Are men afraid of me? Why is it, that I never get the guy that I, in fact really want?

What is so wrong with me! I'm nearly 21, a virgin, and an actual decent person. The guys that I always find attractive, and that I always have mutual chemistry with, almost always end up already having a girlfriend. which in any case, leaves me heart broken falling for someone who is already taken that I can never have or he'll almost never make a move. The guys that do approach me or usually twice my age, lazy and don't value me as worth taking seriously, or are guys who I have no attraction/chemistry with. Why? I'll never put a guy down or dismiss the courage it takes, because I'm sure it never gets any easier for men to approach a girl, but I'm tired of being the girl who always finishes last. What the hell! Is the problem me? Am I not good enough? Are men afraid of me? Should I just jump off a bridge? Or are these men just punks/losers? Any thoughts, tips, experiences, and/or stories are all welcomed!


Most Helpful Girl

  • Because you are still pretty young, it might be that the men you are interested in are looking for easy girls to play with. They might (rightly) assume that you should be treated with more respect than that. Just focus on becoming the woman you ultimately want to be and trust that when the right guys comes along, you will be ready.

    Good women are few, and the number of guys that want to date them are many. There is nothing wrong with you. And there is nothing wrong with being selective. Be patient. Flirt every now and then: it's good for you. And just trust that the right guy will come.

    And the more you socialize with groups of guys that you find attractive, the more likely you will pair up with a good guy. So go out and socialize more. It has the added bonus of keeping you from getting bored or lonely.

    • Report

      Thank you! I try not to feel bad sometimes, but I'm only human, and approaching my 21st birthday next month, and growing up older, not any younger, has lent itself a little bit of an identity complex on my part. I just wonder, If I'm like a loser or some type of freak. why wouldn't someone be attracted to a good woman, but you're totally right, and I do appreciate your wise words, and advice. I'm not desperate or pathetic enough to want just anybody, that's part of the reason why I have waited.

    • Report

      Take this time to learn how to handle these emotions in a healthy way. It will come in handy someday when you get married or have children. And take advantage of this time to live exactly the life you want to live. There will never be a better time to find out what makes you happy, than right now. Whatever you do, don't look at a having a singles status as being any indication of your value. No man can give you value. And no man can take it away.

    • Report

      that was deep, but ever so needed. thank you, sincerely. you must make your man awfully happy!

      Jamaica Outttttttttttttt