Should I hang out with my ex if I have an unofficial bf?

So I'm currently dating this guy who's really great. He's so intelligent and smart and fun to be around. But the only time we're together is on the weekends on Friday and Saturday and we don't really go out or anything. We just stay at my place and watch youtube, cook, or do the do all day and night. But we aren't official yet and it's been about 2 months. He says he wants to get back in school and get a job first before we become official and that seems understandable but I think I might have to wait a month or 2 for that to happen. I'm kinda getting tired of waiting and he always wants to hang out with his best friend instead of me, who's a girl. All his friends joke about them trying to hook up and it makes me nervous but she has a boyfriend. But it's weird because she does more things with my boyfriend than she does with her own. But my ex wants to hang out tonight and I still talk and hang out with him too but I wanted to do something with my boyfriend tonight and like go out to one of his friend's parties. He's either going to chill with the guys or his best friend's party. But his best friend (the girl) is also having a house warming party. I asked him if I could go but he said he doesn't know because it's not up to him. That sends a red flag in my mind that maybe he just doesn't want me around her because he doesn't want to get all lovey dovey when we're together by her. He's probably not even going to ask her if I could come so they can be alone and she's begging him to come on his Facebook wall. I would love to come but maybe he's up to something if he's not trying to invite me along. Anyway, I'm thinking about hanging out with my ex tonight and going to the movies to watch Pirates. I told my boyfriend I was hanging out with him but he doesn't know he's my ex. I think I should tell him that he is but he says he doesn't mind if I hang out with guys. So should I hang out with my ex or just stay home alone?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • By all means NO, NO, and, oh yeah... NO!

    You do not know the depths of your boyfriend's security, be it he is a selfish nor secure person. Besides, hanging out with your ex can set you up to jeapordize your current relationship.

    My brother is facing this dillemma... He has a Live in Girlfriend that has a child, but she still frequently "sees" her ex (her ex is the father of her child...) . He found out about their rendezvous and he threw her out of his house. Telling her, "If you love him so much, take your (plural) child and live with him together! Get the f*ck out of my house!"

    If you desire that not to happen, I advise you to just leave your ex alone.

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    • Well I didn't hang out with him but I did decide it was time to move on from my unofficial boyfriend. We weren't official anyway and I made a mistake by acting as if it was a real, official relationship by giving up the goods and doing everything I normally do in a real relationship

    • I don't know about that... I can not comment. I don't do the "unnoficial" thing... I am a one woman man, myself. I am not dating anyone, but in my eyes, all things are official. I conduct myself as if it is official even if she thinks otherwise. It is a test, if you ask me. However, you made your decision. I can not confirm nor deny if it were the best or worst decision for you, but if it works for you, then I suppose the outcome is desirable in your eyes.

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