Breast cancer and dating? Help!

HI, I am a 41 year old attractive female who had because about 7 years ago and doing well. The problem is that I had radical surgery with implants. I look great considering, just a little different that the others. Dating is tough, usually when I disclose this information, rejection sometimes follows. I want to believe that not all men will be turned off by this. Any advice?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know how you're meeting guys but I'd suggest you try the online route if you haven't. okcupid.com is a great site that's completely free. I met my wife there.

    In your profile you can include that you are a breast cancer survivor (congratulations, by the way) and if a guy can't live with your restored breasts, he should move on to someone else. However, if he is more into the connection and can accept good but different, you'd like to get to know him better.

    I'd put this near the end of your profile as sort of a by the way comment. I did something like this in my profile. I was married for 27 years the first time to a BBW and can't deal with big gals so I just said I don't find large women attractive for me. It worked great.

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    • Hi,

      Thanks for the response. I actually have been on the sites.. mainly Plenty of Fish and Match. I actually have it on the bottom of the profile. It is something I added later. I just have been rejected a few times (not everyone) but I have been nervous about putting myself on the line so I rarely take chances anymore. Anyway, you are right, I should move on if I am not execpted. Thanks for the congrats and good advice.

    • It sounds like you're doing the right things. Hell, the less invested you are in a guy when he sees the situation, the better. Maybe carry a classy photo on the second date and if things are positive, just show him. Might be easier to see the photo rejected that him seeing you in the flesh.

      One other thing that occurred to me is that you could consult a plastic surgeon and see if there's anything to be done. Not saying you look bad, just that if you could reduce the differences...

    • Thanks, I think I am doing all the right things. As far as I know, I have been to several doctors and they all said they have never seen reconstructed work that looks this good. I went to one of the best plastic surgeons at NYU. Like a said, I look good considering the situation, just a little different. Thanks!

What Girls Said 1

  • I don't think this is something you need to mention.

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    • I guess not right away, but eventually I will have to put myself in the line of fire.

What Guys Said 1

  • By no means will all men be turned off, only the shallow ones, and they ain't good for long-term stuff anyway. You've got a lot to be proud of, and a woman with your grit is gonna end up with an amazing guy, so keep right at it. Don't let the bozo's get to ya for a minute. ; - )

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    • Thanks for the reply. I guess this is exactly what I was hoping to hear. Thanks so much for the encouragement. Its definately not easy!

    • Boy howdy! Life can be a cart ride down a hill with no brakes sometimes, but when we finally run on flat land it always feels all the better for the adversities. Not that I've got anything against smooth sailin! Things are gonna even out for you. You'll see. ; - )

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