Is one date really enough time to figure out if a person is right for you?

Just been wondering about this, I only recently started dating again after a "break", and gone out on dates with a few girls in which, we generally got along well, had good conversation, then after the date, I'll text her and thank her for the good time, etc., then... (usually after a period where she ignores me), she texts back something along the lines of "You seem nice but I don't think we could be anything more than friends".

I'm just perplexed by this because how can a person truly judge whether a potential partner is right for them in a half hours' time at a coffee shop? Obviously people have their guard up on a first date and don't go too deep into who they truly are, nor can the other person judge this. Now, aside from the whole 'looks' thing (where the date sees you and finds they're not attracted to you; which is the only thing that makes sense if make that judgement based on one date), is it truly a good decision to judge your date during the first time you meet them in regards to whether they are right for you or not? Maybe if the date would give you a chance really get to know you after breaking the ice, they'd be able to more accurate judge if you are right for them. Why does this "quick judging" occur, you think? (besides the appearance thing)

  • Yes, I think that deciding if a person is right for me after one date is a sound decision
    33% (2)25% (1)30% (3)Vote
  • No, I don't think that deciding if a person is right for me after one date is a sound decision
    67% (4)75% (3)70% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Sorry for the typos, forgot to proof-read! lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not enough time to decide if somebody is right for you. But you can figure out if they're definitely wrong for you. She decided that she had no romantic interest in you. At all. If there's none after date #1, there isn't going to be any after date #2.

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What Girls Said 5

  • One date is usually not enough if you never met before and don't know the other person well. However, if the guy comes on heavily after the first date, i.e. Texting constantly and using words like babe and darling, it does tend to make me run a mile and put me off completely wanting to see him again. I guess you've just been unlucky with the first dates you've had so far. Hope you meet someone soon who will give you a fairer chance to show them who you really are.

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  • It's just a time. Enough to know if you guys can have sparks. If you can't have it on a first date, and you do not have common friends that make you know each other better over time, woila, 1 date is enough.

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  • It's enough to tell if you DONT like a person. You don't need to spend 3 days with a guy to figure out there's no spark or further attraction there.

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  • Like everyone else has said...you might not be able to tell who's right after a first date, but you can certainly tell if they are completely wrong.

    PS. You're from the Springs? I grew up there!

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    • Ah a fellow... Spring..er! I moved here about 4 years ago, I like it a lot, mountains, 4 seasons, not too big or too small, just about right! The winters can get more cold than I'm comfortable with though, can't stand the cold! I probably move to Boulder later for the university there, I heard its nice.

    • I love boulder, of course I'm really biased because that's where I live. The only sucky thing about it is the drivers. Nobody can drive there.

  • It's enough time to know that she's wrong for you but right? Nah, it may take a lifetime.

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What Guys Said 2

  • DAting is a strange institution, essentially doomed to be a superficial encounter, so a lot of women just go along for the free entertainment, have no intention of ever staring anything serious with almost anyone they date...

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  • I think it's enough time to find out if someone is wrong for you.

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