you've both grown and worked through your issues.
As for how to let go, I say you let go of the friendship as well as the romantic interest. But I think you already knew that. :-) Good luck!0