Guys are valued for their intelligence, compassion, style, humor, career, artistic ability, work ethic, looks, fitness, unique perspective, etc. They stay valuable forever. They date who they want and can do things to improve their romantic prospects.
Girls are only valuable for great facial features, tight body and sexual willingness. They are only valuable when they are young. They can't change their romantic prospects, only learn to deal with whoever picks them. Their choices dwindle after only a few years on the serious dating scene.
Being a female makes me feel so miserable and worthless. Does anyone else feel this way?
Most Helpful Guy
You could replace 'valued' with 'judged on' and conclude that life is a minefield for men trying to date. Some stay valuable forever, some are worthless forever.
I think you are mixing a few things though, one is attraction, the other is factors that are valued in a relationship.
I would agree for the most part - intelligence, humor, looks, fitness, style, career and also confidence are part of women's attraction to men. Going the other way, a woman's attractiveness to men is based on body, facial features, sexuality. (I wouldn't say willingness, I would say enthusiasm. A woman who is enthusiastic does become more sexually desireable).
That's what draws people together. Yes, its different. You, like most people, focus on when the other side has it 'good'. Men who are fit, tall, good looking, smart, funny, have great careers and are confident have it made with women for their whole lives, the lucky bastards! Of course that's a small group of men. Men who have no career, are slow witted, not funny, in bad shape and are ugly are not desireable to women. Any women. Not women their own age, not women who are younger, not women 20 years older. Nobody wants them. Not today, not ever.
Women tend to ride a curve. They are indeed very much in demand especially in their prime fertility years. A woman who is not that attractive, at age 25, is still reasonably attractive to most 50 year old men. But that fades.
Life is good for young women and high status men, and not so easy for low status men or old women. You can decide for yourself if men or women on average have the better or worse deal there, but of course you can't change it. As you said, women can only 'learn to deal with whoever picks them'. For some men though they have no romantic prospects _period_.
You are focusing (apart from throwing out compassion) entirely on _attraction_. Yes, men and women want relationships with people they find attractive. But that's not what keeps them in a relationship and makes them happy. Both men and women like to be in a relationship with someone who is kind, compassionate, loving, honest and loyal. Those qualities are valued by both. You may not see men value it much when dating casually, but they DEFINITELY seek those in a wife and future mother to their children.
You can focus on the negatives, or just deal with them and enjoy the positives. I'm 35 now, my wife is older. Yes, 40 year old women do not look as good as 25 year olds, and the world is not their oyster. But 40 year old women who have a good personality and who keep their bodies in good shape, dress well, have a good style, plenty of men are interested in them. Its not like for men being fit and having a career are effortless either!
You can sit around being sad that you're not a supermodel with every man in the world after you, or you can be the best you can and trust that lots of decent, attractive men will want to be with you, and find one you click with.3
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