Is she just using this as an excuse to not hang out with me?

There's this conservative girl I met in one of my major classes. I'm not shy to talk to her in person. We do talk quite a lot. There was one time where I did text her for a month, and she always replied. But I did tone down on the texting because I was being paranoid that it might annoy her. Later on, I asked her if she had any plans on the weekend. She then replied to me that she'll be having bonding with her friends over that weekend. Is she just using that as an alibi not to go out with me? My friends also told me that I should have called her so it would be easier to tell rather than texting, which I regret not doing. I need help on this please, because I really like her a lot. Thanks!


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What Girls Said 1

  • Too hard to tell from just one instance. Ask her out again next weekend or something. If she says no again she's probably not interested.

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What Guys Said 1

  • That excuse does seem rather vague and sheepish. If a girl really likes you, she will take time out of her day to make a date work. Calling would have made it easier to get a decent read on her intentions(you can hear the long pause, and her hesitation), whereas a text message allows her time to sugarcoat her response.

    If you really like her, just allow the weekend to pass and keep things flowing as usual. Forcing the issue will make you seem either desperate or annoying, and that hurts your chances of winning her over in the long run. From what I'm getting based on the information you provided, she doesn't like you the same way that you like her. You have been "friend-zoned".

    How do you get out? That's the billion dollar question. Some say you force the issue and impress her with resilience, while others say that you give her the cold shoulder and let her realize what she's missing. Pick your poison.

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    • Well, since it's summer over here and I only have a few weeks left before school starts, my friends told me not to text her or make any other kind of contact with her until then. And they told me to start flirting with her. Is that a bad way to get out of the friend zone?

    • They pretty much described the "cold shoulder" technique. Cut off all contact. From personal experience, it's 50/50. Some girls respond the way you want them to, others just don't care. Either way, you are allowing the truth to surface, rather than constantly dealing with these charades.

      All you can ask for is the truth. If she cares, she will text you eventually. If not, then she was never really interested. Is this a great method to get out of the friend-zone? Yeah, but be prepared for truth.

    • It was already planned that I won't text her until my next school term starts, and so far, I didn't text her for a week. But when I went to school yesterday, I bumped into her. She was happy to see me and she gave me a hug (she's never given me one before). Then I asked her how her weekend was (the weekend where I planned to ask her out), and she was straightforward with her response, no long pauses or nervousness. I guess I'll have to take some patience while reading her actions.

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