Guys, if a guy you knew (but not close) likes the same girl you like, how would you feel?

Would your feelings for the girl change?

Would you stop pursuing her?

Would your impression of her change?

How would you react?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Would your feelings for the girl change?
    - I'd be more cautious, but still interested (what if she's playing us against each other?)

    Would you stop pursuing her?
    - Not unless I saw my friend getting more attention than I was (basically, if she was more interested in him, and I saw that I was fighting a losing battle)

    Would your impression of her change?
    - Nope :)

    How would you react?
    - I wouldn't, I'd just live my life and focus the same level of attention on her that I want to. In some rare cases, I might invite her out more if I felt she was truly worth it, but if it was a "stranger" then it's likely that I wouldn't trust her enough at that point to make a significant reaction..

    ~ ArtistBBoy

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    • I really regret telling the guy (who I like) that another guy he knows told me he likes me.

      I'm afraid his feelings for me will change. What do you recommend I should do he I want his feelings for me to stay the same? Because.. after I told him this, he seems a bit more distant and cautious..

      Should I tell him that I have no feelings for the guy or would this make things even more awkward?

    • Don't talk to him about the other guy.. Just keep making plans with him - and when the "other guy" comes around (the one that likes you..) just act cold/distant with him. It's like showing your respect and intentions upfront.. And if you just talk about them, he has no way to really believe you, which in turn means that if he ever saw you in a hairy situation (e.g. that guy comes up to talk to you..) then he would call you a lier/slut/etc in which his feelings wouldn't be the same.

What Guys Said 7

  • I've had this happen to me plenty of times, and it really depends. Most times I go by whether or not I knew her first, if the guy met her through me, and I made it clear I was interested, then he needs to back off until we figure out if we're going to date. If it's the other way around, then it's my turn to back off and let him have his chance without trying to get in the middle of it.

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    • What if the girl told you she doesn't see him more than as just friends? Would you still let him have her?

    • Wel if she was clear that she had no interest in him whatsoever then sure, I'd have a go. But it would have to have been made really clear to the other guy that the only reason I was asking her out was because she had no interest in him and said so. Not saying things like that can cause problems.

    • Should tell him that I told the other guy I have no feelings for him or would it be better for me to not talk about it anymore and hope that he forgets?

  • If I really liked her, I would compete with him. If I felt more meh about the situation, I'd let him have her.

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  • It would become sort of a competition/race to get the girl. I would probably want her even more.

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    • but what if the other guy (who likes the same girl) is not better than you, if worse, since you know who that guy is? (plus you know the girl doesn't have feelings for him)

      Would you still feel the competition?

  • i would just give up on the girl.

    i will feel jealous and even a bit angry... but I will still give up on her.

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    • but this guy knows he is much bette than him and is super confident. Would he still give up? He even gave me advice on how to make things clear with the guy.

    • can you clarify on who's who? I'm a bit confused by what you are trying to say.

  • my ex and I are trying to get back together. her current boyfriend is a rebound (from me). I've told her I still like her and she's done the same. we're just having a tough time getting back together

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  • If I were more confident I'd probably pursue you even more before the other guy gets you. But, being who I am, I'd probably just stop pursuing you altogether to save myself the humiliation of competing with another guy and (in all likelihood) losing.

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    • This guy is SUPER confident and he knows that he is better than the other guy. I asked for his advice, and he said he's not the right type of guy and that he knows WHO IS, and he began describing the guy which sounded pretty much like himself.

      The only concern is that he stopped contacted me and quit Facebook after our convo. He may be busy because of exam time or he may be avoiding me.

      What do you think?

    • I think that doesn't sound like "I like you" behavior. How do you know this guy likes you?

    • He calls me consecutively if I don't pick up, gets angry when I don't text him back, asks me to go wine tasting with him and eat dinner, says he'll do things for me, tells me to come over so he'll cook for me (and my brother), he's super super nice to my brother, smiles at me with every eye contact, compliments me on how nice I am, etc..

  • Honestly it wouldn't change anything. Now if I found out she liked someone I knew (but not close) I might change my stance. I try to figure out why she likes him and if it's worth it or not. I.e. a woman at my work liked this one manager. He was young, immature, etc. Not the best looking guy either. Since I thought of myself as better than he is, I decided she is not worth pursuing.

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    • OH MY, I really don't want him to think that and stop pursuing me. Because, he KNOWS he is much better then the guy who said he likes me.

      What should I do?

      Tell him I have absolutely no feelings for the guy or what?

    • Should I ask him advice and tell him I don't know how to make that guy stop liking me..?

      Or would this make this worse..?

    • I think you missed something. I said if you liked the other guy then he might not pursue you. I don't think you have anything to worry about. You could just say that it sucks when you like someone but they don't like you back.

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