Dating with kids...alcohol and spending time together.

I am dating a woman who has no kids (11 months). I prefer not to drink around my son and do not allow alcohol in my home. I will occasionally have one or two, very rarely. When my son is at his Moms, I spend that time at my girlfriends. I also go there every day for lunch or breakfast and spend the night any time son is at a friends. Girlfriend asks me to come over a lot, even when she knows my son is home and I feel the need to be there with him. She acts disappointed with that answer.

She asks and comments on me moving in with her, yet rarely stays or visits with me. I spend a lot of time with her at her place Not even just for dinner. we went over 3 months without her visiting. Currently has been about 3 weeks.

For someone who asks when I am moving in and has suggested marriage why is it hard to get her to visit?

It makes me feel bad when I cannot come over or cannot stay. I she gets impatient when I cannot spend time with her. I feel she doesn't understand the urgency to get home after work to my son. Am I reading the situation wrong?

Am I reading too much into this?

Updates:
Son Lives with me, he is 15. Visits his mom every other weekend and 1 week per summer, along with occasional holidays when she picks him up.
I think she feels like we will wait untill son is out of the house and then get married...I am having a real problem with this thought... not sure I want to wait for that reason... if we are right for each other, no reason to wait...am I wrong in thinking this way?

He will still be my son after he is out on his own... parenting is life long!



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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm also a parent and have come to realize that as well as myself anyone I'm dating should understand that my daughter comes first and should show an interest in her if they are looking to pursue a relationship with me because like it or not we will both become part of that persons life which is not and easy thing but your girl friend does not seem to understand this and you don't need to be a parent to understand either

    because before I was a parent I dated a guy a even thought his child didn't live with him I paid an interest I understood him being a parent came first its time she start spending time with you and your son she will feel uncomfortable at first but if its something she is not willing to do then she is not the one to tell the truth

    as parents we both no its not just the qualities of a partner for us but also our child

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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, has your son met her? If so you could all move in together. Maybe you should address the situation with her. She has no children so it may take her a while to understand that she cannot be your number one priority all of the time. So I would sit her down and discuss the problem with her.

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    • she has had dinner with us, gone to movies and bowling a couple times. It is starting to look to me like she wants to wait untill he is out of school, 2 years.

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    • she want to wait until your son is out of school this is not a good thing and seems like a plan she has been thinking about which makes me worried and yes you should to

    • I was worried a little...now the thought of this and wondering is effecting my relationship. She doesn't understand how. Just wanted some advice and to make sure it isn't just thoughts in my head, over thinking things.

  • first thing I would like to no is does your son live with you and how old is he

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What Guys Said 0

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