Would you date someone with an abusive background?

Would you date a woman who came from an abusive background? Yes or No, & Why?

Types of abuse:

Molestation

Domestic Violence

Sexual Abuse

Rape

Emotional Abuse

How would you want her to tell you? How long would you want her to wait before she told you?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Having abuse in someone's background doesn't necessarily mean they will treat you badly. It can sometimes mean they don't know how to give love back e.g. say I love you, or feel comfortable being hugged. I don't know if there is a right time for anyone to tell you such a thing. Telling you does mean that they trust you and feel comfortable enough with you to want to tell you in the first place. My experience comes from having dated guys who were physically or verbally abused by their fathers/stepfathers.

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What Guys Said 1

  • I've been down that road before and I don't think I could do it again. The girls had been so abused that they started trashing on me and I'm the type that will hold out hoping for a change, but in the end I would just end up getting hurt more. There's a very slim chance that I could, but I would have to know her for a while and observe how her past affected her.

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    • Unfortunately most girls in situations like that end up very scarred. But that doesn't mean that all women who are abused end up that way. I've got some abuse in my history but I think I'm pretty normal, at least when it comes to relationships hehe Playing it safe never hurts though, just don't automatically cast girls aside for it until you get to know them :)

    • And I've been scarred by them in return. My heart goes out to any girl who has been abused, but I will not be a doormat anymore. If I were to meet a girl who has been abused but will not abuse me, or anyone for that matter, I might give her a shot. Like I said, I would have to know her first, but my guard would be up.

    • Or rather, "can't be a doormat".

What Girls Said 3

  • I've been abused in the past but it's never seemed to turn guys away from me. I think usually once a guy gets to know you, if he likes you for who you are then stuff like that doesn't really matter. Of course I wouldn't use that as my opening line either lol. If you don't make it a big deal, then it shouldn't be a big deal to them either. But hopefully he would feel bad that that happened to you...

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  • YIKES.

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  • You need to deal with all that on your own before you date someone. It seems like you're not over it because you're still brining it up an it was horrible and something you need closure with first

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