I finally made up my mind to leave - any advice?

Well, it has been a long long ride with my boyfriend. He was the reason I joined GAG because I thought I can share our problems with people here. I wanted to understand men better...

Lately, I've been so unhappy & he didn't care a tiny bit. He's being a jerk..you just have no idea. All the promises, nice words, lovely gestures turned out to be fake at the end.

I finally made up my mind to leave...although I love him but that's not enough. I've put so much effort in this relationship but he's too selfish, brutish & strange. I've asked my good friends here on GAG & they agreed on that.

It's of no use to continue with this man whom I thought will be my husband but he's too self-centered that he cannot see anyone but himself. Let him enjooy being with himself. I'll send him a break-up message saying "I deserved to be treated better. Good luck"..he doesn't even deserve a call. Last phone call I was crying so hard crying for attention telling I'm not happy I want attention, I've been crying for months, etc...He didn't even care a bit...He became even worse. I've give out all the chances but he misused it.

What do you think of the message? & what advices do you have for me after this break-up?

Thanks! :))

Updates:
My heart is beating so hard, is that normal?
Hey All, I did it at last :))

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I can't really say anything else than what I've already told you except that I'm glad you're finally putting yourself and your happiness first. Mohamed isn't right for you and you deserve so much better. You deserve to be loved the way that you love. And it's a shame that Mohamed could not treat you with the respect you deserved.

    Say what you're going to say, "I deserved to be treated better. Goodluck/Goodbye" and be done. Saying anything more than that will look like you still care, which you don't. You're over him. And that's the impression you want to leave him with. Don't appear bitter, resentful, etc. you will heal in time. Show him and yourself that you are the bigger, stronger, individual person and you're doing what's best for you and what will be best for both of you in the long-term.

    I know this is hard. But this is what you need.

    I LOVE YOU. <33333333333

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    • I'll read this comment of yours at any time I feel down about the break-up because it really defines and assures why I left.

      I LOVE you more, Tia <3 <3 <3

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    • Share the love? :)

    • Of course. :P

What Guys Said 8

  • Your heart is beating hard because your in emotional pain.. It's not "normal" in comparison to "normal living", though it is "normal" considering the situation.

    As for this guy and yourself, I'm glad you finally found out the truth. The problem in this world is that so many people don't truly understand relationships until they've broken a few hearts. A lot of people look up to me in real life with comments like: "This is my advice guy" "Dude kyle's an awesome person" or "Your a great man".. etc and so forth.. But I'm not exempt from breaking a heart or two.. I didn't know any better, because I didn't understand it. Then when I finally met ropes end - where she left me for my best friend, who was a player and understood what she wanted - I finally ended that relationship, and she still wants me back to this day.. And I don't see why. I guess what it boils down to is whether your willing to go through the pain in a relationship, to see it through, because there will ALWAYS be things that don't go your way.. You just have to maintain the strength to keep fighting forward, rather than giving up. That's the key to successful relationships, is that both people WANT to make it work, even if they don't fully understand.

    You asked for advice for the future.. Speaking from personal experience - unless the guy your going to get with, can understand what women need and want (meaning he's either studied relationships, or has broken hearts) - then he's not going to appreciate what you try to do (when you ask for attention, when your crying, etc).. Typically, relationships shouldn't have to go that far to begin with.. But when they do, my advice is don't "ask for it".. Just put yourself in the situation of receiving it.. Stop waiting for the guy to give it to you freely.. If you want him to hold you, walk over and put his arms around you. If you want him to take you on a date, TAKE HIM on a date.. you know? Stop waiting.. Cause things never fall into your lap.. ever. The odds that something great like that would happen, at the right time, when you want it to happen, is more rare than being hit by lightning. So just find the "balls" to go after what you want.. A future, a family, that cute bartender.. whatever it is you want, fight for it. Make it happen by yourself. If anything, it'll give you more confidence in the long-run.

    And as for shooting him a message.. I encourage you NOT to waste your time. If he's that much of a jackass, he doesn't need anything but to hear "bye" in a sincere voice. Don't return his calls.. Ignore any contact he tries to initiate.. etc.. Just move on and be done with it. Why suffer any more than you already have?

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • I don't want to hear his voice, that's why I'll send a message. and yeah he's a complete Jackass and I suffered alot. I couldn't believe that he doesn't care a bit...

      I don't think he'll even contct me...Let God get him down better..

    • All that vengeance your expressing could be put to better use.. Rather than wishing him ill, wish him luck... Wish him prosperity.. It takes a brave soul to stand against evil with an open heart and forgiving arms.. You don't need to take to his bullsh*t behavior as if it's non-existant.. But by saying: "It's okay, I forgive you for the hurt you've caused me".. YOU are starting a change that this world will know in due time. If more people did that, just imagine how great this world could be.

  • Good for you. I would recommend that you write down somewhere in a journal like the 5 very important things in a man. I would write down something like 1) honesty 2) hard working 3) gentleman 4) sense of humor 5 ) compassionate . Whatever it is that you want. Those are just my examples. I would definitely include honesty, though. And next time a guy asks you out, while you are with him, check those 5 things with him and if he breaks one of them then don't go out with them again. You don't need to tell him about the 5 items but just keep them in your own mind. This will help eliminate those jerks for you and find better guys. It's a more logical approach to dating that would help you.

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    • Thank you so much for the valuable advice :)

  • I think if you go all out and say that you are very unhappy and would like more attention from him, that is much better than beating around the bush or playing silly games in hopes that he'll "get it". I've answered a lot of your questions about your boyfriend and he's remained consistent based off your questions about him. If he's unwilling to change, then by all means you should be looking out for you now if he's not going to. There's only so much you can do before you figure out that you don't mesh well with someone.

    I would advise you to do the same thing that the rest of us do: Don't get wrapped up and invested in someone that you don't know a good bit first. Don't try to replace him with a rebound, because that's not fair to anyone else. Enjoy your single life and find the things you appreciate. Spend your time doing something that you wanted to do but didn't because you were in a relationship. Spend the time you did on the relationship on a hobby instead. Make sure you nurse your (emotional) health if you are upset about the breakup at all. Don't rush into anything else if you are harboring other feelings that you haven't settled yet.

    Not sure how much of that advice would apply to you. Take what you can use :)

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    • It's a final decision by the way. I'm not trying to get any more attention. I just want to get out. and yeah, I'm looking for myself now, no rebounds :)

    • What do you hink of the message? If you recieved this text from a girl, what would you understand? any modifications are welcome :)

    • If I received that message, I think the lack of emotion towards me would sort of get the message across that you are serious and this is the last decision. I'm not sure what he's been saying to you lately as far as trying to fix things, but that kind of message is very plain, says what it needs to say and that's it. It gets it's point across how I'm sure you wanted it to.

  • I'm sorry this has happened, but now you are free to find someone to appreciate you. You can resume growing...out in the light.

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  • I've already told you how to do it. But here it goes again...

    If only we could keep things the way they were in the beginning life would be perfect. The little things we do to reassure the other person we are still interested, the messages sent right before we go to bed, the flowers and gifts to show how much we miss them. But as time passes, things change.

    I realize that you are focusing on your career. You have your priorities in life and that in itself is commendable. I am sure you will be very successful in whatever you put your mind to. Go for that dream job of yours in which you will be traveling the world. You deserve to be free and that is why I am writing you now.

    I feel that I deserve more out of life than the cards have before me. These past few months I have done a lot of self-reflection. Everything happens for a reason and it took till now to see the big picture. It took a lot of courage on my part to admit I was wrong. The future as I saw it will not come to pass, or at least not the way I had envisioned it.

    It has been a long journey and I will remember all of the fond memories. I wish you the best of luck in your career and a lifetime of happiness with whomever you meet.

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    • Do not mention the reasons since he knows what they are and doesn't care to read about them. Don't be spiteful or take jabs at him. Sincerely wish him the best and pray for him.

    • won't pray for him but definitely won't be rude. Thanks for the kind wishes, Josh :)

  • Do it =] Its all it takes, and it'll be so worth it, if your committed to it. Good luck Sally :)

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  • Sorry but you kick them from own life that decision is very nice

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  • Sad. *HUG*

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you`re doing the righ thing. I`ve noticed your questions getting worser and no one deserves to be treated like that. You deserve better and you should tell him that.

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    • Do you agree with the message? any modifications will help :)

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    • hahaha no, never!

    • Good! :)

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