I'm going on my first date ever!

[Anonymous]

Hii Umm Well I'm going On My First Date Ever And I Was Wondering For Advice On What To Wear I'm Grouped At "Scene" so You Got Any Advice :D and how can I not be nervous ?

[LukeLockehart]

Yeah I got a couple things that can help you.

The first is about what you wear. One of the mistakes that I made early on in dating, was trying to focus all my energy on making sure I looked good and wore the right clothes. So I would go out, buy some new jeans, and buy a new shirt that fit snug to make myself look as good as possible.

However, what I found was that when I was wearing all these expensive clothes that were tight, it made me uncomfortable the entire night. The whole night I was worried about how I looked instead of focusing on just having a good time.

So my advice to you, is to wear your favorite clothes that you already wear on a regular basis. Don't worry about getting something new, get something that you know you're comfortable wearing both physically, and how it makes you feel when wearing it.

If your comfortable in your clothes, it will come off to your date that your comfortable with yourself. if your constantly worried about how you look, then the guy will pick up on that as well and think that your self conscious. Which is turn off.

So wear something tried and true!

Next thing as far as mental wise not being so nervous. I've found that a lot of pressure comes from using the "D" word. Saying I'm going on a date just sends a chill through the body of nervous energy. I think because subconsciously when we think date, it sets up almost like a try out or interview mindset where you will either get the job or be rejected.

That puts a lot of pressure on people.

Whenever I am meeting up with someone for the first time, I always call it hanging out. Even if we go out to eat, I will say I'm grabbing a bite to eat with a friend. By downplaying it like this in my mind, I have found it makes me way more comfortable, and its easier to be myself.

So think of it as hanging out with a new guy friend who could potentially be a possible romantic interest.

The last key - There are two different mindsets you can have going into a "hang out session" lol.

Some girls go into it thinking - "I hope I'm good enough, I hope he finds me pretty, I really want this to work out" This is a bad mindset because they are making their mind up before they even know if the guy is good enough for her. it also gives the guy all the power, which is a turn for guys.

The other mindset is - "I'm looking forward to getting to know more about this guy, to see if he is date worthy."

In this case the girl is asking the guy questions and has the guy trying to prove why he is good enough for her. This mindset shows that you value yourself highly and only date guys that meet your standards.

The other mindset says, I'll date anyone who likes me, hopefully you find me good enough to be with you!

So to Recap:

1) Comfy tried and true clothes

2) Consider it just Hanging out with a New Friend to ease the mind.

3) Be the Selector and make him win your approval rather than trying to win his!

Goodluck to you!

Have Fun Hanging with your new friend!

Luke

[aadenyl]

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