Should I start calling her more often or let her come to me?

It's been a month and half since myself and the girl I'm crazy about took some time apart. We started dating just 3 weeks after her previous 4 year relationship ended. So I told her to take some time cause I really liked her and wanted an honest shot. Recently she started wanting to spend time with me but only about 1 day a week and a phone call or text here or there. This makes me happy but its torture the next days after when I don't hear from her and can't spend time with her.. I continue to let het come to me. I'm at my breaking point now though. I want to send her a letter telling herhow I still feel about her and how I want to sta!rt dating and see whete it goes. should I do this. should I start calling her more often and make plans or should I keep letting her come to me

The letter is basically stating that I have been patient and am ready to see where this can go. Not asking for full on relationship just an open heart and more time together
Thanks you all. I wrote the letter and felt much better. I'm not gunna give it to her though. Gunna pick up the pace a little and see what her reaction is.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm..I say that you have already been letting her go to you and left things in her hands, and so far she is showing that she is still interested. So I say it's time for you to step it up and make a few suggestions to go out and see how it goes. If she seems distant and not too interested then I wouldn't make more of an effort. However if she gets excited to meet you for a date and you both have lots of fun, then you know that you both have potential for future dates as a couple. I am having a dating situation as well with someone I really like and I don't want to give up too easily because I feel the potential is there. Trust me when us girls still maintain contact, even if it's a little here and there it's because we want you to know we still are interested. Sometimes, we don't want to seem like a needy or clingy girl and that is why we do our best to limit the number of our texts and calls. Also, I see that your in my age group and single people in our age group are most busy with our careers and do our best to show the other person interested that even though we are excited to date and hear from them; nothing in our life is going to change..yet. In our 20s we drop everything and put the relationship first. However, in our thirties we learn that wasn't the smartest thing to do. So if she can only date once a week it's because she wants you to know that she isn't going to drop her life or change her plans to be with you..yet. I'm sure she is hoping and waiting that you will step it up and then once you guys have some great dates things will fall into place and she might skip work to spend a day with you! Best of luck to you!


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What Girls Said 2

  • It sounds to me like she is playing the field. Either with her ex, or other guys. And coming to you when she's free, I would explain to her that you need all of her or none, and see what she say's. Because at the end of the day if she says she doesn't want to give you that, your wasting your time. Best of luck!

  • I dunno, I wouldn't pour it all out there, this girl seems noncommittal.

    I thought you said you've been dating for 3 weeks, so why do you say later on that you want to start dating and see where it goes? Are you dating or not?

    And you've already verbally told her that you want to give her time because you like her? If the words "I'm interested in you/I like you" have been mentioned, there is noooo need to write a letter. Trust me, she heard you. She's either processing, weighing her options or recovering from her relationship. Or all of the above.

    Is she a busy woman? School, work, anything else keeping her busy?

    Personally, I wouldn't flood her with calls, texts or plans. Long relationships are a total drag and "finding yourself" after you get out of one can be a lengthy and very important process, especially if she was really into the guy. Getting in the way of that would be a mistake, I think.

    I think as long as it's clear that you're interested but that you've got your own thing going on whether or not she decides to see where this is going is the best atmosphere that could be set right now.


What Guys Said 1

  • a letter is a no-no, it basiclly says I'm scared to confront you... you should initiate however more texts, calls... if you're having a good time when hanging out, then call her to hang out more...