Dating with a severe food allergy?

I am a teen and I've never been kissed but I'm really nervous about it because I have a severe allergy to tree nuts (potentially fatal). I'm afraid that when I get a boyfriend he won't understand the severity of it or I won't know how to explain to him what he needs to avoid if he wants to kiss me safely because it can be rather awkward and embarrassing. Does anyone out there have any suggestions on how to do this? Is there anyone who has or who's boyfriend/girlfriend has a food allergy? How do you deal with it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hi! I also have a severe allergy to tree nuts! I dated a guy for a few months. I had my 1st kiss at a party where he ate the catered food. Neither of us thought there would be any nuts in the food he ate, but apparently, there were because I had a very mild allergic reaction after. I got 1 hive and my lips swelled up a bit and my throat felt scratchy. My parents and I went to the hospital, just to be safe, but I was fine with a little Benadryl. After that, we decided we would only kiss 8 hours after he ate food that he couldn't read the ingredients on. I don't know how faithfully he followed that, but it never happened again. It is important that he knows that brushing teeth will not get rid of the protein in saliva that causes the reaction. I would suggest cooking together for fun and teaching him to read ingredients. Maybe give him info on your allergy. I used to be really nervous and insecure about sharing information about my allergy because people gave me a REALLY hard time about it in grade school, but now that I'm in college, people are a lot more understanding and I'm starting to realize it's not something I need to be embarrassed about. Just remember these 2 things: 1) If he's not understanding and helpful with your allergy, you don't want him anyway. When you get married, you'll be sharing a kitchen, toaster, cookware, etc. That's a lot more work for him than just making sure he waits the right amount of time to kiss you. If he isn't accepting of it in the beginning, it won't work out in the long run. There are guys out there who will be understanding and want to keep you safe, so don't settle for less. 2) You deserve to be with someone who actively wants to take care of you. Not just someone who "puts up with" your allergy. Everyone has flaws. By loving a person, you decide to accept their entire self. Your allergy is part of who you are and not something to be ashamed of. If they hold it against you, they don't deserve you, plain and simple.

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    • I guess what I'm trying to say is- by him following the things he needs to do to keep you safe, he's proving that he deserves you and cares about you, so don't put so much pressure on yourself about it. You just need to make sure you don't agree to kiss him if you don't feel safe and only date guys who can comprehend allergies (some people just never get it lol.) I'm sorry this answer was soo long. Good luck!

What Guys Said 1

  • I would just tell him straight up that you have bad allergies. I'm sure any guy would understand. One of my best friends has really bad nut allergies, and my friends and I even remember not to eat an Oh Henry! around him or something like that. So I'm sure if you tell him, he'll remember.

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    • Thnx that makes me feel a better! I've just dealt with a lot of people that were really annoying about my allergy so I stopped telling people unless they're my friends or they ask why I'm not eating because it just makes it easier. I guess if a guy really liked me he would remember.

What Girls Said 1

  • I have really bad allergies to stuff like pollen...one time I was eating ribs and I started breaking out and my ex was actually really understanding about it and made me take a benedryll to get better.

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