I am an 18 year old girl about to graduate high school. I started volunteering ever week at this soup kitchen run by the local university students to find a new crowd as I'm kinda done with high school. There's a guy there who is 22 that I like, and who is really friendly with me (and everyone else mind you). We've already hung out once before (after volunteering I asked him for a coffee, he paid for me). After talking I feel like we have a lot in common, and he opened up to me about his past, etc. I feel like we are a good match, but I'm wondering why he isn't picking up on my signals? I'm attractive, caring, and a good listener. Is it wrong someone who just graduated high school to date someone who just graduated university?
Most Helpful Guy
It's not a problem for you to date a guy who just graduated college as long as you are not under the age of 18 and you are not still in high school. It's only an age difference of 4 years.
You asked him out for coffee. That's a pretty strong hint. He paid for your coffee, that's a good sign. Hopefully you did the courteous thing and at least offered to pay for your own coffee and thanked him after he paid for yours.
Hopefully you followed up after coffee with a text message or a phone call telling him you enjoyed hanging out with him for coffee and that you appreciated hearing about his past which was intriguing and interesting to listen to. Basically, I am hoping you did that and I am hoping that he at least has your number. If both of these aren't the case, read on.
1. First thing you want to do is get him to ask for your number. Notice how I said "get him to" which implies that you should NEVER give your number unless he asks for it. If he doesn't ask, hint that you want to give it to him by saying something like "Hey you are a cool guy, I wish we could talk more often when we don't see each other face to face." If he doesn't understand that hint he is either 1. Gay 2. Not interested or 3. Doesn't have any game and is pretty clueless.
2. Tell him that you enjoyed your coffee meet and he seems like a fun guy. Then tell him that you hope he's more interesting besides just when he is having coffee with you. "Hey you're an interesting guy over a cup of coffee, but how about next time when we do something else besides coffee? hopefully you are!" <-- See what this does? You are NOT asking him out on date (WHICH IS something you should NEVER DO) yet you are suggesting at the possibility of a future hang out session and you are challenging him or keeping him on is toes that he should be interesting all around. You seem like the one whose not desperate and that you have the feminine sensibility to test the waters with every guy who "seems" interesting enough to hold your attention. This...is what you want.
In both the steps above you get him to ask for your number and you get him to ask you out without actually volunteering that yourself. If he is NOT interested, then you save yourself the embarrassment of having asked him out. Even if he was interested and you asked him out, you set the way for how everything will turn out. Since you'd be initiating, you'd also be surprised why he doesn't call or ask you out on his own which will almost always happen, because you made it that way from the start. So don't ever do that. The key is to hint and be subtle about everything and if the guy doesn't react properly to your signals, you can move on.1