I need to choose between two men. I love them both. PLEASE HELP

So here's my problem. I was in a relationship with my ex for 4 years, the first two years were great except for a few minor issues, the next two however were not that great for me, he became distant and didn't seem to be attracted to me anymore, but I stayed because I loved him. He bought a house for us to live in together, but he just became more distant, saying that he wasn't sure I was the one he wanted to be with. He NEVER cheated on me and I know he never would. In January one of his friends moved into the house with us, a girl, he has never been attracted to her but it was always obvious (I guess not to him) that she had feelings for him. In the end of December he told me he needed space, I thought I gave it to him but I guess it wasn't enough and in late January (soon after she moved in) he broke up with me. I was heart broken and spent two months crying while I could hear them laughing and having a fun time downstairs, it killed me.

I finally decided I needed to go out with my friends and get over him. this is when I started to remember the feelings I had hidden from myself about my best male friend, I always had a crush on him. when I used to bartend he would come visit me every night I was there and stay late to help me close up, we lived together about two years ago and got along great. In the begining of February he told me that he's had a crush on me since he got to know me, which really threw me off. but I told him I wasn't ready and we left it at that. Until about a month later when I started spending more time with him,we kissed and it was like magic. He is a hopeless romantic and constantly tells me how beautiful I am and how much he loves me and can't believe he gets to be with me. We moved really fast and started looking at apartments together, I really feel like I could spend the rest of my life with him.

Re-enter the ex, who says he's so sorry for the pain he put me through and he wants to change (which I know he already has) and that if he could marry me right now he would, because he can't live without me. Of course I still love him but I can't help thinking that I would regret loosing my best male friend.

Also, my friends and family much preffer the second guy.

Everyone seems to dislike my ex, even before he hurt me.

PLEASE HELP.

Updates:
You were right, I just didn't see it. How stupid of me! I'm not being sarcastic by the way. I really didn't love either of them. it's pretty sad and I feel like a bad person for how things ended with my best friend..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • YOU DON'T LOVE EITHER OF THEM... do not even attemt to claim what the definition of love is to you ,because it is nothing of what you know it it to be ! Fn ridiculous ! There I HELPED feel better?

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    • thankyou for the best answer, sorry for being so harsh. hurts to hear harder to see.

    • yeah I didn't want to believe it and thought you were just an ahole. but I understand completely now. had a lot of people telling me the same thing. so much happier now that I've moved on from both unhealthy relationships. I thank you!

    • LOL I still can be an ahole ,but your welcome. if ya want any more harsh advise I'm more than happy to accommodate. lol

What Guys Said 2

  • No, you don't love both. If you think you're in love with two men, then you don't actually love either. You're in this situation because one person is available and letting you use them and one person is sexually attractive to you and unavailable.

    Grow up.

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  • Looks like the unattainable fruits are more delicious! Both for you and the two guys!

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What Girls Said 3

  • It boils down to this: In some extreme situation where you just have one minute to live, who would you want to talk to to tell him that you love him? The first guy that pops into your head is the guy you love.

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  • I think ultimately you know the situation best and have to decide this one based on your own feelings. Don't go by what others say.

    Flip a coin. While it's in the air you're gonna hear a voice in your head hoping for one outcome. Whichever that outcome is, is your answer.

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  • If you LOVE the first one, you wouldn't even LIKE the second one. Think about it yourself. No one can choose for you.

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