So I'm a 25 year old virgin who's never had a girlfriend....
Still live with my parents, play lots of video games and watches a lot of movies.
I do go out from time to time, to parties and kick backs and drink with my friends. But I still struggle and still get nervous around girls I find attractive. I'm also trying to get a BA in history and a teaching credential. Oh and I also have ADHD.
You are shy around women. I think sometime in the past you became less and less proactive about meeting women. You became more involved with games, movies and your friends, which made you a little rusty when dealing with the opposite sex.
You want a girlfriend but are unsure how to get one.
For one I do believe anyone can make an honest opinion about you with the little bit of information that you have given. In my opinion one can not make an honest opinion about someone without knowing more about a person.
From reading what you posted I can tell that you a deciated, hardworking individual. As far as the video games goes in my personsal experience not to many girls are into video games so in some situations this may be a turn off for some women. However, that doesn't mean you have to quit playing them just maybe try to get out more. Your not going to met anyone sitting at home playing video games and watch movies alone.
You a single 25 year old guy.get out and have fun!
However I can say I know two other guys that are quite similar to you. One is 25, has had girlfriends, is not avirgin, he has at least 5 girls wanting to be with him and yet he sits at home with his computer, games, dog, and does nothing . He doesn't drinking so going out for him is a big problem. He is way mature then most of his friends and he doesn't feel as if he fits in.
The other guy is 30 and is a virgin and does the same.sits at home games, computer, and movies. They are both attractive but for some reason unknown to me those qualities just do not turn a girl on unless she is also into them.
So.as for the talking to girls! That's something you will need to get over if you ever want to met a decent girl. Many girls will not walk up to a guy and start talking they feel its the guys duty to appoarch them. Do not think of how pretty she is or how is may not be interested? do think how she will response to you? She talk to her as if she was a friend, family member.and just start a general converstion. Hello, How are you? do yo you live around here? Where do you work? What brings you out tonight? Thinks like that are great conversation starters.GOOD LUCK and let me know if you need more advice
I think you should get out of your parents house,I love video games and you can't go wrong with movies.
I think you sound like a guy who is very ambitious and shouldn't let the fact that you're still a virgin prevent you from being nervous or getting girls. And that is my god honest opinion about you ;*) good luck!
I do agree. I think you should probably get out more & don't be nervous around girls you think are cute! Why be nervous, it's just a girl! That is awesome you are in school trying to better yourself. You said you play lots of video games, I mean, are you obsessive about it or what? Would you rather spend time playing video games than going out with your friends? If that is the case, you just need to say "yes" to your friends more and "no" to playing video games more. Don't quit playing them, that's not what I'm saying at all (I myself am a video game junkie!), but do try to be more social and less of a hermit.
The whole girl thing, what really makes you nervous. Is it the fact you might say or do something embarrassing or is it you just don't know how to strike up a conversation with them, etc.?
Overall (with this limited amount of details), you sound like a good guy. You come off to me as the shy type, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Oh yeah, and who cares you're a virgin. That shouldn't matter.
If you don't ask any girls out, you won't go on any dates. Don't wait for them to come up to you, because most girls won't. Start out small. Just talking to a girl doesn't mean you are hitting on them not to us anyways.
As for the other stuff, like parents/adhd/videos/movies, there is nothing wrong with any of that stuff. Hopefully, you don't plan on living with your parents forever though.
Why don't you stop looking for girls who are "attractive" and find one who has some dignity plus morals?
She could be attractive but very VERY ugly in the inside. You need to be cery cautious. You never having a girlfriend looking for just an appearance is just.retarded and shallow. You need to look into getting to know someone first start out as friends. The fact you get so nervous it is better for you to enter a relationship by beginning a friendship first.
If you go out with someone you don't even know that's really stupid too because why would you be with someone you don't even know?
um first off I think you need to change a few things like playing video games and watching movies so often my ex is like that and I completely hated it after a while,secondly unless you have a really big house like one where you can be home and not see your parents for the day then you should move out as soon as possible if not in a small apartment a roommate would be even better than your parents.and you don't have to not be a virin for girls to date you also try going out by yourself to scope out girls don't wait till you're with your friends and don't be nervous you never kno what a girl could like unless you try
How old are you? It depends on how old you are, but you seem like a pretty cool guy, and someone who I would be interested in (not coming on to you, just being honest). But ya you sound like a normal guy, why are you still a virgin?
wow you have a lot of comments.. haha I semi agree with anonymous user. bit harsh tho. if your really nervous around girls then practice conversating with different people. even if it is the dairy man or check out chick (or video clerk...) haha. I dnt like it when ex bfs have been glued to computer games etc in the past, what fun is there in that? maybe after going out for a bit, seeing a bit of sun maybe it'd b ok just for you to zone out but for the time being if your wanting a change then mayb a few things need to be changed. cut down your play time and take a walk. your not gonna find a potential girlfriend in ur video games(unless your into anime porn). I'm 19 and live at home with my dad and am dying to move out. a few of my friends feel the same. if you like being at home then let that be ur base for now, work on a few other things. make yourself feel better it will definitely have an affect. bit of exercise, buy some nice clothes, good cologne (always ALWAYS a big help). if you find a potential, get to know her. you'd b suprised how many girls don't just go for looks. if you can hold a conversation and show genuine interest then you've got it. don't be scared everyones got to start somewhere.
Alright, I'll make sure that I put myself as Annon :)
You've answered your own question, your activities are all to do with you and yourself, even your area of study! There's nothing wrong with that, but if you want to meet more people (especially girls), you'll have to make some adjustments.
Adhd is not a problem as I know a guy like you but has no problems with girls.
There's nothing wrong with living with your parents. Don't bother listening to what other people say! As long as you and your parents are happy living togethe, who cares?! You work hard and play hard, when the right girl comes along, you'll know it :)
Don't rush yourself to anything when you're not ready!
Nothing is wrong with you. Actually, I REALLY like a guy who's a lot like you. Except he's almost 22.
You'll find a girl one day that will be patient with you, that will be able to gradually bring you out of that shell. I'm sure it doesn't help having friends that party and drink - sure you do that with them, but I'm gonna take a guess and say that most of them can count on more than one hand how many women they've been with or liked. Just don't let that stump you. Realize that when you DO meet a woman that has the ability to bring your guard down, she won't just be a dime a dozen like the rest. She'll be special.
The thing is, you obviously aren't anti-social. It's just that time keeps building on itself and you're psyching yourself out more and more that you're 25 and have yet to experience a relationship and all the goodness that comes with it.
But I promise - it WILL happen when it's supposed to. Nothing is wrong with you, you're just one of those guys who are meant to meet "the one" girl that will change your life.
um well I love video games and movies and stuff too so don't worry, the livin with parents thing doesn't bother me but it may bother and certain amount of girls so watch out for dat. and as for being a virgin you just wanna find da right chick das all. but their not gonna fall right in ur lap if that's what ur hopin for.
-Practice making small talk with everyone, not only attractive girls. Talk to bank tellers, supermarket clerks, classmates and teachers; talk to the old and the young, male and female, all races and all jobs. The more you make small talk with people, the more comfortable you'll get at it, so you won't freeze up when you have a chance with a cute girl.
-After a month of making small talk with strangers, set a goal of asking out one girl a week. If you're not accustomed to doing this, it will feel like a big step. But the more you do it the easier it gets, I promise. If you're afraid of rejection you'll learn that getting turned down is not so terrible. And if you set a goal and commit to it, you're far more likely to do it than if you tell yourself that you'll "someday" get more assertive.
-Cut down on the video games. There's nothing wrong with video games, but they can too easily suck you in and devour all your time. I'd suggest the same to anyone who devoted a lot of time to a solitary activity. Cut back on the video games, but replace them with a group activity; like another answer said cooking classes are a great way to meet women.
theres nothing wrong with you dude. at 21-22, I lost my virginity and I play a lot of video games and graduated college recently. I didn't go to a lot of frat parties but I kicked back and drank at home with my friends too. A lot of my friends would talk about sex with girls and I kind of sat back and didn't say much because I didn't want them to know I had not had sex yet.
You know what I found? the more outgoing you are and the more you make an ass out of your self in front of women, the higher your chances are to have sex. Be obnoxious, say things that you normally wouldn't say or don't have the balls to say, it shows confidence and they appreciate that.
worst comes to worst, you walk up to a girl, tell her she looks cute and you want to buy her a drink and she's says no, then there's really no need to ever talk to her again. Or, she sits with you and you chat and hit it off and she does sleep with you.
After making an ass out of yourself a few times eventually you will AT LEAST get a girl to talk to you which will build your confidence. The more you talk to girls the better you will get at doing it. I use to be shy and not talk to girls because I thought "what if she turrns me down" then I started thinking about it, if she turns me down I'm RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED. You literally lose NOTHING but a couple seconds of your day.
So don't be nervous, get out there and chat some girls up. If you have one, I strongly recommend using a wingman, someone who is good at talking to girls and will make you look good in front of them and their friends. Btw, if you like a girl and she's with a bunch of friends, kiss up to her friends because some times they will ultimately decide whether she goes home with you or not
Dude I'm gonna join this thing if I have to just to answer u. I'm exactly in the same boat except for the fact that I have had 2 girlfriends who both happened to be virgins and wouldn't sleep with me, I've fooled around but I just never felt comfortable with doing it with some random girl. But I have had the same two crushes you described and they really affected me too the one in highschool she's married now. And the one from university who dated an ex-friend who got her hooked on cocaine I tried to get her to stop but then it was just too sad to even talk to her, she's clean now though. anyway I have Adhd too and I'm finishing up a BA in poli science I moved back in with my parents 2 years ago even though when I was living alone they were still giving me money. I love movies and VGs. I used to be chubby but now I work out a lot and I am in shape and most girls rate me between a 7 and a 9 for looks. I get a lot of comments from girls about my looks. And what the hell I do so many activities, I box I can teach scuba diving I do anything outdoors. I've always had issues with disrespecting women, or offending them, sometimes I felt I was a creep or appeared creepy I had 0 game, I always have anxieties around girls but that is slowly starting to dissipate. I always have anxieties bec everyone has had sex with a lot of girls or even if not with a lot of girls then with two or onw but many times right? those anxieties got to me I had 5 clear cut oppurtunities with girls in their beds or mine and I couldn't perform or tried to get out of it not to mention how many times I get out of it before going home. But that's also brought about by how many times I STRIKE out with girls that I really want. when I actually asked myself why I didn't do it well bec I didn't really want to I let the pressure get to me and forced myself to do something I wasn't ready for completely. YOU NEED TO MAKE PEACE WITH YOURSELF! Ask yourself these questions;
1-I'm not telling you to move out but you have to start thinking about it ( Am I being fair to myself living at home) don't worry about image bec I know guys who've slept with the hottest girls and they still live at home? But if it's not who you think you should be or it doesn't fit with your own idea of happinnes and success then you shd start considering moving out if not then by all means save up on that rent buddy and have breakfast ready for ya and always have clean sheets and laundry its those losers that are suffering.
2- are you being all you can be? (sounds lame or sth from an army ad lol) but seriously you are ur own worst enemy, I can assume ur the type of guy that might beat up himself about stuff. STOP immediately! If you think you need to work out do it! if not then screw everyone else's opinion. If you think you have a talent painting that you never pursued then pursue it and stop telling yourself that you suck for not even doing the things you like.
Soul searching buddy closer look at things Switch Ritalin to aderal
Listen bro you need to change. These girls that are responding to you aren't doing you any favors. When I was younger I used to be just like you, and there are something you can do to make things easier.
1) You need to move out. Look you can never grow into yourself as an independent person and become a man until you start to live life on your own terms. Believe me, I used to get noooo play at all, but within a few weeks of moving out that changed and fast.
2) Playing lots of video games isn't a problem when you are single, nor is it a problem when you are dating. I gave up my video games because I was in your situation. I was in love with a girl, and she said straight up... you are lazy and you care way to much about your video games. It's not the same as drinking and watching the game with the guys okay. It's like going to the casino every night... instead of losing money you are losing time. Time is money.
3) I started playing sports and going to the gym. I was never bad looking, but now that I am in good shape I am very good looking. More importantly knowing that I look good as made me more confident. Confidence doubles your attractiveness. And it will help give you something to do other than play video games.
4) When it comes to talking to girls, absolutely NEVER approach a girl with 'getting her' in mind. Show that you are interested in her, listen to her and make solid eye contact. Pay close attention to her, girls love attention. I have yet to find a girl that doesn't want to be understood. If she doesn't want your attention you'll know. She'll start rubber necking, and be very distant. There is nothing wrong with that happening, just take a bow and walk away. If you persist she will think you are a creep.
1) Don't waste your time on any of this until you feel good about yourself... other wise you will fail and feel worse about yourself
2) Show her you are interested in her... Not her body, just her.
3) Her body language will tell you all you need to know if you are barking up the wrong tree or not.
4) And for god sakes get out of your parents house. You're not 19 in any more.