Is my friend mad that I can't just 'hang out?'

Have a guy friend whom I went on a few dates with about 5 years ago. I didn't see him as anything more than a friend back then and we just kinda drifted apart after that. Recently got back in touch and went out a couple of times. We've never kissed or anything. However, I now see him in a different way and am interested in dating him. It actually came out during a conversation that I felt this way. He was pretty shocked. He just assumed I still only saw him as a friend.

He just got out of a long term relationship (they lived together and were engaged; he ended it), then he got dumped in a rebound relationship—both pretty recently. Because of this, he said he's not interested in anything serious right now, but we can 'hang out.' I know from experience what this means "date, but not call it dating so I have no ties/obligations to you and I keep my options open." Plus, he seems like a bit of a player--has several girls that he sees. Not my cup of tea. I'm almost 40, ready for a relationship and refuse to just 'hang out.' Hanging out fine/fun in the short term, but after a while, it just gets frustrating.

I told him in a nice way that I can't just 'hang out,' and while he said 'it's cool,' I think he's a bit miffed. I still consider him a friend and don’t want to ruin that.

Guys, would this bruise your ego—would you take it personally? Or would you just say 'whatever! next?'

Updates:
Forgot to mention, he liked me back when we went out several years ago.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Well he might be a little annoyed but it's not really fair of him to be mad at you for it. If I were him, I would understand that we are just looking for different things.

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    • Oh, I agree that it's not fair. What really solidifies that he's annoyed is that he keeps posting about going out with other girls every day on FB. I think he's doing it to p*ss me off because the way he found out I like him is that I told him I was jealous of him going out with some other chick later the same day we last hung out. He knows I read his posts...well, past tense now. I removed him from my news feed the other day. What an immature douche.

    • I would just remove him from Facebook completely and stop talking to him so he knows you are moving on.

What Girls Said 0

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