How quickly do you become attached to someone?

I would say I am get attached very quickly, somewhere between 2 weeks - a month. It depends obviously on the frequency of communication and how compatible you two are. How about others? How long usually before you will get pretty attached to someone? What factors in the equation slow it down or speed it up?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would actually say a month if we talk on the phone and see each other. If I am content and comfortable in their presence, even more.

    If it's online or just text or just phone, definitely more than a month.

    It depends how and what we communicate about. The more personal it gets, the more attached. If it was online, not so much. IMs don't have that affect on me especially since I've used IMs for 10 years. It's played out.

    Messages or e-mails, somewhat but not really. It depends on the length and how quickly I get a response. If it's every couple of days to a week or two, no because too much time has gone by and my mind was preoccupied with other things, which is good 'cause I'm not worried about the next time I'll hear from him.

    However, there was a guy I talked to everyday for a week or two through messages. I was impressed he replied so quickly; so, I reciprocated. I mimic what is done to me. I liked his personality and wanted to get to know him better. I moved it up to text messages, and that fell through. He was bad at getting back to me; took him weeks; and wouldn't answer my questions. I shrugged my shoulders. I knew he was career-focused. I think about him once in a blue and I'm like what a shame, but he couldn't make the time. Sometimes a good conversation isn't all. It takes consistency.

    Another guy I spoke to every other day to once a week through messages, and it's been OK. I've been thinking about moving it up to text messages or phone calls, but the same thing crosses my mind. Will I find something in him I won't like, and then we stop talking?

    One guy was great in messages, texts, and phone and I thought I had a winner, but he holds back. We talk twice a week, and I felt a little close to him, but I refuse to get attached to an emotionally unavailabe person. A few months ago, I would try to work with him, but new me says, don't do it. Don't invest time in someone who won't invest it in you. Been there, done that too many times.

    If I like the phone conversations, the person is potential friend, hang out or date. The person has to show me they can keep up a intellectual conversation; otherwise, I will get bored. No one's fault. People are not always on the same level. I don't mind having easygoing conversations as long as they are not like that all the time because I will wonder what they have to offer. I like to learn from others, and would like others to learn from me. I like people that can add something to my life, not subtract. If someone can do that, I may or may not get attached.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I get attached pretty quickly. Mostly depending on how the relationship is going. If I can see him a lot and we talk, then I will get pretty attached pretty quickly. But if I never see them, or we don't have a lot in common, and stuff like that, then I don't get attached.

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What Guys Said 3

  • As a general rule, I don't really get attached to people. It's happened before and I got my fingers burnt, so I usually keep a distance between myself and anyone.

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    • If you never let people in, then you never will get to know what it's like to be in love.

    • That's something I'm willing the sacrifice. Besides, what is love except a social and chemical notion?

  • not quickly

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  • quickly

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