Is it wrong for a professor to kiss you?

My Professor gave me 2.7/5 on my 1st sight singing quiz, so I took some tutoring sessions.

On my next quiz he said I got a lot better, but he still gave me a 2.7 out of 5. So, my jaw dropped. Why did he give me a 2.7 the first time and the second time say I got a lot better, yet still give me the same grade!?!? I was so upset the rest of the class he must've saw it on my face (I have a tendency to make people feel what I am feeling) because he told me to come to his desk when class ended, he said. "I noticed that I was a little hard on you and I changed your grade to a 3.0."

This professor is also my private instructor for my vocal class. He asks me how I am doing, so I was honest with him and he kissed me on my cheek to comfort me because I'm disappointed that I haven't been improving in my sight singing the way I should be.

He always touches my hair and shirt and tells me I'm cute. I feel so uncomfortable.

Am I overacting? Advice?

Updates:
One more thing. I feel very embarrassed about the situation. :'(

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Professors are there to teach, not give you personal compliments or kisses on the cheek. Saying that you are "cute" is not academic praise. What he is doing is far beyond his call of duty, and you are not wrong for feeling uncomfortable and showing skepticism.

    Maybe you do come off as emotionally frail, and he is feeding off that. Just let him know that you are uncomfortable and he will back off. If you don't let him know, he will assume you either like it, or need it. This doesn't warrant a report to the dean quite yet, so long as he responds the right way.

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    • I feel you, my 1st grade teacher did the same thing to me. Never told anyone, and fortunately the whole thing blew over.

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    • I think we can agree that the one thing we would change if put in those circumstances again, is to speak up. Any rational person would back off immediately, and feel some kind of remorse.

    • Agreed. :) Thanks

What Guys Said 3

  • You are not overreacting. Your professor is crossing some serious boundaries. Report this to the administration - your professor is abusing his position. As for your embarrassment - you have nothing to be ashamed of, and the administration can and should keep your part in the disciplinary process confidential.

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  • He totally wants to tap that ass... Lol sorry but what you said is obvious unless a guy is gay kissing you means what you assume.. How you would handle this idk

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  • he likes u

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What Girls Said 4

  • Thats called predatory behavior. He's a predator and his taking advantage of you. Absolutely not over reacting! Your having a natural reaction to some one who is over stepping your boundaries, so good for you for listening to that inner voice. Now take action. 1.) You are not going to be a victim. Stand your ground. If you are not interested in pursueing something physical with him then lay to him! YOu speak your mind boldly and put him in his place. You don't have any reason to have bow down to his manipulation. You can do one of two things or both. 1,) In public, friend present or in private, tell him out right, and keep it simple, " Your behavior is innapropriate and I refuse to be put in such a position. Please do not touch and if your unable to maintain a proper, professional relationship I will have to take further action. Don't get into discussion with him, keep it point blank and no room for discussion, you mean business. OR 2.) Bring it to other faculties attention if by chance you think he could really create problems with your schooling. This chump is outta control and believe when I tell you, your not the only one. Stand up for yourself and you will never go wrong.

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  • Lol, to your update, well if you feel uncomfortable about it, you really need to speak to someone to get him to stop or something, and so it's not awkward you could wait till your class with him is over to report him, and/or have a friend watch and see if he does that inappropriate stuff to you again secretly so you have a witness. ;)

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  • That's not normal. College proffessor? I think alittle boundries are crossed there, I never remembered having a male teacher or proffessor do that to me. I'm not sure about other females relationships with their male proffessor though.

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    • I think so too.

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    • I know, but if she's uncomfortable it's different.

    • Exactly! I don't like to feel like because he is in a position that he can fail me if he wants to he can make me do what he wants. I feel like that's where this is about to go. It's scary, and it's not like he's an old creeper. He's young. He's only 32. And you have it backwards, it's female student and male teacher.

  • Wow, it sounds like he's messing with your grades too. Maybe transfer to a new class? It will cause less exposure with him. If he asks why, just say you have a new job and the class conflicts with your shift.

    Another alternative that I used when my tutor behaved inappropriately is kind of 'shut down' any reaction to him. Look at him passively, keep answers short and keep eye contact to a minimum. This worked for me :)

    Good luck :)

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    • I tried that already. Unfortunately, I go to a small school and he is the only one who teaches Sight Singing 2. My adviser asked me why I wanted to change; I just replied, "trying to organize my schedule."

      I will work on your body language suggestions, I try, but I could be more with it. Thanks

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