Do you have to date around to find "the one"?

I've been with my current boyfriend for 5 years. Parents don't care for him, long story. But my mom keeps saying that I couldn't possibly know that he is the "one" for me if I have never dated around. Is this true? Granted he is my first boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that I haven't been around guys, or been involved with other guys. I've been around the block enough times to know what a frog looks like. I have never gone on a date for fun an a free meal (heard that one tooo many times), only if I could see myself being with that person for a while. I also have several good guy friends and pay close attention to my friends and their bf's, husbands, etc. SO why should I ruin a perfectly good relationship just to date around? I mean dating isn't like tasting flavors at an Ice cream parlour. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, hmm... I'll have the chocolate. WTF? I don't get it. What do you think? Is dating around necessary or can you simply know? I thought a poll would be fun. Thanks guys!

  • Dating is necessary.
    20% (2)40% (2)27% (4)Vote
  • You just know.
    70% (7)60% (3)67% (10)Vote
  • Asking the wrong person, but I wanna see the answers.
    10% (1)0% (0)6% (1)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • B. You just know.

    I'm both fortunate enough to have found my love almost as soon as I found how, without commiting to any other relationships besides one very stupid short online relationship that I was doing more out of curiosity than anything else.

    Some people prefer to cut their teeth and date many different people to get a better understanding of who they want in life - these people tend to be the more cautious, sex after marridge types, but not always. Others, like me, can just date someone and find you have so much in common and that everything locks together seamlessly, and the relationship becomes perfect. I know we'll be together for the rest of our lives, it's hard to explain, you just know. We've had fallouts and arguments, which are essential for building a relationship, and sometimes for other weaker relationships those problems have been enough of a reason to walk away, but we've still stuck together.

    You just know. It might not occur immediately, like people like to glorify the whole 'love at first sight' thing, but within a short time, you'll know this is the person you'll marry, have kids and grow old with.

    Your Mum just has different opinions on matters of life. She sounds like my Dad - I once tried to tell my Dad that if I lost my girlfriend, I'd probably lose myself, and die. He lectured me for what must of been hours about how life goes on, I'll find someone else, I haven't realized there are more people who are better for me out there and so on. He insists too that I haven't found the one yet, and I'm just experiencing calf love, but that's because his philosophies on life and love are different. I follow what I've just told you, he follows something else. He's old.

    Don't ruin your relationship, that's just pointless. Why would you need to experience more when you've already got enough? The people who are trying to give you advice suck at it, in my opinion.

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What Guys Said 2

  • There's no 'rule' about this. Whatever makes someone happy..other people shouldn't make comments like that. Obviously Mom REALLy dislikes thisw boy or she wouldn't say such a thoughtless and just plain backbiting comment.

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    • Plus, datng is such an artificail institution, as you say, it's mostly women getting free entertainment in exchange for sex..how much do you really learn from that?

  • Your parents are just being asshats. They don't know sh*t, they just don't like the guy so they're trying to make you break up and try other people. It's sh*t parents need to stop doing.

    Imo, you just know. Dating around can help find them cause, well, you gotta find em, but if you find em you just know. If you're happy, be happy and don't worry about it cause it sounds like your parents are just butting in where they shouldn't. As much as parents think they know what's best, they often don't know sh*t.

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    • ^ I second dat. +1

    • Thanks guys. Things have been getting really rocky lately with my fam. To the point that my mom says she doesn't want him in her house (wtf after 5 years?). Our relationship is great he is willing to help my parents do anything...I think my mom is just bitter. She loves me to be sure but she can't separate her life from mine...I wish things were different. :'-(

    • Why is your mom bitter? And if she can't get over it, then you need to tell her "look, he's going to be in my life, and there's nothing that's likely to change that. you're only putting stress on me by acting as such." If you live away from your mom too I'd add if she wants to be a part of your life she should make the effort. Seriously, don't let em ruin something good.

What Girls Said 6

  • As much as I'd like to say "you just know," I think for the large majority of people it takes some time and experience to figure out what you like. How much time varies from person to person, and there are occasions when people do end up marrying their first love.

    Also, like Clair said, if you're feeling restless or curious about dating other people at all, that's really a feeling you should pay some attention to.

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  • You do, just know, but you can never know what's on his mind.

    If you're thinking like this, he may be thinking like this... and thinking they way you think is already a red flag, if you ask me.

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  • a lot of people think their "first love" is gonna be who they're gonna marry. it could be, but a lot of times it most likely won't be.

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  • when "the one" comes you just plain know that they are "the one". A lot of times parents try to break up the couple by getting overly involved in their business. If you are happy with the guy you are dating then continue with him. Its your say -not your parents. As long as he's treating you well that's what counts.

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  • No, if you're lucky enough to have found him earlier on in life, that's fantastic. but that's not the way it works for most people

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  • you just know. :)

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