Muslim/ middle eastern courting/ "dating"

So one is not allowed to date... how do you get from single to married then? How do you learn about this person you are meant to spend your life with, if the process is "all or nothing"?


Most Helpful Girl

  • i have an experience in this cause I used to be a middle eastern muslim, well your are not allowed to learn about the person , if God has sent this person into your life then you should accept your fate no matter what, besides all marriages are arranged traditional ones, parents decide that its time for their sons to get married so they go ask other parents about the perfect bride and once they chose one its for her parents to decide whether they want the groome or not and of course most of the times they do , and in cases where the girl actually tries to get to know the guy before getting married she will probably get herself killed, its a taboo in the majority of middle eastern countries

    • I deduce from your answer that all couples get married irrelevant whether they love or not. Is there a notion that love will come "after marriage" It would be interesting to see how the middle east's divorce rate compares to the West.

      So, if you want to get married to a religious middle eastern Muslim and you do not move in the family circles then you will not have success. From your experience, do Muslims in the west at all adapt courting? And how?

    • well first marriage is considered a kind of a routine obligation, they get married because they have to, it doesn't even matter whether their will be love after marriage or not, its the same case for having children, second in the majority of families there's no such thing as divorce , once you get married you have to stay with your spouse forever whether you were getting along or not, but its varies from men to women, for example if the man didn't like his spouse he can have a second third

    • or forth wife, but the woman has to accept her husband in all cases and take care of her children and house or else she'll be considered a source of disgrace to the entire family.but muslims in the west have a bit adapted to the western lifestyle, some of them do tolerate courting and relations before marriage but again double standards still play a huge role even in west.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • From what I've read the focus in their culture isn't on the happiness of the individuals in the marriage, but the benefit their marriage will produce for their family and society as a whole. Many cultures have arranged marriages and this is not really different. As time goes by things have gotten a little less strict in some places but there are a lot still where it is practically 1000 years ago.


What Girls Said 2

  • I come from south asian, muslim heritage (not Paki). I have many, many cousins and I have been at all of their weddings (39 in total; not all of them are direct cousins). When the child seems ready to be married, their parents search for a match for them. The woman usually has a say, if she likes the man or not. But some extremists don't give their women a say and the marriage is haram (illegal) in the eyes of Allah.
    Then they do get to know each other (under the watchful eyes of a chaperone) and then the marriage continues. Dating is haram as it can lead to unlawful things such as kissing, premaritial intercourse, etc.

  • Not all Muslims have an arranged marriage, and when they do, both the woman and the man must meet in public places with the family informed or even with them to get to know each other before going forward because marriage is only legal in Islam with the girl's consent, the only 2 rules are: no premarital touching and not being alone in a closed area together whether it's arranged marriage or not.