To have your woman financially dependent on you?!? What is so wrong with a woman being able to make it on her own without your help? Why do you feel so threatened?
Here's the deal: My husband is having a hard time with the fact that I now have a job. He's been deployed almost 5 months, and I recently got a job. The past year I have been completely and totally dependent on him. While we were dating, I made it just fine on my own. I never needed his help financially. Now that I'm working, I told him that I would make the car payments, bills, and groceries on my own and he could save all his money. Today we got into an argument about money. First it was "I'll pay for the car payments, you just pay the bills and then spend the rest of your money on whatever you want." When I got home from work, I had a message on my answering machine (my phone died in the middle of an argument.I think that was a sign from God lol!) him saying "Put ALL the bills and car payments on my account as an allotment and just spend your money on whatever you want". He wasn't being mean or sarcastic. When we were arguing, I told him not to worry about me money-wise, I'd be fine. He threatened to change his account and bank and said "we'll see if you can really make it on your own then". He knows I could because I'm doing it now. Why did he start changing it from just he car payments, to all the bills? Is it maybe some kind of control? Like I can't leave him because he's paying my bills? Or the fact that he WANTS me to be dependent on him and me becoming independent while he's deployed is making him nervous. He's always been very respectful and sweet to me, but lately there's a control issue starting with him. He knows I don't take that shit from him, he tried when we first got married over a year ago and I let him know that NO ONE controls me. He got over it, but this past month ever since I have been working, it's started up again. I'm at a loss of what to do. Why do men feel such a need to have control and make their women so dependent on them? What do you get out of it?
Most Helpful Guy
Well it goes back to the thought of men are supposed to be the ones who make the money and women are supposed to take care of the house, but in today society, that has changed, some men feel bad if there wife is making the money and he isnt, its a role reversal, but me personally I could care less if she makes more money than me, I know lots of guys whose wife makes more than then, either by inheritance or just because well they have a better job, it really shouldn't matter, if your splitting everything down the middle as in his money is her money and her money is his money if your married. I can almost guarantee you that the woman I will marry will make more money than me and I am cool with that if you put both salaries together it shouldn't matter. I know a guy who married a wealthy woman and he was cool with it, she had a bad ass ranch and he now runs it as a big game ranch, and his advice to me was hey man marry a rich girl. Look at Johh Kerry as much as I dislike the guy, he married the woman who has the Heinz franchise and he will no way in hell make as much as her, but he doesn't care he makes good money too not as much as her but so what.0