Are you attracted to quiet men that make no effort to impress or compete for women, ladies?

[Anonymous]

My female friend claims women never see these sorts of men as confident or attractive.

Yes

No

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+1 y

I'm one of those guys that won't ask women out and only will consider extremely attractive women, otherwise I don't waste my time on dating or relationships.

[Anonymous]

You're into PUA right? (sounds like it by how much you talk about "value")

Fact is women like a guy who can make the first move. It shows confidence (one of the most attractive qualities a guy can have, all "high value" guys are confident). Also a lot of the time even if the girl is really attracted to you she will not make the first move.

I am a quiet, socially awkward guy myself (something I'm working on improving) but I also do make an effort. I always make the first move when I like a girl, even though it scares the sh*t out of me. You can use this excuse that not making any effort or making the first move makes you a "high value" man, but it's bullsh*t, all it really means is that you're a pussy. It might sound harsh, but it's true. You're scared.

It's true that a "high value" man doesn't put too much effort into overly impressing girls, or kissing their arses, but if you want one you need to chase a little. My advice if you really want to have success and get a nice girl is just to put a little effort into it. Approach girls you like, get to know them, see whether you like them or not, and make the first moves when you decide you do.

Or you can keep coming on here and posting this question, hoping that girls will tell you what you're doing is fine, and that they love it. And not get laid. Ever.

Stop being a pussy.

[Asker]

Nope, I think PUA is beneath me. Good concept, but only low value men need to pursue women and try to act like hot sh*t.

[vmw2008]

@Answerer **Applauds**

[Opinion Owner]

But you've studied it yeah?

How many hot girls have you laid? Honestly? High value men get laid a lot. I don't think you're getting laid much at all.

[Opinion Owner]

@vmw2008: ha ha thanks :)

[Asker]

And what if a high value man is waiting until marriage to have sex? Your idea that a high value man must have "gotten laid" or "scored hot girls" is equal parts misogynistic and bull. I agree a high value man must make the first move, but trying to "impress" a woman or act like some hotshot is for dumbass high schoolers driving their daddy's car.

[Asker]

And to think it's a "man's job" to pursue a woman is even more sexist. We don't live in Victorian times anymore, women can and should pursue men they want too.

[Asker]

Women do value men based on criteria discussed in PUA literature, but it isn't based on "social skills" or "alpha" qualities. That's bullsh*t these retards use to tell people they aren't good enough and need to attend pathetic seminars to teach them to 'seduce' women. My friends are in to it, and I think it's pathetic, even comical.

Women value men based on things such as physical appearance, wealth, self control, safety, morals and intelligence. Social proof is for bedding club sluts.

[Opinion Owner]

Good point, if you're waiting until marriage then good for you. It's definately not misogynistic, I love women.

I also agree with you that trying to impress a woman or act like some hotshot is for losers. But approaching a girl doesn't mean you're a show off/kiss ass.

And to think it's a woman's job to approach a high value man is also sexist.

Why did you write this post?

[Opinion Owner]

Haha I also agree with you that most of the PUA stuff is bullsh*t.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Imo, women should be willing to approach first as well. "we want equality! everywhere except where we get benefits like not having to be the first to say hi or I love you or anything serious in the social world ya!" -_-

[Opinion Owner]

@TheGodEmpororLeto - yeah but they're not. Not many people are willing to approach at all. Look at all the questions on here "does he/she like me?" "should I ask him/her out?" "I don't know what to do" "how do I tell him/her I like him/her?". Everybody is so afraid of rejection. It's silly. It's not just women who expect guys to do the approaching, there are plenty of guys like you and the OP who think it should be the other way around. It's not gonna happen though. Grow some balls.

[Uprising]

Sometimes it will. If it's not because the guy thinks he's all high and mighty and just don't make the first move or make an effort (unless he's gay or somethingg, then it's useless) then - au contraire.

It WILL possibly draw my attention. But after that it no use if he's a jerk or somethingg. It's just makes me curious and such at the beginning.

[Anonymous]

I like quiet guys, but no effort at all quickly gets frustrating, and I move on. Also, if he's the kind of guy you are, who only considers looks as criteria for dating, any attraction I might have had disappears. That kind of attitude is highly unattractive.

[Asker]

Well I want a woman that is smart, ideally with similar interests, really good looking, not sexually compromised and has good morals.

[genevieve]

If he was naturally quiet but really tried come out a bit, then that would be attractive. But if he was arrogant and made no effort whatsoever then no that's a dealbreaker

[Asker]

I mean the kind of man that literally never approaches women and just generally doesn't make the first move

[genevieve]

probably not, most women, including me, are used to guys asking them out not the other was around. So they will consider those that ask them out first obviously

[Asker]

I mean high value men that won't ask women out

[genevieve]

still no

[Asker]

Why?

[genevieve]

Maybe its just me but I never asked a guy out and won't date a guy if he doesn't ask me out

@ your update extremely attractive women are used to getting asked out every one in a while and there sure are some decent ones along them, so they can be picky. As a result they are extremley unlikley to date you

[Asker]

Bah. Well what if I am quiet and socially awkward but will only ask out those sorts of women?

[genevieve]

obviously still rather unlikley

[Asker]

Why do you say so?

[genevieve]

well if your 'socially awkward' chances are those kind of women do have better offers

[Asker]

I should probably be more specific. I mean if a guy is smart, financially successful and pretty handsome but kind of quiet. Would women think the guy is low value just because he's not socially permissible?

[genevieve]

not low value but your value def decreases a bit

[Asker]

What if the guy just has no "game" but is honest and straight forward, confident but kind of unfamiliar with the way dating practices work because of a very sheltered upbringing?

[genevieve]

idk

[Asker]

Could you take a guess, please?

[selfishstars]

Do you ever get bored of asking the same question multiple times a day?

[Killfest400]

I think the fact that it continues to be posted multiple times a day pretty much answers that question.

[beerY33]

Quiet + little effort to impress = good

Stuck up + no effort whatsoever = bad

[AdamThomas]

Love this answer.

[slipslender]

yup, I am attracted. but initially, I can be pretty quiet too, so I guess we'd get nowhere lol.

[slipslender]

@update: wow. I find quiet men attractive. I do NOT find extremely superficial men attractive. good luck.

[frustratedchump06]

this is a stupid question

[Anonymous]

not even a little bit