Dating a woman with children...Is it hard to do?

I'm a young single mother, I have guys interested and then once they find out I have a kid, poof they're gone like they never existed.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's hard if either one of you doesn't know what they're doing. Unfortunately, most of your sisters who have kids don't date so much as hold job interviews for the future fathers of their children. Job interviews are fun for no one, so guys discover that they can avoid that stress by avoiding those women.

    How do you deal with this? First, delay the revelation. I'm not saying hide who you are--you should answer truthfully if asked, for example--but it's probably not a first or second date topic; if he doesn't like you, it doesn't matter whether you have kids.

    Then, decide what this guy's place in your kids' life will be. Daddy? Friendly uncle? No one? Figure out what you and your kids will live with, then pick a guy that fits.

    But, don't be one of THOSE women. Now that you know why he's gun-shy, you're not going to give him another reason, right? You're going to let him know that you're going to give him time to make the transition. You'll let him know that everybody's going to be patient with the inevitable mistake. And, you'll reassure him that you're a grownup and would understand if it doesn't work out, but that you just want to give it a try.

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What Guys Said 1

  • First off I think they should know right off the bat that you have a child, secondly, let them know that your not expecting them to be the childs father.he already has one. and if you are looking for that, that's a huge commitment for a guy to make right off the bat. Let the guys know that your child is obviously a huge part of your life but you main objective for now is to find the right man for you, and after all that if the right man isn't ready to take on a relationship with you and your child.then he wasnt the right man for you in the first place

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What Girls Said 2

  • I know a few young single mothers who've had the same problem. I told them all the same thing. When the right kind of guy comes along, he won't run at the sight of your child. So I guess what I'm saying is, find a guy a few years older, maybe a little closer to wanting to settle down with a woman. Chances are, the guys who have shown interest in you have been too young and too immature. Try going for guys a couple years older than these guys, and ease them into the idea of dating a single mum. By easing them into it, I mean wait until after a few dates before telling him about your child. Then, when you do finally tell him, tell him that you're not looking for a daddy for your baby, at least not right this second. Suggest maybe meeting up, with your child, for a day at the park, something light and easy going. That way it's still one on one but you've got you child with you so the two can meet and maybe get to know each other a little bit.

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  • If a man heads for the hills because you tell him that you have a child he isn't really interested at all because your child is a part of you. I don't mean that there was no attraction but lets be honest if you like someone and want to get to know them that shouldn't change because there are children involved. I am 33 and I have a 1 year old daughter. Whoever I meet knows that I have a child upfront and if they have a problem with it then that's their problem because no one comes before my daughter. Not all men are like that though there are plenty of men that love kids. Someone who is REALLY interested in YOU will not be the least concerned that you have a child. I hope this helps a little.

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